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Uncyclopedia

Up to date as of February 05, 2010

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

The anime group.

An anime is a chemical compound that contains the anime group, which consists of one oxygen atom, one tantalum atom, one potassium atom, and one uranium atom, with a total charge of negative one (OTaKU-). Anime compounds can be divided into two groups: animo acids and animo salts. If combined with several items including alcohol and porn mags, the chemical compound HeN(TAi) can be made.

Contents

General properties of animes

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Anime.

Animes tend to be highly volatile and dangerous, even when diluted. Most animes are known to enlarge the eyes of anyone who ingests them, and many have other adverse effects, such as creating a popped vein in the drinker's right temple. Also, Animes are required to have at least one sexy main character. This means a handsome man and a hawt girl. For further reference, see this.

Addictive properties

Prolonged exposure to animes can result in serious anime addiction. A number of studies on the subject of anime addiction have shown that even so little exposure as looking at an anime can be enough to afflict some. Teenagers are particularly vulnerable to anime addiction; in laboratory conditions, teenagers are advised to keep away from any anime they see and to not experiment with any foreign-looking chemicals that could be animes.

An opposite and more common reaction caused by exposure to anime is a deep feeling of unnatural hatred directed towards the chemical. People using it for this purpose usually do so to redirect feelings of hostility away from themselves or other people at a harmless substance.

Reactivity of Anime

Helium Nitro-Tantalum Iodide, a product of Animes.

Animes often tend to react with several other groups of chemicals.

For instance, by adding several kinds of alcohol to a solution of animes, helium, nitrogen, tantalum, and iodine can be combined to form HeN(TaI), a molecule that, once created, causes all nearby molecules to undergo neuron decay. Scientists are exploring this chemical reaction to see if it is possible to create some sort of energy source by doing so. To that end, researchers at Tokyo Tech have found a way to mass produce this new compound by harnessing the raw power of Japanese tears and blood.

Animes do not react well with mysterious colored liquids. When combined with these, anime usually tends to explode in a semi-comical corona of light, afflicting those in the general area with a briefly passing chibi affliction.

New research by Western researchers has shown that it is possible to synthesize Animes using Western technology. However, it has been found that many of these results are either shoddily made or degrade too quickly into HeN(TaI).

Anime extraction process

Animes are very rarely found in their purest state. In most cases, they must be extracted from large, complex, solid manganese compounds called manga. These compounds exist in this special class because they are the only ones in which manganese is known to go extra hyper with an oxidation number of 15. The reducing process required involves collecting the manga from manga deposits, submerging the compound in a sufficiently dissolving solvent (such as water), reducing it with very strong reductants (such as Bandai) and refining the resulting anime.

Further reducing already refined animes is sometimes called "dubbing" due to the "dub-dub" sound the anime makes upon releasing foreign impurities. During this stage, anime salts and acids are separated. In many instances, the refining process also releases the by-product, manganese animide (OTaKOMnU) or various complexes of which. Although it appears a further anime group could be extracted from such a product, the other unusual oxidation state of 1 for manganese in it means there is currently no known way to take the animes away from them.

Anime extraction is a very delicate process, and improper care in the second reducing phase can lead to pure anime of remarkably low quality. Although some animes exist that are known for their successful dubbed solutions, most are considered to be far inferior to the original dissolved anime mineral, much less the original manga ore, especially in such areas as durability, luster, and keeping the words synced up to their freaking lips.

Anime naming conventions

Animes are named in a system radically unlike other chemicals. Most chemicals are named using a combination of their constituent ions or groups; however, animes are often named based on their physical characteristics, sometimes on their historical uses, and sometimes on a seemingly random sequence of words. This has led to a great deal of disagreement, conflict, and badly written hate mail among chemists, but the system is still the most common in use today.

Animo acids

The Universal Warning Sign of Animo Acids.

Animo acids are the more reactive, violent, huge-sword-sporting type of animes. Most animo acids have the general structure H[M]OTaKU, where [M] is anything with a formal charge of zero. Exceptions include acids with a negative ionic component, such as tentacle animo acid (see below). These are called polyprotic animo acids; they contain multiple H+ ions, which usually end up as bad spinoffs or movies when dissolved in aqueous solution. Animo acids tend to be utilized by such chemists as ninjas, pirates, and shinigami.

Anime view

Animes are really Chineese/Japs. So we should kill the commies. Animes are known for there 'fucking gay curve' effect. They are over-popular due to an overload of frigging perverts. On the 'fucking gay curve' effect, that is the effect of looking at the character side ways. Fucking Gay Popular Anime That anime is the most FUCKING! Popular anime possible, it is known for it's really gay effect. Like the 'shit tear'. The character crys with the possibility of shitting too! Isn't that great too?

Examples of animo acids

  • Ninja animo acid – named so because it is often applied to ninjastars to make them deadlier.
  • Pirate animo acid – named so because it is often applied to piratestars to make them deadlier.
  • Alchemic animo acid – mentioned in old alchemical texts as having numerous transmutative properties, though its initial users warned of danger to one's arm associated with it if the exchange of atoms is not kept equivalent at all times.
  • Animo acid on acid – the history behind its name is unknown, and frankly quite frightening.
  • Animo acid for fuel – Animo acids are commonly used in substitute for Sentai compounds in giant robots. The advantage of animo acid is clear, when used in Mobil Suits, animo acid generally has the potential to make such machines faster than most any Sentai compound fueled robot, which at best only have the potential to look like they're going fast, simpler, making most robots pilotable even by average teenagers, and in some "unique" cases, even semi-sentient.
  • Tentacle animo acid – a strong animo acid which contains a saturated solution of HeN(TaI)-. It is one of the few naturally occurring animo acids; it is commonly found in the tentacles of octopi. It is sometimes called a "hentai" acid due to the formula of its negative ionic component. Although tentacle acid has little adverse affects on living beings, it dissolves clothes completely, especially schoolgirl uniforms.

Animo salts

The effect of an animo salt solution on litmus paper.

Animo salts tend to be far less dangerous than animo acids, although they react just as easily. Most animo acids simply consist of the anime group coupled with any number of alkali metals, although some sport alkaline earth or even transition metals (these usually result in more bishōjo-ish salts, due to the increase in OTaKU- ions). Animo salts are typically sported by schoolchildren in love.

Examples of animo salts

  • Sailor animo salt – though having nothing to do with sailors, this salt is a popular condiment among young girls, in large part due to an urban legend of "magical" properties.
  • Fruity animo salt – this salt was formerly believed to be found in fruits and to have anthropomorphic properties.
  • Love animo salt – a purported love potion when dissolved in aqueous solution. In reality, it just got members of the opposite gender to make fun of the drinker.

Animo base

Main article: Bleach (base)

Bleach is the only known base to contain the anime group. It reacts completely with most animo acids and is considered a strong base despite lacking a chemical structure resembling any other strong bases. Most attribute this to its extreme amounts of spiritual energy.

In popular culture

Animes have a large cultural impact, both inside and outside the chemical world. One of the largest examples of this is the phenomenon known as the anime convention, at which proponents of anime use gather to discuss anime-related topics, such as improvements on refining, popular use, effect on the global economy, and cosplay, or dressing up as one's favorite animo acid or salt. This latter subject, in fact, makes up the vast majority of anime convention activity; many anime followers actually seem to have no business at conventions whatsoever aside from displaying their elaborate and time-consuming costumes before the only audience that will appreciate them.

See also

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Anime is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.

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Wackypedia

Up to date as of February 07, 2010

From Wackypedia

Anime is a noun that has started many, many, wars among such subjects as politics and religion.

So to keep a neutral POV we will split the article into two parts.

Contents

anime lovers say

Anime is a legitimate art form. So much love and care goes into it. Some people say it's perverted and stuff but they just don't get the point. It's really the most beautiful thing ever. Detractors are all weak-minded individuals and shall never reach a higher plane. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go try (again) to summon my hot shinigami so she'll show me how to do a ki blast and get revenge on all those weak idiots. You really can do that you know, have you ever seen Buddist mystics? I'm pretty sure it'll be even easier for me since I'm part Saiyan. Those exist too.

anime haters say

Japanese cartoons are fucking gay and only queer fags like them. Dude, cartoons are for gay babies and retards and anime is the same, except this is for pervs who are also babies like Michael Jackson. Lol, Michael Jackson iz fuhnny. Hey, you ever wonder what would happen if I ride a bouncy ball in the middle of the train tracks? I bet those anime fuckers wouldn't have thought of that, they're too busy jacking off to anime to do anything with their lives. nerds. I'm gonna go try tha- Ooh! Shiny!

Characters

All of them are smart, and strong, and they have great personalities... Except for the girls, but they're hot.

~ Anime lover

They're emos! All of them are either emo or gay, tell me one who is not gay or an emo! THERE AREN'T ANY

~ Anime hater

The characters in animes are basically like those in other cartoons, except that they remember the lessons they learn in episodes, and they die. Ho boy do they die, they're all probly ghosts by now...

The first-born son

This guy really reminds me of me, he is destined for greatness, but he is still a goof-off... when need be. Although he is often beaten up by small-minded, dark-souled, villains, he always gets back up in the face of sure death AND HE ALWAYS WINS.

Oh, this loser. Why does every anime have to have this loser? GIVE UP ALREADY! God, I bet you get no sex at all, too busy shooting energy blasts? I could kick your butt because I play football.

The torso

I don't think I need to say any more here, just feast your eyes boys B). Don't pay too much attention, you'll just get distracted, she doesn't do much, but she provides excellent harem for the hero!

This chick don't get NOTHIN' on hustla! If you think she's hot, you think Minnie Mouse is hot... I know I don't think she's hot... Do you think she's hot? ...I thought so.

The torn prince

Poor, poor guy, believes himself to be destined for greatness, but keeps getting beat! Doesn't he know that only the hero wins everything?

This guy is just as annoying as the hero, but I don't hate him because he doesn't win his fights like a pussy! This doesn't mean I like the show or anything, he's a total rip off of Rocky.

The hammer

This fool thinks he can beat a ki master because he has trained for all his life throwing rocks and things...

Now this is the stupidest part: The biggest guy always gets thrown by the skinny weakling! Don't they know it's impossible to beat someone who's bigger than you?

The jackal

Hold me! Touch me! A perfect combination of strength and sex-appeal! Of course when he dismembers and diembowels his opponents with black spirit rods he doesn't really mean it, he just wants to be loved and to be the greatest killer in the universe. He's a total teddy bear on the inside and since he doesn't like chicks, he's all mine...

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse... it did. Is it a guy or a girl? Whatever it is, hje always has some messed up power that totally messes up peoples. And no one will kill him, no matter how much he kills other people and acts like a total emo! It's like one day he's a bad guy and another day he's good! That's dumb and it shows how dumb these guys are when it comes to good, consistant characters!

The juggernaut

A villain just as wicked as he is mysterious!

Dude, this guy is a disgrace to villains, he doesn't even talk like one! Why is he so calm? COBRAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Episodes

  • 1 - This episode takes place in the year ABDC. We find out hero mysteriously asking for ham and friendship through a desert of neon purple sand. This would all be very confusing to anyone not reading the previous 11 (unreleased) mangas, fortunately, I have. Though I don't know Japanese, I can make up a pretty good plot on my own.

I don't get it!


This article uses material from the "Anime" article on the Wackypedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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