The Fool Wiki

Disney: Wikis


Note: Many of our articles have direct quotes from sources you can cite, within the Wikipedia article! This article doesn't yet, but we're working on it! See more info or our list of citable articles.

Uncyclopedia

Up to date as of February 05, 2010

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Disney.
Disney's earliest classic, Steamboat Ozzy.

Walt Disney (10 B.C. - Current), a self-proclaimed furry and pedophile, merged all of his hobbies together to create an industry that has entertained/trained non-Jewish children since the beginning of time. He was thought to have died in 1966, but it turned out that he had decided for financial reasons to amputate his head and have it hooked up to a life-support system (in order to save money). It is highly theorized that he is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, along with Elvis Presley. He is actually the clone of Errol Flynn. He is secretly affiliated with a pimping group and a robot singer named John.The most popular representation (basically the Hitler of the company) is Mickey Mouse—an intelligent loving disease-carrying vermin that Walt Disney thought of after a night of S&M clubs, acid, and a Friends marathon. Mickey Mouse has constantly been redesigned to reinvent himself many times over the years, adopting pseudonyms that play on his initials of "M.M." These personas include: Marilyn Manson, Eminem, and a brief cross-dressing stint as Minnie Mouse.

Contents

The Good Times

Before the computer-animated, over-hyped, and fart joke-filled entertainment currently produced by Disney after its unholy sexual union with Pixar, there was a time where Disney films were animated correctly —by underpaid, ready-to-go-postal animators and starving pre-teen Chinese boys who were kicked out of a Nike factory.

Here are some Disney "classics":
A woman doing what she's supposed to.

Cocaine and the Seven Stages of Addiction

Dr. Seuss ordered that the original title be changed because it was politically incorrect and forced her friend Dopey into a serious drug-induced depression. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was designed to make fun of the handicapped, and white people. She also had sex with Cinderella. Constantly. On camera.This film is one of Disney's first hardcore pornographic films. The deliciously sexist story involves a character who is like any other woman: she's stupid and has a thing for midgets. After being kidnapped and gang raped by a group of dwarfs (friends), Snow White (now known to the porn community as Rain Blue) is forced into prostitution.Day in and day out of abortions she voluntarily falls under some random level seven necromancer's power and, by the end of the story, must be raped by Prince Charming to come back to life. However, upon waking, he finds out how much of a skank she is and opts to take the witch (who has died) over her, finally succumbing to his necrophelial instincts.Coming in 2009: A real life motion picture in which Rain Blue (Snow White), played by Samuel L. Jackson, kills her adopted mother and sets up a hidden webcam in order to catch Charming's awesomely disgusting sexual escapades, for eventual sale on the Cambodian black market.

The Little Mermaid

Main article: The Little Mermaid

Proof that all fat people are evil; the main character is a little mermaid girl named Ariel (played by Samuel L. Jackson) who never listens to her male superiors and pays for being such a dumb ranga by contracting a vicious case of crabs —Jamaican ones, that speak english and can sing. An evilly-fat goth octopus chick Ursula (played by Rosie O' Donnell) has magic and an online-undergraduate degree from DeVry in biomechanical engineering; Ariel visits her to request legs, so that she can successfully have sex with normal people. As an experiment (re: just to see what happens), Ursula first gives Ariel demonically-inspired tentacles (this fails because the tentacles immediately begin ravishing Ariel, as seen in the Japanese unrated version), and later, legs. Ariel's new biomechanically-designed legs (in true Darth Vader fashion) are screwed on with a pneumatic drill while some fisherman Ariel met in a chatroom, "Eric," eyes her up and down lustily as she dramatically-yells "noooooooooooo" for no reason (being, at the time, completely tranqued out on OxyContin and cheap Gin.) Ariel v.2, with legs, is now eligible to join the land people; she is forcefully introduced by her new computer boyfriend into his sexist society, where she pumps out kids, is barefoot in the kitchen, and at one point actually uses the corpse of one of her former friends (a singing Jamaican sea-sponge) to scrub skid-marks from one of her new master's tighty-whities. While crying, and drinking heavily.This experience ultimately teaches her that she should have shut her trap and stayed underwater, where everything is way more fun. Once totally entrenched on land, she becomes commonly referred by her bitchy neighbors to as the "little mer-slut." She secretly likes it.

Uncle Remus

Main article: Uncle Remus
“The funniest Disney character since Sunflower the Black Centaur!”
~ Raves the LA Times

Aladdin

Main article: Aladdin

A film created during Disney's "Let's try Islam" phase. The film was originally supposed to chronicle the life of the Prophet Mohammed, but studios decided to change the character's name after Walt Disney was beheaded by Muslim extremists. (Fun Fact:His head was later frozen.) The story features two typical Islamists, Aladdin and his arranged-wife, Jasmine who live in Aggrabah, a city ruled by the King of Aggrabah, the Sultan. Jafar, the bad guy, and clearly a stereotype of Jebus, coerces Aladdin into undertaking a quest for the Holy Grail, however, along the way, the poor, youthful adventurer discovers a magical lamp which contains the trapped essence, in the guise of a coked-up genie. During the movie, Jasmine allows Aladdin to have unrestricted access to her mouth, thus creating AIDS. The genie grants Aladdin various benefits, but sadly cannot give Jasmine to Aladdin, as he can't create virgins in this world (although he promises Aladdin seven virgins in death, after committing suicide). Instead, he gives Aladdin his own marshmallow outfit to match the Sultan's. Spoiler Warning! At the end, Aladdin teams up with his Genie/Allah to defeat the evil Jebus and banish him to un-Jesusland forever. Also, the voice acting for the Genie is supplied by Robin Williams, a cokehead and therefore the leader of Al Qaeda, and supports the Public Enemy #1 in the United States. In the animated series, he (Aladdin) meets this dude named Mozenrath who, "is exactly like Jafar, but younger." He is also "two tanning sessions away from being Princess Jasmine's overdressed half-sister." Because of this, Aladdin immediately tries to fuck him as well. Clearly, Aladdin is a slut.

The Lion King

Cheesy, feel-good tale of murder, complete with teen pregnancy and a farting warthog Pumbaa (now for no reason named 'Rabbit') and his manic/depressive anorexic gerbil-like friend Timon (similarly renamed 'Llama'), who hook up with a pussy-ass lion, Simba, who ends up acting tough and shagging another lion that looks exactly like his mother (who is probably his sister.) Mr. Bean (Zazu) is a toucan and Darth Vader (Mufasa) is the main cat-fucker that dies and talks in the clouds. Everybody wins except for the bad guy Scar and the less-than-charismatic species of Hyena. Advice: turn it off after the stampede to make your kids cry all day. It's a cheap knockoff of Kimba the White Lion.The most important part is captured on this video:

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

A horrible mishmash of "French" clichés. The main character, Quasimodo, is the developmentally-stunted bell ringer of a French cathedral, but wants to play football for the University of Notre Dame despite not having any talent (this was the inspiration for the 1993 movie "Rudy"); this disgraces not only the Catholic church, but the innocent protagonist, Claude Frollo, who, like everybody, attempts to seize a woman under his control. The whore, Esmeralda, decides to run-off and disobey her new "owner." Because of this, Frollo decides to stab Quasimodo and rape Esmeralda, like anybody would. This movie is an example of one with a happy ending: the Caucasian male nobility seizes the peasantry classes below him, and takes whatever women he wants. Probably one of the best ones to date. For much of the film, he is seen exerting his lustful desire for Esmerelda, a Gypsy girl- he has a fetish for dark skinned gypsies but has been forced to supress his feelings due to his social status and beliefs. He begins to have hallucinations as the story progresses, the viagra has awkward side effects.

Pinocchio

A poor man named Gepetto (real name Gestapo) creates a puppet boy to use as a sex toy. Notorious for the famous orgy scene, in which every male shoots their load while the Blue Fairy videotapes it. The film flopped at the box office, and was destroyed in a fire. The only surviving copy has the sex scenes cut out, which makes it an unfinished film. He has appeared in an episode of the PBS Kids TV show "Super Why", in which he says "BOO" after breaking one of Gepetto's puppets.

“Lets take the kids to Pleasure Island

Dumbo

This righteous film demonstrates Walt "Adolf" Disney's fervent belief that elephants with big ears that can fly are racially inferior to pure-blooded elephants. Mocked and rejected by his peers because of his abnormally small testicles, Dumbo quickly falls into a downward spiral, becoming a jaded alcoholic and incessant gambler, until one night his cohorts slip some LSD and peach schnapps into his trough and he wakes up tied to a lamp post, naked. Also, the human handlers kill his mom because she is a crazy bitch.

Beauty and the Beast

A film about beastiality. A young woman who dosen't quite fit in (re: goth, or 'emo') goes in search of her father, and on the way finds her love in a big hairy beast. In this film is a perverted candle stick (shut up, Freud) and two fat mother figures portrayed as a wardrobe and a teapot. Records indicate that this film was important to Walt Disney as he was known in his later years for having a taste for the big and hairy man, and independently-mobile candle sticks. That could be shoved up his ass. While moving around, and talking.

The Sword in the Stone

One of the few non-pornographic Disney movies, Sword in the Stone is about a young boy, Arthur, who, like Walt Disney, wants to enslave the Jews by pulling a mystical sword out of a stone. Arthur is trained by a pedophilial wizard, Merlin, a character inspired by Walt Disney's even more anti-Semitic father (Elias). After two years of training, relentless beatings, and anti-Semitic teachings, Arthur pulls out the sword and everyone, except the Jews, lives happily ever after. This was a very controversial animated film, and was banned in every country except Nazi Germany, where it received an Oskar award for Best Picture. However, because of this film, Walt Disney soon began to receive death threats and was shot nine times in 1988 (by Jews). He then started a successful rap career in 1992.[1]

So Dear to My Heart

Not just the most precious film classic by Walt Disney himself, this movie has received numerous accolades because nobody has ever heard of it. This story involves a young boy named Jeremiah Kincaid, who likes to draw pictures of presidents and communists that enjoy having sex with Jeremiah. Eventually, Jeremiah enters the political arena with George Bush as the lead. He meets a beaten-up Danny the Lamb who becomes evil after being covered in nuclear waste. The lamb grows into a giant beast and kills Jeremiah and all the people at the fair. Nobody understands this shit, as it has been made up by the original author of this article and isn't funny to anyone else but himself and his pet gerbil, "Nancy."

Bambi

This is a perfect example of how wild animals and the environment get in the way of progress and devlopment. In the movie Bambi and her mother are hunted and persicuted for their beliefs about such things as mentioned above. Therfore it is decided that the forest must be burne down to rid the world of these pesky intruders of Manafest Destiny. They diserved to die the cruel deaths that the did due to the fact that they could not bow to the will of man.

The Three Caballeros

“We're Three Caballeros, Three GAY Caballeros”

Sadly, this is one of the many films that was banned in America, akin to Deep Throat, and the article that went with it which got huffed by kittens. Donald the Duck receives a birthday gift from Latin America and Donald Duck meets with his friend Jose Karaoke, which he sexually-knew previous to this film's production, and Panchito Pistoles. Lovers Donald and Jose travel to Brazil during Carnival Time and eventually join-up with Panchito who extoles the virtues of Mexico City whilst getting high on Peyote from Jose's cigars.The film bombed in 1945; it includes a deleted scene where Donald Duck dances with Frank Sinatra in a Brazillian whorehouse, as an effort to top Gene Kelly's dancing with Jerry (of Tom and Jerry) in a better film. However; in 1965, Timothy Leary found a renegade copy of the film in a basement of a whorehouse in Boston and eventually showed it to his students. After this, the film became a hit for many hippies,Democrats, and fans of the band by the name of (what else)? The Three Caballeros.

Carnival Rats

Give me a fucking break, Walt Disney made his last pornographic film ever made to be "epic" and seriously, it's entitled "Carnival Rats," which is another thing somebody stupid while being drunk. Apparently this story centers around some bitch named "Little Scarley, " who has AIDS and vomits on everyone, everywhere, at anytime whatsoever. Only wanting to have sex with the dead members of the Rat Pack, she refused to have anal sex with anyone with an IQ under 10. Scarley and her disciples of the undead construct a carnival which constantly explodes and falls every time, over and over again, for no apparent reason whatsoever. King Possum IV (this is an incredibly retarded name for a villain) decides that he wants to emo-rape all rat carnivals at once, while crying. Also, Gene Kelly, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Bob Hope and Hayley Smith assemble in the star sequence finale, after which they explode and get molested/or huffed by whoeverthefuck it is... King Possum IV. Then, bombs destroy them all because this all takes PLACE IN LONDON, HELLO (presumably during WWII). This movie was not re-released until 2018 with new scenes starring Samuel L. Jackson and voice-over criticisms of George W. Bush. This is the end of the movie.

“Oh, we are the motherfucking, motherfucking, motherfucking rats.”
~ Frank Sinatra on Carnival Rats/Disney

Pirates of the Caribbean

Captain Jack Sparrow holding a case of Mad Dog 20/20, the only known weakness of Davey Jones and other Disney fans using P2P File Sharing to pirate Disney copyrighted materials
These have got to be the best damn Disney movies ever made, only because they suck a little less dick than the other movies made about cheap thrill rides in the past ten years (looking at _you_, "Haunted Mansion; was there ever a theatrical release of Haunted Mansion Pt. 2?)" Seriously, though, you can tell that the Disney conglomerate is running out of ideas when they make several movies out of a freaking ride, instead of spending resources developing awesome straight-to-DVD movies like "Cinderella 4: The Pumpkin Mistress." This trilogy centers around Elizabeth Swann, a slut, who attempts to, heh, 'kiss' every man on the known universe; in the final movie she and her occasional fuck-buddies travel to "World's End" (Utah) to make some more money for Disney. Jack Sparrow, an ex-football-star-turned-janitor at the local Pirates Senior High School, searches the ocean to find Principal Barbossa and Ted Turner (because they owe him money). Together, all the guys that want to fuck Elizabeth Swann get pissed-off and try to stop her from fucking every other man on earth; they fail. Eventually, at the ripe age of 97, Elizabeth Swann's gaping muff gets pissed-off from all of the attention and closes shop forever, by doubling-back and consuming her in a squishy display of destruction (re: Pirates of the Caribbean Pt. 9: The Devouring Maw; due in 2014).The movie series Pirates of the Caribbean has been criticized for exposing children to such scenes as a father mercilessly-whipping his son's back into a bloody mess, just because the goddamned lawn didn't get mowed by Thursday like the little bastard promised. It is, however, quite obvious that this movie was not made for normal children, but for stupidly-inhuman 13+ year old gay British kids who happen to really like coloring books and being beaten for no reason whatsoever, as per their culture's standards for the past four hundred years.
“Come to negotiate, eh, have you, ya swarmy gits? Look what I got. I've got a folio of legal crap.I've got a folio of legal crap. I've got a folio of legal crap. And some Mad Dog. AND GUESS WHO’S GONNA GET SUED WITH IT?!”
~ Captain Jack Sparrow on Disney Copyright Infringements
“Oh bugger”
~ Captain jack sparrow

Cinderella

Main article: Cinderella

An epic story of any girl with two older sisters that get more attention than she does. Not having a dad is the key; Cinderella is an excellent movie for white-trash girls who eventually become drunken sluts to get all the attention they can gather. From any guy. Ever. The movie starts out with the ugly (apparently obviously) lesbian stepsisters forcing Cinderella to do everything around the house, because they are lazy bitches. One night after getting trashed at the local bar, the divorced-stepmother arrives on the scene to tell all her bitch-spawn that they're going to the prince's domain tomorrow, where he will turn his castle into a nightclub for 24 hours and give her whore daughters a chance to get knocked-up by some guy with money, and get the fuck out of her house permanently. However, Cinderella is uninvited, because she is super-hot, and her deceased father was a native of the Philippines and the party allows whites only. Her non-mom and non-sisters ride into the sunset and head for the discriminated nightclub. Cinderella evokes tears as she slits her wrist with a rusty carving knife, because she is "emo."The cuts don't take; she shows up anyway, and bags the richest guy because she's half-Pinoy, hot as fuck anyway, and some Aryan fairy godmother throws some glamor on her to make her look white. While taking off, she leaves a glass shoe before he can put it into her. Not the shoe. Well, maybe; just because he's a prince and all.Regardless, she ditches the shoe and takes off before her vagina turns back into a giant pumpkin, at midnight.Next day, the prince combs the town with the shoe looking for hot muff, and her half-sisters end up cutting off part of their feet to fit into her shoe. They bleed to death. Her foot fits; Disney glosses over all the awesome stuff, and she gets magically knocked-up by the prince and transforms into a stay-at-home mom with no real job. Disney fails again.

101 Dalmatians

Oh noez! Cruella's a gangsta!

This movie wasn't made by Disney but by some animal activists. The were protesting against Easter Island, who had a big dog fur industry in the 90's. Disney saw the movie, and bought it for 10 dollars. When it became a hit, the animal activists demanded their movie back. Too bad nobody actually believed it was their movie.

That Darn Cat

Cops and robbers? I wish. This shit is about a cat named, "Darn." That Damn Cat! He's a police cat, he does something like the police do, and the film ends. What a fucking cheap waste of precious time! I want my money back, bi-atch!

The Swiss Family Robinson

One of the few gay pornographic films out there, this movie centers on a group of gay porn Nazis. They get shipwrecked on an island, and decide to fuck each other. Timmy, the attractive 18 year old twink, gets kidnapped by tribal men, and becomes a sexual bondage slave. The movie is basically everybody sucking, rimming, blowing, fucking, and saying "uhh! uhh! oh yeah, fuck me uhh! uhh! Ahh!" with loads of bad gay acting, and bad gay dialogue, such as "I saw the lightning of Hitler fall towards the village! Heil Hitler! Oh, and hit it right about...there. Uhh...yeah...UHH! I'M CUMMING!"

Lilo and Stitch

A cheap tale about a young Hawaiian girl named Lilo, both conceived and born in the "Tiki Room," who is forced into prostitution after her mother takes off to Las Vegas, abandoning her two children (Lilo and her sister, who is a fat hog who can't keep a job anywhere, not even at Waffle House.)Then, an escaped space convict named Stitch, who is actually Michael Jackson in an alien suit trying to disguise himself as a Muppet, buys her for 10 cents. They fall in love. They live happily every after until, sadly, Stitch dumps her for a 4-year-old boy he met at Wal-Mart.The spurned Lilo sends an army of hippies out to kill Stitch, most of whom she met in Cinderella's basement, which has since been set up as a meeting place for loser kids that like to smoke pot and construct stupid plot-lines for straight-to-DVD movies. Since Disney wants ALL of your money, it made 12 sequels, 10 of them only available in adult video stores or pirated via The Pirate Bay. In addition, two TV movies were made for a mini-series on Disney Channel that ran for 15 minutes on October 2, 2002; Nielsen reports two viewers, making it Disney Channel's longest-running and most successful show ever since the three-year juggernaut during the mid-nineties, when a, uh, 'budding' pre-teen Britney Spears on the Mickey Mouse Club made you seriously consider fucking underage teenage jailbait girls. Luckily, over time, this problem has repaired itself. (re: bald-ass crazy baby-popping bitch who is overage, and who nobody wants to fuck anymore; not even K-Fed.)

Ray of Light

Ray of Light is considered to be the best Disney cartoon of all-time. It stars humanitarian Ray Lewis, who is the greatest role model of the 21st century. Ray has numerous adventures in the movie, but never kills anyone, nor does he even snitch. This is not really a Disney movie; it is a music video by Madonna. As a result, nobody has seen this; since the late 80's, nobody cares about anything Madonna has produced after she stopped buying actual songs from other people that could write music, and [erroneously] began to think that she could 'write' her own 'musical songs.'

Mary Poppins

Main article: Mary Poppins

A bitch comes to babysit spoilt white kids. In this movie, This negligent babysitter gives the kids some drugs, and makes them think she can do magic tricks. Then she lets them run wild on the rooftops of London while they are drugged-out, while a couple of chimney sweeps frantically try to keep them from falling off those rooftops.

It's Marcus!

This is one of those live-action/animated porn films by Disney to ever have people scream the word, penis. This film is about a pimp named Marcus. He helps the rappers, Dr. Dre, Coach Z, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, Barney the Dinosaur and Antonio Vivaldi to go see the fucked up animals (including the rabbit) which is played by Walt Disney and Samuel L. Jackson at the same time. They come out of Mai- I mean London and eat pig-shit for breakfast. It makes Oliver! look like an anal sex orgy. Because of that, it won a Golden Testicle for best anal sex in Motion Picture history. This is the end of the movie... barely.

Peter Pan

Main article: Peter Pan

Usually portrayed in a live-action play (by a girl/effeminate homosexual creator of an Internet meme); this story chronicles the early years of Michael Jackson, a character who sneaks into people's houses while their parents are away and entices their young children to come to his house (or Neverland as he occasionally calls it,) claiming to be in search of his "shadow," (or "penis"). Normally, within the first ten minutes of the production, he can convince children to jump to their deaths from their second-story windows. Most of these productions end in lawsuits.In the original adventure, Michael strikes gold by finding a British home with three children, to whom he introduces his Tinkerbell, Captain Hook, and Indian Brave ("ball #1, Dick, and ball #2, respectively). Though successful in most countries, these movies/plays were banned from Canada for stereotyping Native Americans. This movie will put all kids to sleep, make them think they can fly, are gay, or vampires. Michael Then Decides To Rape The Children And Feed Them Young Rodents creamed together in a mixer. The Children Follow Michael To His Home (secret underground lair) And when they arrive, They are greeted with other small captives dressed in rags who are convinced they're pirates.

South Panthers

If you thought South Panthers was a bad title, reference South Pacific or South Park. Heralded as the first musical porn by Walt Disney. Featuring Alex "Reily" Panther, a fugitive from an underground Brazilian zoo that captures exclusive humans with stupid last names who have the distinctive trait of having been constantly raped by this slut named Sandy for no real reason whatsoever. At some point, everybody, even Ghandi, shows up at the zoo to rape Alex, centering around some evil lesbian rhino, Crazy Smitheroo. Everyone dies of AIDS. Really. The movie was banned in Brazil for stereotypically-portraying Brazilians, Ghandi, and rhinos of alternative sexuality, and no one cares about this shit AT ALL. Three kids were born on a panther rally (a drunken pub-crawl), and were occasionally accompanied by some ducks that fuck. Oklahoma was not as bad as this movie, because of gay porn. You should probably watch this movie.

The Jungle Book

This feature film is Disney's first complete rip-off of the awesome Rankin/Bass Chuck Jones's straight-to-TV "Mowgli's Brothers." One day, the bisexual orphan man cub named Mowgli, from India, has sex with the wolves (read: gay pornography, and bestiality.) Then a pedophile black panther operative named Bagheera makes Mowgli go to sleep on a tree-limb, where a goddamned rock python named Kaa touches Mowgli's penis. (Shut the FUCK UP, Freud!) The next morning, a bear named Baloo gets his ass kissed by Mowgli because he needs a new sugar-daddy. Later, a jealous 55 year-old gay tiger, Shere Khan, attacks Mowgli and un-faggotally 'devours' him, because he considers Mowgli a threat. Movie ends.

Pollyanna

A young white child lives on an island where her father teaches about 'God. He gets AIDS and dies, and she is sent to the United States to live with her rich bitch aunt named Polly. She rapes Pollyanna every night, and she also rapes the cook, the maid, the cleaner, the gardner, the repair man, the housewife, the gay porn faggot Sean Lockhart, the mailman, the black mailwoman, the Chinese ho, the nanny, the entire cast of "Saved By The Bell," and your mom. Pollyanna charms everybody in the town, and breaks her leg humping the big Jimmy Bean tree outside of her rear window. Pollyanna later kills Aunt Polly by forcing her to watch Barney. She later goes on to star in Saved By The Bell, as the teacher of a nerd, a goofy then yet now a comedic prick, a drug addicted woman who becomes a stripper, a gay dancer who now works on an entertainment show, and a jehovah's witness. Oops, and Tiffani Amber Thissen.

Toy Story

Toy Story was the first collaboration Disney made with Pixar. Pixar didn’t want to make this film with Disney (it was only their second date) but Disney gave them very little choice because, at this point, they were still two separate entities. As a response, Disney kidnapped all the heads of Pixar and broke many different bones in their bodies until they finally gave in, deciding to spread their [shattered] legs and give Disney all their money. Pixar tryed to secretly show this display of action in the hard-hitting plea for mercy that can been found on the Toy Story DVD (via a hidden eater egg.) Their final declamation involves, amongst other things, Buzz Lightyear being raped by Mr Potato Head. It was all very graphic and soul-stirring. Disney eventually found out about this betrayal and assassinated the entire staff of Pixar. You can watch both the deleted scene, as well as the 'cleansing,' via The Pirate Bay.

The Fox and the Hound

An epic tale about a genetically-engineered fox and his fuck-hound; Tod (the fox), was constructed in a moldy basement by an old woman with a driving desire to breed him with a hound dog she also designed, named Copper. She grew them both from fetuses in her underground vat, constantly experimenting first with cross-genus homosexual tendencies, and later, with more advanced biogenical methods made available to her via her discovery of several of Disney's hidden unholy personal archives. After failure after failure, the woman then 'gives' Tod away to the forest (after amputating all of his legs, before setting him floppingly-'loose'). Tod gets shot by a hunter while nailing Bambi's mom; after dying, Tod telepathically forces the hunter to shoot her in the head as well, because she is a bitch (thusly creating an awesome cross-movie paradox.)Copper is unharmed; because he is truly undead, he continues to lick his own balls for all eternity (viewable on YouTube.)

Pocahontas

Main article: Pocahontas

This is Disney's first hard-lined exposition about how all races of the earth have, since the beginning of time, tried to subjugate the white man. The story begins with a Native American girl who, like every woman, constantly has sex with all the other Native Americans that can afford to buy her things. English people sail to America, with the intention of killing everybody (like Disney) to make some more money. A day after they arrive, Pocahontas meets an English soldier (John "the Shlong" Smith) and rapes him. Afterward, she steals all his jewelry, his three dogs, his car, a kidney, the title to his house, his dignity, and his cell phone. As a bonus, she gives him American-Indian Herpes. This is a standard documentary used by real Americans to teach their impressionable children about the dangers of [the now-extinct] Native Americans. The movie is widely accepted as an important educational film by nobody, and is shown in preschool classes around the nation to make the little kids shut the fuck up. It accurately portrays things like Native American life in the 1960's, including aspects such as their super powers (talking to trees/drinking heavily/fucking for cash). SPOILER: In the end, it is revealed that Pocahontas is really a money-grubbing bitch.

The Hobbit

Once again, this straight-to-TV show isn't from Disney; it's another Rankin/Bass 1970's hippie pot-smoking adaptation of a book written by a communist. Drunken Uncyclopedia article-writers frequently confuse these productions (like Rikki-Tikki-Tavvi, Mowgli's Brothers, The Love Boat, The Last Unicorn, Lemmiwinks, et al) with actual Disney creations, which is evidence of Disney's subconsciously-global plot to take all of your fucking money for no reason whatsoever.

Newsies

This historical romance/musical/gay pornographic film is loosely based on the NYC Gay Rights' Movement of 1899; most of the controversy surrounding this film is based on the fact that the lead character, Kenny "Two-Face" Ortega, portrayed newsboys as flaming homosexuals. In actuality, the newsboys were poor street orphans just trying to make ends meet, while being violently gay. This lead to legal litigation (Louis "Kid Blink" Ballat versus Disney); Kid Blink, the Lodging House whore, was eventually executed because nobody fucks around with Disney and survives.This movie has become a cult hit in both hormonal 'tween' girls' and NAMBLA's communities. The song from the musical number "Queen of New York" appeared on the compilation "Classic Disney Volume 7".

Hercules

This movie will make 300 look like crap.....wait.....anyway, it's about a myth of the sexy Geek hero named Hercules and his gay faun-like friend named Phil who explore around ancient Greece. Phil teaches Hercules the ways of the rapist so Hercules can actually connect with his father (Zeus) who is the greek god of rapists (seriously). They first rape the bitch Megara. Later, Hercules saves the greek gods from Hades (god of chastity). This is the first pornographic "Greek" cliché of all time.

Oliver & Company

A ghetto dog film with Oliver Twisted Penis in the city of the 1980's. Exciting, eh? HAHAHAHA, no! A cat named Oliver is lost and has no home, he goes meet some homosexual dogs out of nowhere and meets the dog who is portrayed by Billy Joel! Really? Now that is lame, but at that time, it was cool. Then the pit bull rapes all the dogs which makes this movie the most biggest doggy cliché of all time! This is NOT the end of the movie, Oliver tries to dry-hump 'em, but didn't work. Holy shit! What a cheap asshole!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Who wouldn't trust such a sweet looking old lady?

This is one of Walt "Adolf" Disney's first films. In this movie, Snow White is a pale, midget-fucking-prostitute that jumps into a gay orgie everynight with the seven homosexual children (Michael Jackson would've been soooooooo jealous of Snow White!!). She is the ideal woman; she stays at home, blows whoever whenever, cooks, cleans, and she stays out of sight while her seven sex-slaves go work for Osama bin Laden in the cave digging business. She holds a world record that has never been beaten for having the most STDs in a lifetime, including the rare super AIDS. Just as life was about to return to normal for the whore, the Pimpin' Prince comes around looking for his prostitute. He then released hell-fire upon the seven midgets after learning about their sex life together. He ends up nuking the little cottage and the caves(somehow, bin Laden escapes to the U.S. and takes refuge in the White House). Snow White was then forced into butt-slavery by the Pimpin' Prince and the birds and animals that visit her regularly are never to be seen again (some witness that they have seen a "punt gun" (find it on youtube.com) in the prince's castle and believe that all the animals are nothing but ameoba food). The rabbit-loving eighth dwarf Pervy was included in pre-release versions of the film to teach kids about the danger of perverts, but was later axed after pressure from the Pope.


Click on this link to watch an scene edited out from the 1953 reissue.

Robin Hood

Main article: Robin Hood

This movie is boring. It's about a tale of an anthropomorphic fox named Robin Hood who went to shoot the Merry Men in Nottingham. Robin's friend, a fat bear named Little John, kicks the Merry Men's butt seven times. The bitch, Maid Marian, was raped by Robin for the sexual life. A evil lion, Prince John, along with his snake as a masturbating ass, is taking over Nottingham for the coins. Robin then got shot by the Merry Men ten times. This is the end of the movie.

Mulan

In 1998, Disney got an idea of how Disney would make an epic Chinese porno about a sexy shemale. Her name is Mulan. She gets raped every time we mention the name. Mulan is known for as the world's most fucked-up lady heroes of all time that ended up with The Forbidden Kingdom. (I mean seriously, can't you SAVE everyone, you retard! Can you be smart for once?) She now trains and save China from raping Japan and every sex scene is... well... sexy. Later, Mulan decided to cum on everybody who loved Japan. What? Okay, this porno makes no sense whatsoever. If you think it makes sense, then you should get the fuck out some more.

Dudes & Gals

Disney made... a 1980's rap film about a talking baby where he moves to Las Vegas. Take that, Stewie Griffin! He gets past by a pedophile/bully named Xavier. Seriously? This is retarded for a 1980's Disney film. Really. Also, it has Rick Astley as the cool dude. Now is it me or is this film making no sense and starting to be a little homosexual for kids. 1980's is weird for Disney. Oh, and in the end, Xavier becomes a gay stripper. This is the end of the movie.

Tarzan

Main article: Tarzan

A porn flick about gorillas that make Disney went ape-shit crazy about... apes molesting a child named Tarzan. He was raised from some retarded Apes from Planet of the Apes. Which in fact, made Tarzan destroying the Statue of Liberty. WHAT?!? Oh my god! They did it. They went and did it! Damn you all! Damn you to hell! Anyway, they also meet a scientist. Followed by the elephants and a retarded girl who gets raped in Norway named, Jane. Because of that, shit happens and snakes go on the tree rather than the plane. This is the end of the move. Why?!? Because it was fucking retarded! FUCK!

A Utah Journey

This movie is about a mormon cowgirl from Japan? NO! From Utah, the world's boring state. And her name is Isabelle, what an ugly name. Well, it's about those mountain rocks who're pimps. They bitch slap Isabelle and took cocaine. And then, the fat horse named Mark is willing to go to McDonald's to suck Big Macs for breakfast. This film was eventually banned in Utah and no one gives a fuck. This is the end of the movie.

A Bug's Life

A bunch of bugs get stepped on by little children. And that's pretty much it, aside from the bug pornography by Isabella Rosalini, who wrote, directed, produced, and stared in this movie. It's was supposed to be the kid-friendly successor of the obscene Anime series the Spider Riders.

Tlurops Bear

A German anti-environmental film banned in all countries because of its political statement. Really? Seriously, Disney, you mean you're a Liberal? Shit, man. Anyway, there is this gibberish E.B. White-reject, Tlurops Bear, a bear with religion, politics, and environments! That's all it is.

The Aristocats

Main article: The Aristocats

This is the first Disney movie with the jazz. The cat,ex-cat-whore-thing, Duchess, who lived in France, has 9999 kittens. Then they meet an alley cat named O'Malley, who invited her to his house of alley cats. The catnapper, Edgar McLovin, kidnaps the cats, so then the cats broke his legs off and eat him alive. The Cats participate in several orgies with the alley cats over the corpse of Edgar McLovin. The sequel, The Aristocrats, was less successful.

Your Mom: The Movie

Your Mom actually WAS in a movie! She plays a 1950's Housewife who falls in love with a gay pedophile, Barry, and he takes her to a land that she'll never forget. Unfortunately, she forgets and tries to find the guy who will take her to the land. And as in every Disney Movie, Your Dad isn't in it!

Atlantis: The Not-So-Lost Lost Empire

Michael J. Fox can't stay still in this movie, centered on his quest to find Atlantis, which, unfortunately, is right in front of him the whole time. He hires a gang of the most stereotypical crew ever in a Disney movie. I mean, come on, a black doctor? Since when did we have black people that get jobs?! Anyway, the stereotypes include an Italian who blows up things with fire, a Hispanic auto mechanic who uses a monkey wrench, and Tiffani Amber Thissen. Kylie Minogue portrays Kida, some Atlantian bitch who's good with a pole and Carice Van Houten portrays Helga, a spy and right hand henchwoman of the main villain, portrayed by Adam West. The film received mostly negative reviews, due mostly to racism, and critism of Michael J. Fox's movement, which makes the camera so damn shaky the entire movie, almost like Cloverfield, but much more worse.

Treasure Planet

This was the coolest most tolerable of the Disney movies made in the last 99 years. I mean its rated PG! A Disney movie that's rated PG just has to be cool! PG is so edgy for Disney! Unless, of course, you're over the age of seven.

The Passion of the Christ

Main article: Passion of the Christ

This is Disney's first Jewish Porn film. It's the story of Mel Gibson getting super drunk and super bored...and picking up a camera. 'Nuff said.

Yellow Submarine

This scene will be in the Disney Version of "Yellow Submarine"
Main article: Yellow Submarine

Yes, there's a Disney version of Yellow Submarine! It's to be released on December 21, 2012 and it stars The Beatles as themselves, it's directed by Robert Zemeckis, and written by Walt Disney himself. It also proves that Hollywood has no more ideas.

Conflicts

Just one of the many supposed "stereotypes" of older Disney films. Psht. My goodness, I think this cat is a beatnik. Do you know what beatniks do? They sip coffee, listen to jazz, and smoke pot all day. Are these the values we should be presenting to our youth? I think not.See also:The Aristocats!

One of the most popular controversies concerns The Lion King and Kimba The White Lion. Kimba is a piece of Japanese crap that had the honor of being ripped off by Disney. It is said that Walt Disney took a time machine to the future and decided to "outdo those damn Japs". He also took a time machine trip to Vietnam during the war to sleep with various Vietnamese hookers. His favorite went under the name of "Snow White"—his inspiration to make the film.Disney has also been credited with being racist and sexist in previous films. There are apparently "stereotypes" that exist—but everyone knows that stereotypes are always correct. The most infamous case is Song of the South. It is a completely incorrect representation of African Americans—there was no watermelon, fried chicken, malt liquor or gunfire anywhere in the film.There have also been supposed sexual innuendos in some films and hidden offensive art. For instance, if one plays 101 Dalmatians in reverse there is a rather graphic scene involving Cruella DeVille, the puppies, and a tub of Cool Whip. Unlock the power of your mind to envision that scene in your head. HINT: No spoons were used.And speaking of sexual innuendo, The Jungle Book showed a graphic scene of touching erected tails 432 times according to the Guinness Book of Records. Once this scene was discovered by a group of concerned soccer moms, a boycott of Disney films was organized. No one paid attention, though, because no one gives a fuck what soccer moms think; Google "PMRC" for more info.In the movie The Three Caballeros, Donald Duck said Spic more than once and was seen naked at least three minutes in the film.

Songs and Incidental Music

Young Mozart, Wesley Willis, and Kurt Cobain composing "A Whole New World".

Most of the music in Disney films is composed by Mozart, Nuclear Assault, Dope, Wesley Willis, Rob Zombie, and Kurt Cobain, so it is totally awesome.

Some songs have been cut from films, such as: "The Tramp Ain't Neutered" (Lady and the Tramp), "Aladdin Has a Whole New STD" (Aladdin), "Beauty and Bestiality" (Beauty and the Beast), "I am a Tospy-Sexy-Turvy" (The Hunchback of Notre Dame), "I'm Going Bat-Shit Crazy" (A Utah Journey), "Good Thing White ain't Black" (Snow White), "I Had Sex in the Amusement Park" (Carnival Rats), "Why Am I High?" (Alice in Wonderland), "Gimme Megara's Boobs" (Hercules), "I Aborted the Last 100" (101 Dalmatians), "Mulan the Moran" (Mulan), and "Rafiki's rap about rape" (The Lion King).

Trivia

Trivia sections are Goofy!
The article could be improved by reading it upside-down, or something, I dunno. Did you know it's impossible to lick your own elbow? Unless you're some kind of freak.
  • Pink Floyd will star in High School Musical 7. They will play a clique of artsy teens whose songs are all about how lame high school musicals are while the cast of the lame school musical will get high. CGI graphics will be used to seamlessly integrate them with real teenagers.
  • Disney is responsible for a horrible attempt at a cyborg recreation of another cyborg gone wrong. It was named Inspector Gadget, but at the same time, it is not the real Inspector Gadget. You are not advised to walk up to a girl and Inspector Gadget. (This is meant to be read out loud.)
  • That's So Raven was actually Disney's attempt to affront God with the worst plot ever.
  • Walt Disney was the first furry to openly admit to his preference.
  • The Jonas Brothers will star in their own movie with Kurt Cobain, Insane Clown Posse, and others. Apparently, no one will give a flying fuck.

Amanita Mushrooms in Disney films

Drugs and other vices appear in every movie ever made by Disney, but like all children's literature, the imagination and delusions that children experience in Disney cartoons is rooted in their dosing on this mushroom, which appears in many of the movies, most notably in Alice in Wonderland, Snow White, Bambi, The Three Caballeros, and Fantasia. (In Fantasia, the mushrooms even dance around.) The typical visage of the white stalk, collar, and red cap with white spots indicates Amanita muscaria, which for millennia has been used by the Norse people for hallucinatory effects. The mushroom is dried, and the cap cut into bits and eaten. In Alice in Wonderland, there is a good possibility that the mushrooms seen when the caterpillar smokes hashish are psilocybin.

References

  1. SPOILER: Walt Disney is the true name of the rapper masquerading as 50 Cent.
   v  d  e
Disney is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.

See also


This article uses material from the "Disney" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

Cybernations

Up to date as of January 31, 2010

From the Cyber Nations Wiki, the wiki dedicated to the Cyber Nations Game.

Disney is a very lame and older nation at 162 days old with citizens primarily of FRENCH ethnicity whose religion is Confusion-ism. Its technology is advancing slowly, and mainly in the backwards direction. Its citizens enjoy a wealth of Chatau De Plonk and funny-shaped bread. Its citizens enjoy freedom from intelligence and as a result tend to earn no money. The citizens of Disney work diligently to produce Cigarettes and Wine as tradable resources for their nation. It is a mostly neutral country when it comes to foreign affairs, and will surrender to anyone. When it comes to nuclear weapons Disney will run screaming from the idea. Plans are on the way within Disney to open new rehabilitation centers across the nation and educate its citizens of the dangers of being sober at 10am. Disney allows its citizens to protest their government but uses a strong police force of bunnies to make sure things don't get out of hand. It has an open border policy, but no-one wants to come. The government gives whatever is necessary to help keep the prime minister's bar stocked, even it means hurting its own economy. The government of Disney will trade with any other country regardless of ethical consequences, especially Arabs.


This article uses material from the "Disney" article on the Cybernations wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







Got something to say? Make a comment.
Your name
Your email address
Message