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Halloween (film): Wikis

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Up to date as of February 05, 2010

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Cover of the Halloween DVD.

Halloween is a 1978 Musical / Horror / Western film centering around the small town of Haddonfield, IL and a serial killer named Michael Myers. It's not scary. The film was a low-budget independent that cost a grand total of $3000 to make. Anthropologists are still undergoing intense research to figure out why the film was such a big success.



On Halloween night, 1963, Michael Myers ( not to be confused with Austin Powers ) killed his older sister Judith Myers for no apparent reason. The fact that she was combing her hair topless while he did it is mere coincidence. He was later sent to a mental asylum under the care of Dr. Vincent Price.. I MEAN Sam Loomis, who purposely kept him locked up for fifteen years to make him even more violently insane, that way he would fulfill the mentally-insane requirement for the part of Michael Myers within the script.. This fifteen-year gap caused a problem for the film-makers as they became restless and impatient waiting for Michael to finally lose his marbles so that the movie production could continue. This almost led to the cancellation of the entire project.

In 1978, Michael escapes from the mental ward and stalks three sexy teenage girls who are babysitting, one of them being his step sister Laurie Strode. He kills them off one by one as the movie progresses. First he kills Annie Brackett, then he kills Steve Urkel, and then Lynda. He then proceeds to hang their corpses in the upstairs bedroom so that he could masturbate to the whole grotesque scene (notice how he's breathing heavy; he just got through masturbating). Laurie, being a clueless dimwit, walks over to house across the street reeking of her doom, and makes her way to the upstairs bedroom. There she finds Annie Brackett lying dead on the bed with her labia cut off, Steve Urkel hanging from the ceiling by his foreskin, and Lynda lying in the closet covered in semen. Michael Myers sneaks up behind Laurie Strode and shanks her, leading to her fall down the stairs. Laurie makes a run for it while Michael slowly follows in a slow and horribly scary fashion. She makes it back to her house where Michael attempts to strangle her. Laurie manages to remove his mask and it's Tony Danza! (although some other sources say George Clooney). Loomis shoots Myers six times, leading to his fall off the balcony. Michael lays on the grass, takes a short nap, gets up and walks off, leaving room for a sequel. A little known fact of the film was that Michael, a long term transvestite, continued to wear the clown outfit from the opening scenes throughout the whole of the movie; as was revealed in the commentary track on the "Halloween 25th anniversary DVD."

Myers is most commonly known today as the "grocery bag killer" because he wears a white bag on his head with one hole where the eye would go. Many believe his concept came from a late 1970's porn film he saw. Myers continues to stalk and kill pretty white teenagers with huge libidos in and around the Haddonfield area on Halloween. After years of tireless research, U.S. Government scientists have attributed Michael's violent rampages to "It's how he gets it up."



Halloween is often seen as the "godfather" of all modern slasher movies. Despite it's extremely low budget, poor film quality, and hilariously under-trained actors, it still serves as the perfect archetype for what a good slasher movie should be. Numerous directors have taken on the difficult task of creating sequals to this classic film, but majority of them have failed miserably in doing so. The worst sequal of all, as determined by a U.S. 2008 survey, was Halloween III: The Nap of Michael Myers which had nothing to do with the Michael Myers story. Some directors have even attempted to emulate Halloween's style with their own slasher series, such as Regis Philbin who produced the Scream series.


Main article: Halloween (film series)

Halloween has spawned innumerable sequels since its 1978 release. Here is a still-growing list of ridiculous sequals:

  • Halloween II
  • Halloween III: The Nap of Michael Myers (unrelated, non-Myers film)
  • Halloween 4: The Rehabilitation of Michael Myers
    • Halloween 4: Michael Myers Is Done Napping -- alternate cut of Halloween 4
  • Halloween 5: The Search For More Money
  • Halloween 6: More Bloodshed
  • Halloween H20: Michael Myers in water-form (like the liquid terminator)
  • Halloween: Michael Myers vs. Leprechaun: Where da gold at?
  • Halloween: The Night WE Wanted Our Money Back
  • Halloween X: Michael Myers vs. Jigsaw vs. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Darth Vader vs. Michel Jackson vs. Chuck Norris vs. Rambo - still awaiting release in Japan.

The latest movie, Halloween, is not a sequel, but rather a remake of the original. Rob Zombie helmed the ambitious project, which was released in United States theaters August 31, 2007 and released on DVD on December 18, 2007. Unfortunately, while Zombie was under production of his Halloween 2 (2009), he realized that the original Halloween 2, along with the original 4-8, were merely remakes of the very first Halloween (1978). He now denies having directed/produced any Halloween sequals what-so-ever.

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Halloween (film) is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.

This article uses material from the "Halloween (film)" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

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