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Up to date as of February 05, 2010

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This is Kiarostami starting his car. Do you see?

Abbas Kiarostami is an Iranian taxi driver who is internationally known for shooting his own customers if they talk too much. Although considered wanted by Iranian legal authorities since 1970, Kiarostami has been involved in over forty shooting incidents, all of them captured by traffic enforcement cameras. He is considered the most wanted fugitive in Iran since the capture of Saddam Hussein.

Kiarostami's latest shootings gave the Iranian police a few fresh angles on the very thing that's driving Kiarostami. And some fresh beef.

Kiarostami notoriously began his career by shooting a little boy and his dog. Several interpretations were suggested for that act, one of them is that Kiarostami became jealous as Iran joined the race of nuclear weapons and Little Boy was declared most wanted by Iranian police. He still enjoys shooting children, including orphans from Uganda.

Many of Kiarostami's shootings begin as he starts a conversation with one of his most boring passengers, thus forcing the increased involvement of the passenger in the shooting. They start conversing on different issues like the place of women in Iranian society, while Kiarostami starts shooting the passenger. In recent years, it becomes more and more unclear who is the Kiarostami and who is the passenger, as the conversations become much more minimalistic. Sometimes the passenger starts believing he is the Kiarostami and sometimes the Kiarostami starts believing he is directing a movie, only he is not sure who's directing it, him or the passenger. This made the Iranian authorities very confused, to a point where even President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and King Xerxes became suspects, much more so with the increased use of contemporary Iranian poetry by Kiarostami himself:

Abbas Kiarostami We are confident that the Islamic logic, culture, and discourse can prove their superiority in all fields over all schools of thought and theories. You Greeks take pride in your logic. I suggest you employ it. Consider the beautiful land you so vigorously defend. Picture it reduced to ash at my whim! Consider the fate of your women! Abbas Kiarostami

—from An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver

This is Kiarostami turning left, do you see?
Here Kiarostami is approaching a dangerous curve. This was just nearby the curve. Do you see?

Lately, Kiarostami began to break into the Iranian police offices and digitally alter his own shots. This has been known as The Wind Will Carry Us sting, and created even further confusionism between the passenger and his Kiarostamis. Moreover, Kiarostami developed a technique to convince one of his passengers that he is the

This juxtaposed screenshot of the article's editing process is a continuation of the regular presentation of the article (above).

Kiarostami who pictures himself as a passenger and the other is a passenger who pictures himself as a Kiarostami, none of this made the camera believe it is a taxi, or vice versa. Kiarostami is also known for offering a new definition to the concept of shooting. Some of the shootings of Kiarostami shoot a passenger end with a shooting of Kiarostami shooting himself, a passenger, or a passenger shooting Kiarostami while shooting is in the progress.

This is Kiarostami doing an interpretation of Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman. Do you see?

Throughout his career, Kiarostami's work, often called Kiarostamian Cinema, has influenced many Hollywood filmmakers. American answers to Kiarostami are sometimes referred to as Keirastamian or Keanustamian films. Much like Kiarostami's shootings, Keanu Reeves' films are known for their treatment of the victory of the human spirit, no matter how boring the human might be.

This is Kiarostami in his tribute to Woody Allen's Hollywood Ending, do you see?
This is me creating this article. Do you see?
Filmmakers of the World (and America)
Epic Visionaries

Michelangelo Antonioni | Ingmar Bergman | Don Bluth | Peter Bogdanovich | Tim Burton | Charlie Chaplin | Coen Brothers | Clint Eastwood | Federico Fellini | Terry Gilliam | Norman Grossfeld | Alfred Hitchcock | John Hughes | Jim Jarmusch | Charlie Kaufman | Abbas Kiarostami | Stanley Kubrick | Sergio Leone | David Lynch | Martin Scorsese | Steven Spielberg | Quentin Tarantino | Andrei Tarkovsky | Orson Welles | Robert Rodriguez | Zack Snyder

Not-So-Epic Visionaries

Michael Bay | Mel Gibson | Uwe Boll | John Carpenter | Kevin Costner | David Cronenberg | Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer | Peter Jackson | George Lucas | Dolph Lundgren | McG | Guy Ritchie | George Romero | Eli Roth | M. Night Shyamalan | Blitz Smith | Kevin Smith | Alan Smithee | Sylvester Stallone | Ben Stiller | Billy Bob Thornton | John Woo | Ed Wood | Rob Zombie

Highly Respected in France

Woody Allen | Darren Aronofsky | Mel Brooks | Jean-Luc Godard | Fritz Lang | Jerry Lewis | Rob Schneider | François Truffaut

Highly Confusing in Japan

Dario Argento | Akira Kurosawa | Russ Meyer | Hayao Miyazaki | Mr. Takashi of Japan

Highly Disturbing in Mexico

Guillermo del Toro

Highly Racist in Suid-Afrika

Neill Blomkamp

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This article uses material from the "Abbas Kiarostami" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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