The Fool Wiki

4Kids: Wikis


Note: Many of our articles have direct quotes from sources you can cite, within the Wikipedia article! This article doesn't yet, but we're working on it! See more info or our list of citable articles.

Uncyclopedia

Up to date as of February 05, 2010

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Just for once I'd like to see original non-Franchise animations, but noooo! Although that girl looks pretty flamin' original.
“LET'S BURN THIS FUCKING PLACE TO THE GROUND!!!”
~ Angry anime fans on 4Kids
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!!!”
~ Angry anime fans on Alfred R. Kahn
“AH, 4KIDS!”
~ Tourette's Guy on 4Kids
“Seriously, are there no depths to which 4Kids won't sink?”
“ Honestly, why do we even have a graveyard in this show if nobody ever dies?”
~ Bakura on inconsistency in the show
“Sir, what have you doooooonnnnnnnneeeeeeeee?!”
~ Norman Grossfeld on dubbing all of the anime shows

4Kids is the process that destroys Anime by Americanising Americanizing it. The company is what to be controlled by animator Norman Grossfeld, whose partner is a former New Line Cinema staff member/longtime animator named Alfred R. Kahn. But all the sudden, Norman and Alfred have been caught in the act for stealing by copying the Japanese animation and then wrecking up the whole show they wanted so bad!

coo- cooly

Contents

History

The company was formed in 1992, just after Norman Grossfeld, Alfred R. Kahn, and an Australian under the name of Tom Kenney left New Line Cinema whilst production of the film The Swan Princess and since Kahn had joined the company in 1988. It was like when Don Bluth, Gary Goldman and John Pomeroy left the Disney studio back in 1979 so they could open up a animation studio of their own. This is was when Norman made a short called "Campbell's Portrait of a Teacher". But then, Norman Grossfeld set foot at the Columbia Pictures studio to animate a scene for its film that has a sequence that is related to the one from Xanadu, as done from Don Bluth. But Norman's animation skills ended up in a wrist injury when he made its first TV show by 4Kids, and it was live action. Just one year later in 1996, Norman, Alfred and Tom announced he wants to make a game for the Phillips CD-I and copy the King saying "Mah Boi" and then use the full motion videos to make it like Dragon's Lair, upon the relalions. But then a TV show personality warned Norman not to copy the "Mah Boi" cutscene because he would steal the part for no reason. So, Norman had to get the project for his game cleaned up so he won't get in trouble if he does this right. This arcade game was never available at Time-Out arcade (the arcade that is still going out of business). But Norman Grossfeld created another game, and it was like Space Ace. The fisrt level of the game has Weird Al's "Dare to be Stupid" on it where the princess gets sent away by ships.

The channel was originally the American channel of Fox Box, owned by Fox, and known in other countries as "Fox Kids". In 2005, the channel became rebranded as "4Kids!", when the actual FoxBox was busted open and destroyed whilst internationally, Fox Kids became Jetix.

Coincidence? No. Conspiracy? YES!

Those events were the only things ever happening in the entire history of 4Kids!! Norman is struggling to kill his evil clone to save his friends and Alfred is about to call Disney to battle evil.

Hang on, we got news from Rupert Murdoch from News Corporation that they changed it to CW4Kids.

Episodes

All 4kids shows use the same episodes, as shown below.

  • 1. One of the main characters gets an evil clone. It takes them the whole episode to figure out "Hey, if they're my clone, they must also have my weaknesses!" and beat them in the most obvious way possible.
  • 2. Ninjas appear for no apparent reason in every episode. No exceptions.
  • 3. Characters come from 1000 years ago.
  • 4. Another main character gets an evil clone.
  • 5. Aliens invade at random.
  • 6. Character gets teleported inside a video game and/or a bad guy gets teleported out of a video game.
  • 7. Episode with no relevance to the plot line at all.
  • 8. Another main character gets an evil clone.
  • 9. They enter some competition which has something to do with evil bad guys.
  • 10. All-out pun fest.
  • 11. Everyone gets an evil clone.
  • 12. Super-episode with evil alien ninja clones of clones of everyone from 1000 years ago inside video game competitions. No relevance to the plot line, but lots of puns. Sadly, these actually do exist.

4Kids Demon

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about a shit of an anime company.

The 4Kids Demon is an extremely powerful (and smelly) demon that was once locked away for all eternity in order to prevent television from being turned into crap. However, 4Kids, in their evil plot to take over all television, released the seal on the demon by killing JR and releasing it from the previously mentioned FoxBox. The demon is now helping 4Kids goal by dubbing Spawn, which are marketed by 4Kids as television shows, to destroy good television and brainwash children into following the orders of all 4Kids. The 4Kids demon has been seen only once, in the first episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! Capsule Monster Chess, a spinoff series of one of the demon's spawn. While 4Kids denies the existence of the demon, it is known to be true by just about everything in the universe except John McCain.

Spawn

The following are demon spawn dubbed by the 4Kids Demon, removing any remote truth to their original franchises, adding fucking gay voices for characters while simultainiousley making the ones for teenagers originaly, currently for toddlers, by adding dialog changes, and marketed by the company as television shows. Even Marilyn Manson agrees the "shows" are too terrible.

  • Pokémon - Once dubbed by 4Kids, the show turned out from Japanese-style, high quality animation to a cheap low-quality American show that is completely too American for a Japanese show[1]. It is finally dubbed by Taj Mahal Productions, which then becomes dubbed by the Pokémon Company after they realised that it's crap under Taj Mahal.
  • Cramp Twins - Believed to be the most boring/Canadian animated series in the history of the universe. Speaks of a family, a mom and dad with two kids, a swamp-obsessed nerd (whom many people like the most, due to his... um...) called Lucien (that IS a word, my Firefox says so) and a CRAZY BLUE-FACED FREAK called Wayne. Nothing really happens besides regular unfunny/Canadian events[2].
  • Viva Pinata - Strictly displaying the gameplay videos of Viva Pinata, for no apparent reason whatsoever. The CEO of 4Kids claims that whomever came up with this idea must of been a total retard, but regardless of this, it is our best-rated show.
  • Sonic X - The story of Sonic the Hedgehog landing on to the real world from the game world. Due to this, the Sonic franchise income has fallen by 80%[3]. The series fails to even look good. It just sucks. Even in Japanese. Seriously fanboys, it was a steaming crock of shit from day one. Fox/Plant relationship? Sonic characters taking up 0.5% of the new world? BASEBALL AND COPS WHO DRIVE RACECARS? Give me a fucking break.
  • Baghdad Mew Mew - In which 5 terrorist girls are genetically enhanced so they can fight off the evil Cyniclons. It was taken off the air by it's creators after they saw just how bad the Americans at 4Kids had made it, and handed it over to another company (possibly Viz Media).
  • Kirby: Right back at Ya! - another one of those franchise animations, the Kirby show speaks of Kirby and his/her adventures. What else? The new characters are Lololol and Lalalal. They have become supreme and legendary internet memes.
  • One Piece - A story of a pirate and his friends who not only fight the forces of evil, but also fight the forces of really shitty voice acting, stupid edits, hammer guns and poison suction cups, missing story arcs, lightening the skin of a black character[4], and really gay rap music. Currently being dubbed by Funimation, who is staying true to the original[5].
  • Yu-Gi-Oh! - A television show about grown-ups playing children's card games, homosexuals with all-powerful magical objects, and Seto Kaiba, whose ego is larger than everything put together into one big... something.
  • Yugioh STDs - Children's card games nude on motorcycles. Nuff' said.
  • GoGoRiki - a show that stemmed straight out of Russia that was used to brainwash all of their children in the guise of a show about little round animals. when 4kids obtained dubbing rights it was basically the same with the whole brainwashing process.
  • CBS - What?

It is also believed the CEO of 4Kids is a spawn of the 4Kids Demon, but they have taken a hostage so we can't get close and ask them.

Things 4Kids hates

4Kids is a very hateful organisation Mafia Nazi Hitler youth organization. Do not ask why, no one quite knows the reason. Maybe anger led to it. It has been established through intensive psychological testing that they hate Communism, Chainsaws, Rice balls, Automatic firearms, Talented voice actors, Jesus, Holy Week, Anything having to do with religion, Anything to do with Freemasons, Babies, Meowing, Cigarettes, Chefs who smoke cigarettes, Well-written scripts, The word "shit" (which just drips with irony), Kittens, Puppies , EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD FOR HUMANITY, Homosexuality, Anal sex, Bestiality, Heterosexuality, Anything defined loosely as sexual, Anything defined by Bill Clinton as "not sex", Sexual innuendo, Any grouping of 4 or more people that does not have at least two white people in., Pesons, Joy, laughter, and happiness, little guns, very, very,very extreme violence, Pingas, Anyone whose name sounds even remotely Japanese, Open mouths(seriously!), Original Voice Actors, Original good music, You, Me, Japan, And especially Hugh Jackman.

Generally when they find things that they hate, they do horrible things to them.

Americanisation Americanization of anime

Fox has long prided itself on being able to appeal to the broadest possible audience. In order to maintain their high levels of integrity and appeal, they have made some horrible minor amendments to their line up.

Race

As the American audience cannot watch any TV show with a black actor or character[6] one of the main changes that needed to be done was to changing any black guy into a white guy. Also to appeal to the differences in language and voice they have given Joey Wheeler and Sanji lousy Brooklyn accents. A simple voice over and Voilà! Bada-bing! You have an American produced show.

Food

Of course the differences in culture also extend to the American diet. As such rice balls are edited to make them look like sandwiches and biscuits crackers. Other changes in the same arena also include turning a cigarette into a lollipop.

Sex and violence

Of course we don't want our children to be exposed to sex and violence until they are at least old enough to use a computer, so many violent aspects of the show like people's guns are "cropped" from the final showing. Males become females, and vice versa (although not within the context of the show of course.) And any overly sexual bulge (breasts and groin) become mysteriously invisible. This does have the tendency to make some of the characters look ambiguously camp.

Religion

Of course as the American audience is undoubtedly American, and as 95% of all American people are non-denominational Christian, characters are at times sent to "The Shadow Realm", although of course the heroes always do escape. Christmas of course does come but once a year, however it is repeated a number of times over that same period.

Other changes

Although there are too many minor changes to name, a couple of the more significant and mysterious changes are the morphing of animals into inanimate objects (that still make animal sounds), and changing really awesome theme songs into weedy raps.

References

  1. This example shows how 4Kids make small children think that even stuff that comes from Japan and other countries is "American". Especially sushi.
  2. It's shown on Cartoon Network, and it's their fault now that they axed it.
  3. Due to the crappiness of Sonic X, the income fell from a million yen a year to only 50 yen a year. Thankfully, the show ended in 2009. Thank God that happened.
  4. Which, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), was extremely racist.
  5. The SPLC congratulated Funimation for showing tolerance to black people.
  6. Unless it also has a voice-over stating "witnesses describe the assailant as African-American."

See also

External links

   v  d  e
4Kids is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.

This article uses material from the "4Kids" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







Got something to say? Make a comment.
Your name
Your email address
Message