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Alan Smithee: Wikis

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Up to date as of February 05, 2010

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Alan Smithee.
“I think I saw him once”
~ Captain Oblivious on Alan Smithee
“He iz one of my all time favorite directors. I aspire to his quality.”
~ Uwe Boll on Alan Smithee
One of Smithee's many directorial trademarks.

One of the greatest movie directors in the history of film, Alan Smithee has directed more than 50 feature films in his 40+ year lifetime.

Born in the tiny Eastern European country of Batavia, Smithee's family emigrated to the U.S. ('Smithee' is actually the Americanized version of the family's old world name - 'Johnson') during the Great Peat Shortage of 1935. They eventually settled in Oxnard, California where Smithee's father, Tim, found work as a horsepainter. His mother, Esme, worked part time as the Governor of California (1936-38) until the vicissitudes of raising 13 children made it too difficult.

Smithee's first job in the movie industry was at Warner Bros. where he worked as a tripod for the immortal William "One Shot" Beaudine on several of the wildly popular Torchy Blane films. From there he worked his way up to assistant gaffer at Monogram and, in 1955, got his first big break substituting for famed cinematographer Arnie Ellis II after he was mauled by a sloth on the set of Tarzan Buys A Buick.

Smithee Filmography

  • The Uncyclopedia Movie (2006)
  • Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz - The Movie! (1990)
  • Saigon Surprise (1989)
  • A Milli Vanilli Christmas (TV) (1988)
  • Ernest Goes to Rehab (1987)
  • Big Big Guns (1986)
  • Death Exterminator II (1985)
  • Revenge of the Guy Behind You! (1982)
  • Galaxy Fighters III: The Empire's New Hope (1981)
  • He's Behind You! (1980)
  • Galaxy Fighters II: Payback (1978)
  • Monstrous Alien Vagina (1977)
  • Galaxy Fighters (1976)
  • Messy Jill, Goofy Bill (1975)
  • Kung-Fu Death-Cheaters (1974)
  • Hands Up, Honky! (1974)
  • Motorcycle Mamas In Chains (1973)
  • Godbother! (1968)
  • The Eerie Area (TV) (1967)
  • Chuck Winsor: Park Ranger (TV) (1966)
  • Holy Crap! It's a Giant Lobster! (1965½)
  • With Four You Get Pigs Feet (1965)
  • Come Back, Farley Granger! (1964)
  • Hillbilly Hijinks (1963)
  • Mars Needs Elvis (1959)
  • Reform School Hellcats (1958)
  • Beach Blanket Beats (1957)

External links

Filmmakers of the World (and America)
Epic Visionaries

Michelangelo Antonioni | Ingmar Bergman | Don Bluth | Peter Bogdanovich | Tim Burton | Charlie Chaplin | Coen Brothers | Clint Eastwood | Federico Fellini | Terry Gilliam | Norman Grossfeld | Alfred Hitchcock | John Hughes | Jim Jarmusch | Charlie Kaufman | Abbas Kiarostami | Stanley Kubrick | Sergio Leone | David Lynch | Martin Scorsese | Steven Spielberg | Quentin Tarantino | Andrei Tarkovsky | Orson Welles | Robert Rodriguez | Zack Snyder

Not-So-Epic Visionaries

Michael Bay | Mel Gibson | Uwe Boll | John Carpenter | Kevin Costner | David Cronenberg | Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer | Peter Jackson | George Lucas | Dolph Lundgren | McG | Guy Ritchie | George Romero | Eli Roth | M. Night Shyamalan | Blitz Smith | Kevin Smith | Alan Smithee | Sylvester Stallone | Ben Stiller | Billy Bob Thornton | John Woo | Ed Wood | Rob Zombie

Highly Respected in France

Woody Allen | Darren Aronofsky | Mel Brooks | Jean-Luc Godard | Fritz Lang | Jerry Lewis | Rob Schneider | François Truffaut

Highly Confusing in Japan

Dario Argento | Akira Kurosawa | Russ Meyer | Hayao Miyazaki | Mr. Takashi of Japan

Highly Disturbing in Mexico

Guillermo del Toro

Highly Racist in Suid-Afrika

Neill Blomkamp

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This article uses material from the "Alan Smithee" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

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