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Up to date as of February 05, 2010

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Dennis Kucinich's wife, pictured here with Dennis Kuncinich's wife's husband, who, although a foot shorter than the six-foot tall Goddess, inexplicably grew 18 inches for this photograph

Dennis Kucinich's wife may be the hottest wife or mistress not associated with Tiger Woods who has ever walked the halls on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., according to The Hill newspaper's centerfold section and presidential historian Doris Kearns Goodwin. "Even I think she's hot," says Goodwin, "and I haven't been with a woman in years."


Dennis Kucinich's wife's Early life

Hot. Her London neighbors thought she was hot, her relatives thought she was smokin', the mailman, delivery person, and all the stars in the sky thought "This girl is hot. She is so hot that she will marry a movie star and probably will take up Scientology".

Infant and Primary School

Then, upon entering Year two (the school would not allow her to attend early infant school, saying it would have disrupted the classrooms and the headmaster's office), her hotness did not diminish, but increased, sometimes on a daily basis. As the years came and went, and Mother Nature continued to carve Her masterpiece from flesh and bone, Dennis Kucinich's wife looks stunned and enchanted the growing crowd of British onlookers. Photographs taken from a distance were sold door-to-door in her neighborhood, and soon nationally and throughout Europe.

Secondary School and College

More of the same, but, Goddess forgive me, even hotter. And six foot tall! This walking bundle of light grew to be six foot tall!


And redheaded! Six foot tall, hot, and redheaded!

Move to the United States

Dennis Kucinich's wife moved to the United States after England, the rest of Europe, and even India (where she worked at one of Mother Theresa's pet orpanages) no longer proved a challenge. Dennis Kucinich's wife had graced the castles of Kings and bedecked the homes of commoners, had already gone out of her way to sleep with her first man (East Indian pop singer Bono of the group "Me Too?", but she didn't like it), and needed the adventure of the New World to hold her attention on this realm of consciousness. Then, on a moonstruck afternoon, she met the man who would become Dennis Kucinich's wife's husband, and they both lived happily everafter on a cloud of unicorn breath.


Dennis Kucinich's wife's husband is a vegan (one who does not push corpses or other bodily substances of animals into their pie-hole), and, like most vegans, has a hot and smoking babe, you betcha' O Lord above, give-out-a-whoop-lookin'-at-that, does she have a sister or a niece, surely Goddess broke the mold when She made this one, there, done, for a mate. Unknown to Dennis Kucinich's wife's husband, she has a secret stash of slim-jims hidden in the meat drawer of their custom-made Sony 5000 Refrigerator, and knows, deep inside, that this hidden habit is what keeps her hot.

Tongue piercing

Yes. She has one.

Get me a glass of water, please, before I faint. Thank you, that helped. Now, where was I, oh yes. . .

Future plans

Dennis Kucinich's wife plans to travel the world in the near future, shining her light upon the teeming masses of the seven continents (although the teeming masses of Antartica are mostly penguins). She will be joined on this long planned pilgramage-to-the-human-race by singer Bono (whom she now thinks wasn't so bad after all, and is willing to give him another romp), Buffy Summers, Tiger Woods, and Dennis Kucinich's wife's husband's brother-in-law's best friend's roomate, Joey.

Dennis Kucinich's wife's Mother, pictured relaxing in the Grand Reading Room at the Library of Congress during a recent visit, causing widespread Capitol Hill speculation about genetics and the healthy British air.

Dennis Kuchinich's wife's Mysterious Allure

In a 2009 conference held at the University of Indiana at Bloomington entitled "What Makes Dennis Kucinich's wife So Hot?", scholars from across North America tried to answer the symposium's premise. Panels ranged from "Dennis Kuchinich's wife's Scent" to "Dennis Kucinich's wife's Heritage Mixed With Dennis Kucinich's wife's Scent mixed with Dennis Kucinich's wife's Alabaster Skin", and from "Dennis Kuchinich's wifes Measurements and their relationship to the Pytagerem Golden Triangle" to "What Does Dennis Kucinich's wife See in Dennis Kuninich's wife's Husband, and What in God's Name Can I do to be More like Dennis Kuchinich's wife's Husband?"

After a three-day weekend of lectures, break-away sessions, and disscussions at the conferences' many in-room parties, the conclusion of the assembled scholars was that Dennis Kucinich's wife has a "mysterious allure" undefinable by academia standards.

See Also

This article uses material from the "Dennis Kucinich's wife" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.


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