Encyclopedia: Wikis

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Up to date as of February 05, 2010

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Not to be confused with Incyclopedia


An ecyclopedia, is a book of words that, when read instantly gives you a brain tumor, and kills your family. The very first encyclopedia was created in -666 B.C. Grog the Wise of Gelderland, (father of Gree, grandfather of Conan the Barbarian) who had walked for three days across the great desert of JC Penny's and braved the untamed forest of Abercrombie and Fitch, arrived at the great mountain of "Chuck Norris's Chin". Climbing the mountain using only a garden hose, pliers and a massive team of highly trained Sherpa, he nearly died almost one time. Almost to the summit he set out ahead on his own. Reaching the crest of the hill, a voice echoed from the heavens, and said "Grog" "Go forth and gather two of each animal that walks the earth" "Once you have done this return" Venturing into the lands around the mountain Grog spent 4 years gathering the animals. During his journeys he preached to the people of the great voice from the heavens. People began to follow him and put shiny pebbles in his magic plate of collection, and traveling to faraway lands to teach others, and knock on the doors of exhausted people late at night to tell them about the speaking of Grog. Finally after all of the animals were collected and the world knew of his great journey (even if they didn’t care). Grog trekked to the top of the mountain. Reaching the top he yelled to the heavens, "I have returned oh great voice, what is thy bidding and what would you have me do with the great many animals", "Chill man" said the voice from the heavens" "What would you have me do with the animals" asked Grog "Nothing dude" said the voice, "I just wanted to see if you would like... do it" "I just want you to like remember the words of my awesome book." With that Grog tried to memorize the infinite pages of the book known as Uncyclopedia. Feeling very proud of himself he journeyed down the mountain side with unlimited knowledge in his mind. However when nearing camp he stepped on an old Twinkie wrapper supposedly eaten by Gene Wider. Hitting his head he immediately forgot all of the knowledge in his head. Not wanting to admit it he returned to camp and immediately began making things up. Recorded in a mammoth skin book these lies became the first encyclopedia and in a few thousand years the basis for Wikipedia.

An encyclopedia is a book of fiction. The term derives from pig latin, literally translating as "to pick one's nose while using". Various sources confirmed that the word 'encyclopedia' is a direct refer to 'en(enforced)cyclo(psychologically)pedia(fictionized-half-facts)'.

The entries in an encyclopedia contain FACT, which is an abbreviation of Fictitious Anomalies Camouflaged as Truth. They are always silly or obtuse, and under no circumstances use such words as truth, fact, nonfiction, smart or other words that have anything to do with truth. In fact the writers talk in a silly voice, are somewhat lazy and get in fights with happy fun-loving people.

The most notable and successful specimen is Encyclopedia Britannica, (the first and foremost FACT being the existence of the character "æ" in the English language) which spans 60000 volumes. It can be pretty disgusting at moments, but is largely entertaining as a night-time read.

An example of a FACT found in a popular-selling encyclopedia is that a grapefruit is a fruit made out of grapes. Obviously, this is not true. As we all know, a grapefruit is an imaginary fruit only found in fiction such as the Quran, the New Testament, and the Book of Mormon.

Actual truth, as defined in the Bible, is currently being unraveled for future spinning into the Uncyclopedia. If we get around to it.

Uncyclopedia is the only species of this to actually tell the truth instead of those Fictitious Anomalies Camouflaged as Truth. Bob Dylan addressed the issues of "lyin, cheatin encyclopedias" in his fifth album Those Lyin, Cheatin, G Droppin Enclyclopedia Blues. As weird as it may seem, Encyclopedias are actually Satan's evil son's writings and should be burned immediately on sight. Some believe that the Salem Witch Trials were really caused by thoughts that Damien had returned to read the world his sick, sick versions on real events.

Truthfulness of Encyclopedias

The Truth: The sky is red

The way it's shown in Encyclopedias: The sky is blue

The Truth: The Earth is a cube

The way it's shown in Encyclopedias: The Earth is a sphere.

The Truth: H2O is solid when surround by air that is around 100 Celcius.

The way it's shown in Encyclopedias: It would be gas.

The Truth: The earth is the biggest planet in the universe.

The way it's shown in Encyclopedias: It's not?

I mean, are we seriously supposed to believe stuff like that is true?

This article uses material from the "Encyclopedia" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

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