Beer: Wikis


Note: Many of our articles have direct quotes from sources you can cite, within the Wikipedia article! This article doesn't yet, but we're working on it! See more info or our list of citable articles.

Uncyclopedia

Up to date as of February 05, 2010

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

   Continue past the makeshift bridge and the piece of metal you pull down
   to use as a beer, until the path makes a right turn. DO NOT GO RIGHT!
   instead shug a beer, there should be a wall of beer scrap in front of you,
   and you should see numerous curled up beers of metal just like the one
    you pulled down before. This is the tricky part, you have to drink all the
   beers down to make you drunk, and use them to jump to the far-off beer
   platform where the holocron awaits. This is one of those situations where
   Dashing Blast can become very helpful. WHEN YOU GET THE BEER DO NOT PUT
   DRINK IT!!!  I can't stress that enough, if you drink it right away,
   are you will never get it back again.
“I am to beer what the atom bomb was to Japan, but come on...30 to a case for like 20 bucks?”
~ Natty Lite on how much it sucks
“Beer is the fountain of happiness; we should not question its power, but blindly frolic in its foamy ways.”
“Work is the curse of the drinking class.”
~ Oscar Wilde on beer
“Achtung! Entführungsaltfriesischenwörterbuchgegenglopperfeeganwart!”
~ Some German on beer
"Now if I could only remember which one I put the rufie in..."

Beer is the result of industrial byproducts resulting from the fermentation of Mr. Clean and Pinesol. After years of dumping these industrial wastes into nearby lakes and streams, it was discovered that this pollutant had vast potential in the consumer beverage market. This so called "product" is now stored in barrels for several months, aged with with apple cider vinegar, moose piss, and chicken livers, then distilled to an alcohol percentage of .11%. The resulting process produces a bitter yellow substance capable of bloating a man's belly to the size of a pregnant woman carrying quintuplets and making him drunk as a skunk after guzzling 5 cans per hour of this carbonated concoction.

Governments and wheezy aged aunts constantly warn of the dangers of not cutting your toenails. Beer, however, is generally considered to create a mental state in which sound advice can be safely ignored.

Wine should not be confused with the toxic fluid of the same name that is served in the United States and which taste reminds the drinker of camel urine.

Contents

Definitions

This is My Body; this is My Blood; this is My Beer ~ Jesus
  1. The blood of angels
  2. Proof that God was a player.- Ben Franklin
  3. Beer is the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson, season 8 episode 18
  4. Means of transport to land where all women (and men) look sexy.
  5. A substance that allows you to lay the mac down on any girl/guy that you want with no fear of rejection!- Kryx
  6. Beer is a gateway drug, after all, that's what I started with. In Soviet Russia, beer drinks YOU!!! - George W. Bush
  7. That good ol' stuff that overthew them "Svalbard" Emperors and gave the world to the Antichrist or EU -Jimmy
  8. It'll get u drunk! MMM MMM bitch!!!.- Samuel L. Jackson
  9. Mmmm... Beer. - Homer Simpson, every Simpson episode.
  10. It are good go with pizza - Psychostick

Description

“Yellow, fizzy, delicious, yellow, fizzy, delicious, yellow, blurry, fizzilicious.”
~ Oscar Wilde on The defining characteristics of Beer

Though today beer is mass produced in the mountains of the US, such was not always the case. Originally it was created one barrel at a time by monks in Mediocre Britain. Early Britons referred to it as "pissant drink." Unfortunately, the rising popularity of the Bull Moose Party brought about the extinction of "moose abuse juice", and Anglos were forced to find a more cost effective alternative.

Beer is one of the most important food groups in the western diet (augmented by pizza, buffalo wings and Mylanta). Although it can be found in most uncivilised countries (read Canada), it is particularly well respected in the European lands of Germany, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Holland, Ireland, and Texas.In Russia beer drinking is encouraged as it is thought of as something of a soft drink.

Historians will relate that America used to have a good brewing tradition but due to the malevolent influence of its largely puritan population, most American beers are simply too weak for consumption, with most American beers having a Popov index of less than George W Bush's urine. Indeed any holidaying European beer swiller was advised to order two Pitchers at a time as this equates to a pint of normal strength European fighting lager. But thats history. After President Jimmy Carter re-legalized homebrewing in the late 1970's a new type of American beer drinker and brewer was born. Legal homebrewing brought with it easy-to-find ingredients for the yanks. In the 1980's laws were passed allowing brew pubs to open up. Some of these homebrewers became owners of brew pubs and later full fledged micro breweries. No longer would America be monopolized by the big piss breweries. Today, America has nearly 1500 breweries (thats up from less than 50 in 1983). So now when Europeans holiday in the US they have more options than they do in the old world.

Mmm...

It is indisputable whether the mother of all beer-brewing countries is Germany or Ireland. Whilst the German produce a fine sophisticated drink similar to lemonade which overwhealms the consumer with great taste of brewed Weet it is rather commonly used amongst the people. The gloroius country of Ireland on the other hand comes up with a beer drinking culture that relishes in the taste of a substance similar to sweet but bitter and rather liquid bread. Ireland: Where Guinness is King.

Its most infamous beer Duvel is found to be real man slaughter. Belgians often use beer as a weapon to commit robberies and achieve job Promotion. Belgian beer has also turned out to be an excellent weapon against English football hooligans (after a few hours, most of them are too drunk to find the stadium).

Typical receipt from an Australian Bottle-o (highlighted text is actually a Bacardi Breezer)

In Australia, drinking beer is done with "me mates" Duncan, Colin, Patrick, Kevin, Bruce and Robert. Australian beer is uniformly delicious, except for Fosters, which is exported to the rest of the world. In fact, Fosters is Australian for "fit only for export." Of course this is what the addled brains of the mates think, as actually just about any beverage from Australia tastes like kangaroo urine with the exception of Tooth's Sheaf Stout. American beer is supposed to be untasty and thinned with water. At least one thing the fat idiots... well you know.

Beer is considered one of the essential food groups in modern British cuisine, especially during football matches. In general, the beer at a British pub will be safer and more nutritious than the "food" served at a pub. This diet was incoroporated into the Uconn dining system, many Uconn students drink 50-90 beers a day while feasting on "beer battered fish/pub wedges." If you attend Uconn and don't drink enough beer you will be eaten by the scary "Abby Kennedy Monster". The Abby Kennedy monster feasts on small children and lives in a cave where caramel coats the floors and ceilings. Abby kennedy monster mostly growls and is last heard saying, "jabbba jabba abby kennedy snickers bar". Typical beer festivities at Uconn involve 5-10 guys "chilling" in a room with the door closed, nickleback playing, and of course a 30 rack of keystone or "natty ice". Baldwin Hall in North is known for the mass drug traffic which does include beer, in fact, baldwin hall has 35,000 shares of common stock from keystone and have seats on the board of directors. Unfortunately beer still doesn't make ugly asians attractive, sorry Wenisa. Beer has influenced construction at uconn, west campus most notably, engineers were obviously drunk when they created the dorms. It is rumored that a beer river runs under uconn, many construction workers climb into man holes to taste its delicious goodness. Many boats sail into Tequila Cove where they pay outrageous prices to drink the river. Currently the Uconn Police are investigating claims that drinking out of the river makes you more athletic after the football team all had a drink before the 2007 season. Doug Wiggins and Jim Calhoun were sent to the infirmary multiple times after spending too much time in the river. Recently, two basketball players on the UConn team have gone missing, as Gavin Edwards and Marcus Johnson have last reported to have "been hella bored and lookin for a party, yo" as said by gavin edwards. They reportedly stumbled into the river, where Gavin Edwards escaped, simply saying "Im soooo drunk right now". Marcus Johnson is still missing and has curiously, when questioned, the Coach Jim Calhoun simply said "Marcus who?", obviously inebriated, either that or in a psychotic state only attainable from hanging out with Doug Wiggins and Stanley Robinson on one of their "special car rides" see: marijuana . Beer is also the reason why the mens uconn basketball team enrolled in ARE 110: Agricultural Resource Economics 110, rumor has it they all signed up after drinking heavily in a dorm room in northwest campus. When reporters showed up at the class to validate this report, all members of the team had not showed up to the class..what a suprise. Later in the day Gavin Edwards was asked where he was at 4pm, he replied, "ughh...i was ughh...practicing my jump shot...?...yeah thats it."

History

Aaaawwww... he lost his body. Darn drunkie.

According to ancient scrolls, some Fat Eskimo In Canada invented a way to filter moose piss through a fish net and a sponge, and decided to call it beer which is Canadian for "Eh...Fuck it".

Inventor of beer is Finnish Urho Kekkonen. What we today know as beer was in times past simply known as the "Amber Nectar" (also called 'Piss of the gods'). The word beer originated in Australia in the second century AD.

The word beer comes from the term B'er. Prior to the second century AD, the monks of the time began to notice that there was a correlation to the consumption of Amber Liquid and the use of profanities and swearing. As the 'f' word meant "would you like to go out with me tonight" in those times, it wasn’t seen as swearing. This meant that most of the swear words of the day started with the letter 'B' (bitch, bastard, bugger, bum, ....).

It's taste is derived from the poison ivy plant, commonly grown and harvested in Iraq. It is made by taking the poison ivy and massasaging the roots with a putter. The juice is then filtered through dog poo paper and left to sit for seven months. After, they color the mold with a brown crayola and that's how the beer taste is made.

A person who swore a lot was known as a B'er. As monks were the only ones who could read and write, the pagans had no idea that these words started with a 'B' and so initially the term B'er was used within the elite monk environment, to be overheard by the altar boys.

Beer has helped fat guys get laid since 4,000 B.C.!

Culture

In Soviet Russia, ugly people sex YOU!!

In 1842, Louis Pasteur scientifically proved that beer possessed abilities to "help white men dance", and "help ugly people get laid". Since this remarkable discovery, beer has risen in prominence in worldwide culture, unfortunately leading to such excesses as the 1970s disco movement and beer pong.

No one can mention beer culture without thinking of sports -- especially the sport of gymnastics. Since Mary Lou Retton wore a Budweiser leotard in the 1984 Olympics, beer has become intertwined with the gymnastics culture, to the point where the pommel horse in the 2004 Olympics was shaped like a Michelob Ultra bottle. Fans of the Olympics are particularly enamored with the Stroh's Bowl, which features Stroh's and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans competing in gymanstic events such as the balance beam.

Beer Teeth

"It really works!!"

Perhaps the most common cause of yellow staining is beer. Studies have shown that ingestion of one or more beers per day leads to its incorporation into the tooth structure. The resulting appearance depends both on intensity of use and the brand of beer employed, Natural Light drinkers in particular seemingly the most affected. Beer drunk out of bottles can intensify the effect, especially stout lagers. The outcome is a mid to offensive yellowish stain affecting some of the teeth in the front of the beer drinker's mouth. Due to the permanent nature of these stains, many beer drinkers opt to remove the offending teeth, particularly in the American south and UK through the dental practice of full contact darts, full contact tiddley winks, and other homo-erotic sports such as American football.

Date Rape

The Chinese tried to duplicate the idea of Beer. This is an actual photo of actual import beer from actual China.

All men who frequent yacht clubs and dock parties are advised to be cautious when offered drinks by women. Beer is used by female predators to persuade hapless male victims to go home with them. Women need only persuade a man to consume a few of these "beers" and then ask him home for no-strings-attached sex, a simple approach that renders most men helpless.

After several beers, men will have sex with even unattractive women and sometimes other men, which is largely why so many big bitches haven't been executed yet. Often men awaken with only hazy memories of the night before, a horrible headache, and a vague feeling that something bad happened. Some really unfortunate men are even separated from their life's savings in a scam called a "relationship". In extreme cases, some females have even entrapped unsuspecting males into long-term debt slavery through a punishment called "marriage". Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam once beer is administered.

If you, or some man you know, has fallen victim to this insidious beer and the predatory women who administer it, rest assured: male support groups exist in every major city where you can discuss the ugly details of your encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys.

Or, for an easy alternative, you can just regain your manhood by spending a night with Your Best Friends Mom.

For the support group nearest you, look in the Yellow Pages under "Golf Courses" or "Pubs". Latvians are the most drinking nation in the galactic and they like to drink wery very much beer. "Latvians"

Other Unpleasant Side Effects

  • Failure in multiple automotive systems, namely the brakes, the steering wheel, and the gear stick, but oddly enough, not the turn signal and hazard lights.
Binge drinking can cause unpleasant side effects. This is actually Britney Spears at the Beers
  • Sex with ugly and/or fat women (not that there's anything wrong with that).
  • Beer Goggles, They May Look Good After Twelve Pints But Just Remember, You Have To Wake Up To Them The Next Day!
  • Sex with men. (please note the gender-neutral perspective)
  • Sex with men pretending to be women.
  • Sex with women pretending to be men.
  • You and her passing out during intercourse, and waking with your wang stuck in, what feels like a cold toasted cheese sandwich
  • Gaining the undeniable desire and ability to actually walk all the way home when all you really want to do is SLEEP IN THE GUTTER.
  • Eating household pets
  • Getting a zj from a common hood-rat
  • Unwanted children
  • Eating at Arby's
  • Eating snozzberries
  • Selling unwanted children for three more pints.
  • An irresistible affection for caramel corn.
  • A belly that will soon be your only friend
  • Inexplicable vomit and piss appearing on clothing, hair, and in cupboards. (Or the laundry basket).
  • Unspeakable stupidity.
  • Unwanted refinancing of your home.
  • Getting your v-card back.
  • A forty-five dollar tab at Taco Bell.
  • Messing your pants more frequently than usual
  • Forgetting everything that happened like knowing if you were stopped by the police or not.
  • Wondering if that was a 2-year old child or large raccoon that you ran over last night.
  • Losing the ability to walk, talk and drive a car.
  • Telling the nice policeman that the alphabet starts with M.
  • GGethsing on uncrylopedia and maksing stupid potstr whens u cannot tyupe,
  • Poor investment advice.
  • Nuclear reactions in the rectum
  • Exploding.
  • Somebody Actually Feeling Slightly Attracted To Your Mum.
  • Crashing during a Spring shoe race.
  • Trying to drink the Toilet BeerCan.
  • Attempting to have intercourse with randon objects on the sreet.
  • Attempting to have intercourse with random women on the dance floor
  • Asking if McDonald's also sells pants.
  • The slurring of your words when a policeman asks if you had been drinking.
  • Spending over a hundred dollars on KFC and demanding to see Colonel Sanders
  • Swimming naked with three hot female Swiss tourists, in a hotel swimming pool, that you are not staying at, in the centre of town, and not being able to get an erection when offered a female-female-female-male foursome in the pool
  • Memory loss, or worse, memory loss.
  • Putting a Hannah Montana song on your iPod/MP3 Player
  • waking up with a sore anus
  • having the strange urge to put crap on this site
  • Waking up with a Power Ranger glued to your private area.
  • Thinking you're tough enough to have a chat with those neo-nazis across the street.

International Toasts

Bottoms Up! - and tops down
  • Argentina: "vosotros somos unos pendejos" (Up, down, in the middle and inside)
  • Australia: "Anatha raund!"
  • Australia: "Estonia? Who gives a damn. Anatha round! And pass us a bundy while your at it, Shazza"
  • Australia: "Oi Stevo! Dave bought another round"
  • Austria: "Brost!"
  • Belgium: "Santé, Spasj, PINTJES DRINKEUH, Ad Fundum, TANKEEE (geraardsbergen"
  • BOSNIA : " ko neće Ž mi ga J !!!!"(those who won't cheers we fuck up the ass )
  • Brazil: "Puta que pariu"
  • Brussels: "Schol!"
  • California: "But I've already had one?"
  • Canada: "Chug Chug Chug!"
  • Canada: What's French for toast, eh?
  • Catalonia: "Salut, i força al Canut!"
  • Chile: "Salud mierda, alza la chela conchetumare" (chela = beer)
  • China: "Rice wine pussies."
  • Croatia: "Živjeli (Cheers)"
  • Cyclopsia: <sounds of broken glass>
  • Czech: <Fitting toast for a beer is a another beer, which has to be preceded by another beer, which....> - This explains lot about Czech culture.
  • Czech: "Na Vaše! Vlastní si ničit nebudu!" (Polite. Suitable for official meetings)
  • Czech: "Ať chladí!"
  • Denmark: "Skål!"
  • Denmark: "Bund eller bøsse!" (bottoms up or (you're) gay)
  • Denmark: "Bund eller resten i håret" (bottoms up, or the rest goes in your hair)
  • Dutch: "Worst!" (= "Saucage!")
  • England: "You're barred!"
  • England: "Fancy a pint? Buy us one aswell will ya"
  • England: "Psshhh... Lightweights."
  • Estonia: "May you always remember to never forget"
  • Estonia: "Käi vittu türajüri!" (Have a good un')
  • Finland: Kippis! (Cheers!)
  • Finland: Hölökynkölökyn! (Just pissed Finnish people shouting)
  • Finland: Pohjanmaan kautta!
  • Finland: Perseet olalle!
  • Finland: Vittu ku on pieni tuoppi! (Fuck, this is a small glass!)
  • Sweden: Finland shut the @!#% up and drink your beer.
  • Finland: We will shut up when you stop singing those awful drinking songs
  • France: "This is not le' wine! Sacre bleu!!!"
  • Germany: "Heil Hitler!"
  • Greece: We don't drink beer! Only wine ;/
  • Holland: "Proost!" or "Bonnie st. Claire!"
  • Holland: "Biertje?"
  • Hungarian: "Egészségedre" (literally To your health)
  • Hungarian: "Fenékiiig!"
  • IRG: "Baah, baah baah, baah"
  • Iceland: "Skál!!"
  • India: "Chak De Phatte!"
  • India: "Teri Bhen di ****!"
  • India: "Burraaaa...!"
  • Iran: "Don't shoot!"
  • Ireland: "sláinte" or the English translation "Fuck The Brits and bang the women!"
  • Ireland: "Erin Go Bragh" (Especially on St. Patrick's Day)
  • Ireland: "Bring it on I'll drop kick yer arse!"
  • Israel: "Me ois vaxen svi a tsibele miten cup in vant."
  • Israel: "Lek Cha Hiim!! guldshtar..."
  • Israel: "Fucking Arabs fucked up the moment!"
  • Italy: "Salute!"
  • Japan: "Bonsai!"
  • Klingon: "Hab SoSlI' Quch!" (Today is a good day to die.)
  • Latvia: "(4 of them) Nu!; Nu tad!; Nu tad nu!; Nu tad nu par to pasu!"
  • Lithuania: "I sveikatėlę!!"
  • Lithuania: "... Arunai.. Arunai.. Grok."
  • Martinican Republic: "!@#$%^&*()___+"
  • Martinican Repbulic: " =May we smash this glass in the face of the brewer!"
  • Mexico: "Viva Mexico, Cabrones!"
  • Mime Republic: *clink*
  • New Zealand: "Stop shagging sheep and grub e buur"
  • Ninjafastia: "Masturba!"
  • Norway: "Sug og svelg, god helg!"
  • Norway: "Ronk og pul, god jul!"
  • Peru: "Secatelo en prima, webon!"
  • Peru: "Chupa, chupa, chupa!"
  • Poland: "Na zdrowie, kurwa mać!"
  • Poland: "Pijemy, bo się sciemnia!"
  • Poland: "Chluśniem, bo uśniem!"
  • Portland: "I brewed this, you know."
  • Porto: "Receita da Casa Melo"
  • Portugal: "Super Sagres from Cintra"
  • Portugal: "E vai a cima e vai a baixo e vai ao centro e vai ao sexo vai para dentro!"
  • Portugal: "Bota!"
  • Puerto Rico: "We dont speak spanish!"
  • Romania: "Noroc!"
  • Romania: "Multa bafta coae!"
  • Romania: "Sa luam bacu'!"
  • Romania: "Sanatate!"
  • Russia" "Na *hic*... Na *hic... Aaah, fuck it!.. *hic*"
  • Russia: "Oodim Zarobi!" (Actual)
  • Russia: Crap, this isn't vodka!
  • Russia: "In Sovjet Russia , beer toasts YOU!!"
  • Scotland:"Where in the nigger is Carmen Sandiago?"
  • Scotland: "You know what this beer needs? Whisky."
  • Serbia: "Живели!"
  • Sicily: "Minchia!"
  • Nowhere: "_________"
  • Oostvoorne: Ain't no beer like Bosm Black Beer!
  • Wallonia: A ta femme, à tes chevaux et à ceux qui l' montent
Watch out for that first step.
  • Sierra Leone: "Someone has toast?! WHERE?!?!"
  • Slovenia: "Na zdravje!"
  • Students: "Prosit senior, prosit corona, Ad Fundum"
  • Sweden: "Botten upp!"/"Sug För helvete kärring, det är ingen trumpet!"
  • Ukraine: "Будмо! (...до холєри!)"
  • The Vatican: "Amen."
  • Martinican Republic: "WTF R U SYN?...@"
  • Jackistan: "Shut the F*** up Martini!"
  • Martinican Republic: "You startin a war here...Bitch?"
  • United States: "Where the hell is Budweiser anyway?"
  • United States: "I love busch"
  • United States: "Dubya"
  • Australia: Cadbury (antiperistalsis-prone) yanks...Cheers mate
  • Wisconsin: "Eh, whens da Packer game start den?
  • Cybertron: "Roll out!"
  • 日本:"ニッポンイチ!" (What the *%&#  ?!)
  • Hyrule:YAAAAAAH!!!!!!

Traditional Toast

May we feel good now,
May we get laid later,
But may we never have to wake up next to a fat chick.

A.E. Housman on Beer

  Why, if ’tis dancing you would be,           
There’s brisker pipes than poetry.  
Say, for what were hop-yards meant, 
Or why was Burton built on Trent?   
Oh many a peer of England brews 
Livelier liquor than the Muse,          
And malt does more than Milton can  
To justify God’s ways to man.   
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink  
For fellows whom it hurts to think: 
Look into the pewter pot            
To see the world as the world’s not.    
And faith, ’tis pleasant till ’tis past:    
The mischief is that ’twill not last.   
Oh I have been to Ludlow fair   
And left my necktie God knows where,            
And carried half way home, or near, 
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:    
Then the world seemed none so bad,  
And I myself a sterling lad;    
And down in lovely muck I’ve lain,          
Happy till I woke again.    
Then I saw the morning sky: 
Heigho, the tale was all a lie; 
The world, it was the old world yet,    
I was I, my things were wet,            
And nothing now remained to do  
But begin the game anew.
Please grab me some swiss cheese at the store,
And also,
Some lettuce.


Be good this weekend sweety! Love you lots!
~Mom

Religion

Sister Sally Fields, the spirtutal leader and Teutonic Crusader of the Holy Order of Beer.
Beers Prayer
Our Lager,
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head
and forgive us our spillages
as we forgive those that spill against us
and lead us not into incarceration.
But deliver us from hang-overs,
for thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager
forever and ever
Barmen!
Bier Her
Bier her! Bier Her!
Oder ich fall'um, junchle!
Bier her! Bier Her!
Oder ich fall'um!
Soll das Bier in Keller liegen
Und ich hier die Ohnmacht kriegen?
Bier her! Bier Her!
Oder ich fall'um!
Litanny of Beer
Beer is the Mind Chiller,
Beer is the small death that brings forth total obfuscation,
I will Face My Beer,
I will Permit it to pass over and through me,
Hence with its passing from my body,
I will turn the inner eye and see its Path across the sky,
When all the beer is gone,
There Will be nothing Left,
Only I will Remain

The Facts

Beer Bottles can actually attack people!

Without it, You would not exist. Sorry but its true, how else did your dad become your dad? Do you you really think your mum would sleep with him without the help of beer. Or even your dad needing it to find your mum attractive. Its a delicate world in some scene.

Beer always finds a way to knock itself over. Bottles of beer are specially designed to have a higher gravitational attraction, thus any and all items in their vicinity will make contact and knock them over. Beer does this because it mates with the floor, making lots of little beers unless cleaned up on time. This is how Heineken is made.

See also

Under influence of beer.
Bourbon: The official drink of minors.
Where's the beer?!


Preceded by:
Evolution
Best Thing in Existence
4,000 BC - 3,000 BC
Succeeded by:
Boats



This article uses material from the "Beer" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

Wackypedia

Up to date as of February 07, 2010

From Wackypedia

Beer the thick paste found under democratic types is a useless placebo ingradient in lager. Beer makes the user temporarily sane leading to their downfall. It can also lead to stampage on the rampage and collaborates with poo.

Epileptipsy

Frequent chilled abuse can lead to epilepsy or it can lead you somewhere else. To avoid the bananaskin of vengeance play pokemon and use oysters to ward off evil spirits amongst the dreaded spatulation effect.

POPOPOPOPOPOPOin the NONONONO

Driking paint leads to a orienteering deficiency. Cutting fringes off of policemen will irritate them no end but will not stop beer's relentless march towards gingervitus.




This article uses material from the "Beer" article on the Wackypedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

Cybernations

Up to date as of January 31, 2010
(Redirected to Bonus Resources article)

From the Cyber Nations Wiki, the wiki dedicated to the Cyber Nations Game.

Bonus Resources (BR) are additional resources you can gain for your nation that can only be obtained through +resource links. Some bonus resources are more easily attainable than others (they require fewer resource links). There are currently 11 bonus resources in the game.

List of Bonus Resources

  • Image:Affluent.GIFAffluent Population - Increases population +5%. Requires Fine Jewelry, Fish, Furs, and Wine. (updated in March by admin, previously was +2 happiness)
  • Image:Asphalt.GIF Asphalt - Decreases infrastructure upkeep cost -5%. Requires Construction, Oil, and Rubber.
  • Image:Construction.GIF Construction - Reduces infrastructure cost - 5% and raises aircraft limit +10. Requires aluminum, lumber, iron, marble, and a technology level greater than 5.
  • Image:jewelry.GIF Fine Jewelry- Increases population happiness + 3. Requires Gold, Silver, Gems, and Coal. (updated in March by admin, previously was +1.5).
  • Image:radiation_cleanup.GIF Radiation Cleanup - Improves nations environment by 1. Removes 1 day of nuclear anarchy. Reduces global radiation effect on an individual nation -50% in CN:TE. Requires Construction, Microchips, Steel, and a technology level greater than 15.
  • Image:scholar.GIF Scholars - Increases citizen income by $3.00. Requires Lumber, Lead and a literacy rate greater than 90%.

Effects

This table takes into account bonuses of all normal resources, but not the rewards of prerequisite bonus resources. For example, if one were to have fine jewelry and affluent population, they would look at the totals on the table for affluent population, and only add the +1.5 happiness granted by fine jewelry.

Bonus Resource Number Basic Resources Used Population Happiness Income per citizen/day Overall Money (income + happiness x $2) Population Increase (%) Technology Cost (%) Infrastructure Cost (%) Infrastructure Upkeep cost Cost (%) Soldier Cost ($) Soldier Count Environment Land* (%)
Image:Affluent_Population.GIF Affluent Population 7 4.5 10 20 13% - -4% - - 8% -1 10%G
Image:Asphalt.GIF Asphalt 6 1.5 - 3 - - 12% -5% - 30% -1 20%P
Image:Automobiles.GIF Automobiles 7 4.5 - 9 - - -14% -18% - 38% -2 35%P
Image:Beer.GIF Beer 4 4.5 - 9 8% - -7% -8% - 20% 10% 5%P
Image:Construction.GIF Construction 4 - - - - - -12% -18% - 20% - -
Image:Fastfood.GIF Fast Food 4 5 - 10 11.5% - - - -0.5 15% - -
Image:Fine_Jewelry.GIF Fine Jewelry 4 7.5 6.5 21.5 - -5% -4% - - 8% -1 15%P
Image:Microchips.GIF Microchips 3 3.5 7 14 - -13% - - -0.5 10% -1 -
Image:Radiation_Cleanup.GIF Radiation Cleanup 8 1.5 3 6 - -5% -11% -18% -0.5 38% -1,+10% 15%P
Image:Steel.GIF Steel 2 - - - - - -6% -10% - 8% -1 15%P
Image:Scholar.GIF Scholars 2 - 3 3 - - - -8% -0.5 - - -

*P stands for based on purchased land, G the natural growth of land.


This article uses material from the "Bonus Resources" article on the Cybernations wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

OpenWetWare

Up to date as of February 28, 2010
(Redirected to Beer Lab article)

From OpenWetWare

Image:C elegans and Yeast.png

Home        Internal        Lab Members        Publications        Research       

Welcome to Beer Lab!

This Site is currently under development.

Please wait patiently while the lab page is updated.

Please wait patiently while the lab page is updated.

Recent updates to the Beer Lab








Got something to say? Make a comment.
Your name
Your email address
Message