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Call of Duty is a WWII and WWIII franchise that just hit modern era in Call of Duty 4, made by Infinity Ward and enhanced by Twoarch (uhum, I mean Treyarch) and owned by Activision (LUCKY BASTARDS).

To be honest if you want a game that will flip you from human to cow then you’ve found the right place mate Call of Duty is a game of many ages, the thing is it will slowly brainwash you into rapeing yourelf and then killing all your friends and family and then you come back as a ghost and spill "ectoplasm"(jizz) everywhere.

"Hey, i killed Paul Jackson and a bunch of random marines in CoD4 and random dudes in CoD MW2! and with a toy missle." Thats why toys are deadly

Contents

Call of Duty Games

WARNING those who have CODhornyness syndrome, there is a special COD tissue inside for those who jizz over COD also it means you don't have a life and is most probably an american eating Macys and will stay a virgin forever. Since Hitler killed the jews and arabs, infinity Ward has been very sucessful in making many games which replicate this epic event, where you run around using ur supah laserz to 'pwn' each other. If you were to ask Infinity Ward, Hitler was very successful in helping them to make each game, excactly the fucking same as the last.

If you haven't played COD before, heres a taster of the conversations (American) - "OMG UR NOOB UR ONLY FIRST PRESTIGE 32" (English) - "THATS COZ I'M NOT A FAT FAG WHO FUCKING EATS MCDONALDS ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND GO AND GET A LYF!" (American) - "WHY DON'T YOU DRINK YOUR TEA BRITISH LOSER!" (English) - "WELL CAN YOU SEE UR FUCKING DICK OVER ALL THAT FAT? OR EVEN GET OFF YOUR CHAIR?" (American) - "WELL LET's WHOSE BOSS WHEN I WUP UR ASS IN AN 1 ON 1 CAGE MATCH" (English) - "THAT's WHAT UR MUM SAID LAST NIGHT!" (American) - "MY MUMS DEAD" (English) - "SHE SEEMED FINE LAST NIGHT" AMERICAN_FAG39 HAS SIGNED OUT

thats the americans thinking there so solid heres the kids who are blatantly 3 years old (squeaky kid) " AAH he's using noob tube with heartbeat" " AAH camper" then he starts singing some music which of course are nusery rhymes (YOU) - "OH DICKHEAD SHUT THE FUCK UP!" (squeek-maestro) "err. no" (U) - "Y DONT U GROW SOME BALLS COZ THERE PROBABLY SO HIGH THERE ON YOUR FOREHEAD!" (squeek king) - "your not funny , my balls have dropped and i have deep voice" (U) - "how old are you?" (squeeker) - "16" (U) - "Bullshit - if your balls drop you'll be blind" SQUEAKY_3YR_OLD has left the game

Single Player

You start as an S.A.S.S (Special Assholes Sex Service) recruit in Britain, yes britain not fucking america, u fat bastard. You are trained by a guy, and then another guy who further tells you to jump off a ledge and run around a wooden half-constructed speedboat with broken legs. If you do it in under 1 second you unlock an achievement.Then you go over to a random screen that doesn't do anything.


Next Mission you go on the real speedboat mission with the most stunning, impressively useless graphics and sound ever. (This is when your computer slows down and crashes. If you want to avoid this, please skip this level. The speedboat then gets attacked by enemy T-72s and you get trapped in the boat. An emotional scene takes place here, where one guy drows this other guy, and this guy shoots him and you can see his brains splattered all over a wall. You activate the Last Stand perk, and everyone then lolz at you, leaves you there and runs to the evacuation zone. You manage to find it in the last second and jump on the helicopter, your hands manage to grab the back of the heli. But Gaz, being the asshole he is, steps on your hand and you fall. Just when you thought all hope was lost and you need to restart the mission, Superman appears, catches you and puts you back on the helicopter. You land a big kick on Gaz's groin and the mission ends.

Kind of disturbing.

After a few missions as Soap Mcwashurhands, and Paul Jackass, you go into a flashback and take control of Captain Price (Lieutenant in the flashback) during WWII in Pripyat fighting the Germans dressed up as Russians a stupid Operation Flashpoint rip-off mission. You have to assassinate Hitler (dressed up as an ugly guy named Zakhaev) with a big sniper rifle together with Captain MacMellan, but you miss, blowing his arm off (even if you shoot him dead cuntin the face). MacMillan gets pissed at you and says the word "fuck" so loud a helicopter spots you. MacMillan then orders you to shoot the heavily armored helicopter with your weak-ass sniper rifle while he rappels down the building. Gosh what a bastard! Soon, you fire a sniper bullet so nicely timed, that it deflects the incoming hellfire back to the helicopter. The helicopter explodes, but not before firing all its remaining weapons at you. :(

Multifuck, Foursome Orgasm

In Multiplayer, the more skilled you are, the more unfair the advantage you get

If you get killing sprees, you are given special skills to make the match even more unbalanced.

CoD Vibrators on the butthole

Call of Duty for women. Can also unlock tactial iron and silenced dishwasher.

CoD world at war has the simple tag line "War Like You've Never Experienced Before, Except in Call of Duty 4, the game which , 95% of people who have played this game have played, but if you're one of the 5% who haven't played CoD4 and you haven't played Cod 1,2 or 3 before and any medal of honor game or any other war bases FPS and have never been to a real war before then this might possibly just be war like you have never experienced it before, but probably not, so go home and play your sissy Dragon Age: Origins, n00b.

Single player (Alaskan Pipeline)

The 19th expansion of the Call of Duty series. It takes place in the Pacific and in Europe as the Americans and Russians. Lots o people die and you see carnage and stuff. During this high paced action,

The High Paced Action!!!

Yes, it has high paced action to a point of no return. Don't know why I said that. Well, the high paced action includes scenes that are way too violent for a call of duty game, and cussing to no extent. Here is the definition of High paced action-

High Paced Action- ‘‘‘high paced action is action that is OVER 9000!!!" That was the definition of High Paced Action.

Now, about the game-shit bollox licker the game starts out when you are a Pvt. in the marines. You are dizzy; you look up and see a Japanese guy looking at you. In the background you see a guy being beat with a stick and another guy jacking-off- uhum... I mean getting licked. Not the licking kind of licks the punching kind of lick. You know, when you get beat up sometimes its called licking? Anyhoo,

The Japanese guy gets up and walks over to the guy with the stick. He says something and then the marine shoots sperm at him. Wat? Not sper... o... uhum... well... he spits blood at him. Not... ha... anyway... the Japanese guy get pissed, and puts burns the guy's balls with a cigarette- not his bal- oooooh. God I need to pay more attention to this game. His EYE with the cigarette. Then the other Japanese dude kills the guy with a knife. Not a butter knife, which would be way too painful. Then, the guy is about to kill you, but he doesn't because he dies from a marine really randomly that was on a search and rescue mission. The Game is so high in paced action

That’s exclusively the 1st level of-

Call of Duty World at War

Multiplayer

Multiplayer had to be fixed up to be played in World War II. For Example, instead of Helicopters, Airstrikes, and UAVs, there was-

  • 3 kill streak- Rekon Armour (with flaming helmet)
  • 5 kill streak- Death Star strike (Only available if the Death Star is in range)
  • 7 kill streak- Godzilla for the Japanese team and the Cloverfield Monster for the Marines.
  • 10 kill streak- Hitler and Churchill's Mixed Mud Wrestling Tag Team
  • 15 kill streak - A Playboy magg
  • 25 Kill streak - Ability to shut off your xbox and get a life
  • -8 Kill streak - You fuck yourself
  • 9000+ Kill streak - You can now call yourself a fucktard, but hey, it's over 9000?!

Classes include MP40 with dildo, Thompson with round balls, Type100 with vibrating bell end, PPsh-41 and STD44. These seem to be the only classes that exist on World at War multiplayer.

Multiplayer now includes weapon upgrades like proton-canons and mini-nukes. These are rewarded at rank 103, and 104. Unlike the Call of Duty 4 multiplayer, you now can ride in vehicles, like the Tank Cat and the new Fuckaveel Zeppelin, which shoots lightning bolts from Mel Gibson's ass.

Treyarch has recently released an update that is available for this game on Xbox Live Marketplace only. They claimed they forgot about the PS3. The update is for multiplayer only. The newest part is the Kill Streaks for the Japanese. When you get a 9-Kill streak, you may call in Jackie Chan. Whoever called in Jackie Chan gets to be him for a certain amount of time. Controversy arose as people claimed Jackie Chan was Chinese, Treyarch responded by saying that they had thought he was actually Hawaiian, and that they deeply were sorry for eating everybody's Cheese Whiz.

Rumored Katana

Treyarch had planned to release a Katana into Call of Duty: World at War. The weapon failed to make it in the final cut (LOL!?!), because it was deemed to overpowering and offensive. Reason was because you yell BANZAI and then get shot by an SMG. Treyarch did not want to encourage the Japanese audience to run around with bayonets like their great, great, great, great, great, grant, grandfather did. Although, it was honorable and courageous, warfare had advance and now tactics are sitting and camping with M16s and calling in Tank Support and air strikes to win the war. To make up for it Treyarch added a new weapon called the Bowie Knife. But really someone just thought that the game was called, "Call of Duty: Civil War so Treyarch fails.


New Weapons Upgrades:

  • Vagina - (The First And Last Time You'll Ever See One) Unlocked At 10th Prestige lvl 15999 (Or 25 Killstreak)
  • Puppy - (Cute little puppy rips your enemies testes off. Instant win))- Level Jesus
  • Lag Switch - (invincible for a time, saves you from possibly electrocuting yourself with an actual lag switch (cool kids item, you will know if you play.))- Level 150
  • Mini-Nuke Launcher - (yes, it is shaped like an ass)- level 104
  • Proton Attachable Cannon - Level 103
  • Hitler's Demise (A Mustache Shaped bayonet) - level 100
  • Quad Damage
  • Gandhi's Nose (A ball you put at the end of your gun) - level 93
  • Chainsaw Attachable Chainsaw (Gears of War Chainsaw) - level 88
  • Chief (Master Chief comes to fight with you for 60 sec.) - level 80
  • Grapple (get to high places, fast! shaped like a penis) - level 75
  • Furry Bunny (distracts the other players wile you kill them) - level 70
  • Gangsters (Gang members roll up in their escalades and perform drive-bys...When you are Japanese and use this the gang members are Asian)-"level 69"
  • Zombies! (Zombies come to aid you) - level 65
  • Torch (attachable flame-thrower) - level 60
  • The Blob (makes a huge STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON MY NUCKKKAAAA secs, can catch those that are masturbating) - level 20
  • Big Gun (makes your gun unrealistically big, and no, not your penis) - level 18
  • Communist (turns the player's skin red) - level 16
  • Sniper Handle Increasing Tracker (S.H.I.T upgrade) - level 15
  • Halo Battle Rifle (Halo's Battle Rifle for use in Costume Weapons, sucks balls though) - level 13
  • Knife (brutally kill your enemies with a butter knife) - level 10
  • THE ALL POWERFULL DESTROYER OF ALL ENEMIES GUN! (Makes the user 90% slower, range is decreased, accuracy is decreased, 90% damage decrease, lowers life every 2 seconds. What? Why does it have such a good name? Well, you know that it sucks, but n00bs don't know that! :) - level 5
  • [[Bob Dylan] bob dylan comes to sing and no one can understand him then the enemy teams heads explode then implode-"level 0"

That’s all of the Upgrades in Call of Duty World at War.

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2

Modern Warfare 2 is the 6th uninstallemt to the Call of Duty, here you get to be bossed around by soapy rather than play him for most of the game. While positive reviews where observed by critics, any gamer worth even a fraction of some salt will know that MW2 really does stand for Modern Warfail 2. The singleplayer campaign will let you gun down innocent civilians before getting picked off by about a dozen enemies. Although everyone knows that it's the multiplayer that is what Call of Duty get it's name from.

In Modern Warfare 2 Multiplayer you are treated to lag, hackers, little wingey 11 yr olds that will call you a hacker, lag, frequent crashes, lag, glitches, lag, host migration fails just to name a few (did I mention lag??) Of course on the one in a million chance you actually play a game that is relatively lag free and you manage to rack up a 25 killsteak, the game will treat you to another host migration which will inevitably fail, preventing you from launching your prized nuke. If by some stretch of the imagination, you were actually successful in launching your nuke and you end the game with a big bang, you will be most likely called a hacker by the wingey 11 yr olds, or get your ass handed to you the next match by the level 70 prestige 10 hackers. To make matters worse, VAC will make sure that the hackers get plenty of fun owning legitimate players like you and me before finally deciding to get up and swing the ban-hammer, only to have them pop back up like gophers 5 minutes later.

Tom Clancy's Call of Duty 8 the End of WWIII's End War of Wars

Tom Clancy's Call of Duty 8 The End of WWIII's EndWar of Wars
Cover art of TCCoD8TEoWWIII'sEWoW
Developer Infinity Wad and Red Storm Rising
Release Date 2012
Genre Third Person Shooter/RTS/RPG/First Person Shooter/Tactical shooter jk
Platforms Xbox 360, Playstation. Yes! no Wii!
Rating M, for Manchuria.
Would Dave Chapelle play it? You wish

Tom Clancy's Call of Duty 8 The End of WWIII's EndWar of Wars 23rd installment of the WWII/Modern hit franchise.

This is a pre-sequel to Tom Clancy’s Endwar. The End of the World is here, and there is only one man that can save us... The Chosen One. You play as The Chosen One, which has to save the world from the Evil Villain.

Devastated by the news of his whole family dying, he ran away from the radiated areas of California, and joined the Military. During Medical evaluations in boot camp, the discovery superhuman abilities were, well, discovered. This is where the story takes off.

3 years later, and America is at war with Russia/Canada and England in WWX, The Endwar to end all wars.

Dildos of Interest

There are 3 Fractions in the game are The Order of England, United Republic of America (URA), and Russian Republic/The United Canada pigs of Russia (UCpR). Also the Southern Heros of Intigrated Taiwan. But they are neutral.

The Treaty of Boston, 2087, ended WWVIII (8), and gave up some land to the UK, even though America didn’t like it (hell, you wouldn’t like it either...). In three, USA decided to take back the west, and launched an attack. This is where the WWIX started. Russia just decided they wanted to go to war for fun. Wouldn’t want to miss out, now.

USA in the year 2087, after the Treaty of Boston was signed by USA and the UK (also Russia, because they wanted to...)

See Also

Roach comes back to life and finds out he has no penis.


This article uses material from the "Call of Duty" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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