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“I invented everything, and he just took the credit for it.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Jimmy Neutron
“Bitch.”
~ Jeremie Belpois on Jimmy Neutron
“His hair tastes like crap... No, wait, it IS crap!!!”
~ Vultures on Jimmy Neutron
“Mmmmmm... Chocolate soft serve”
~ Homer on Jimmy's Hair
Jimmy Neutron looking at naked men.

James Isaac Neutron, (December 31, 1994 - August 6, 2009), distant relative (son) of the infamous rockstar Jimi Hendrix, is a famous child movie star, mostly found in epic Sci-Fi movies. He has been whored out for many years by the fucking Nazi children's programming network, Nickelodeon, in his own television series The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, based off of his debut movie release Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius. Jimmy Neutron is best known as the 2nd most hideous character to have ever appeared on Nickelodeon (1st place being a 3-way tie amongst the Presentators, who are so homely looking they can turn Medusa herself to stone).

His rivals was Spongebob Squarepants, Invader Zim, Ren & Stimpy, Doug, Rocko, Ickis, Arnold, Norbert and Dagget of the Angry Beavers, Dexter (for copyright infringement over the term "Boy Genius"), Al Qaeda, Naruto, Aaron Carter (Upon recent disagreements), Debi Derryberry (his claimed 'voice actor'), Marlon Brando, and William Clinton. It has also been claimed that he has had epic action-packed battles with Leatherface in Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Jason Voorhees in Jason X.

Claims to be ten years old, Jimmy is within college level intelligence, thus explaining his neverending war against unintelligent twice-voted vice-presidentbefore Biden in America, George Bush. He did go to college once, but after accidentally causing a scientific disaster causing the whole school to burn to the ground, killing all students, he was obviously expelled. After that, he became president of the universe. He has a dog named Goddard, named for the reason of the mechanical dog being thought of as a god, and so Jimmy worships his dog by bringing him practically everywhere with him. Although his dog is mentally retarded, though trying to pretend to be smart, Jimmy loves his dog. Jimmy has still yet to realize that his dog isn't an actual real living dog, and lives in denial. Goddard has a reputation as a hero for having destroyed Leader Dog in 2006 (even though Leader Dog cartoons are still known to attack viewers without warning during commercial breaks on the Nicktoons Network).

After his mother committed suicide through severe depression, Jimmy has used her dead, decaying body for experimentation and autopsy surgery. And his father did nothing whatsoever through this event, presumably not caring. However, Jimmy suspects that his father just MIGHT be turning into a cannibal. But the blood stains all over his clothes and face, and the dead animals he drags in, and takes down with him into the basement, are sure as hell not suspicious. But the bird shit stains sure are.

One of Jimmy's less successful experiments, mutilated Libby, Cindy, Sheen, and killed Principal Willoughby before being shot by the police. And then it killed some more.

Jimmy has two drinking buddies he hangs out with all the time. One is a severely sensitive anti-everything freak, who has near death experiences from touching everything... better known as Carl. Also, Carl is sometimes mistaken for a 200 ton blue whale. One is a criminally insane homicidal maniac, willing to kill everyone who tries to steal his precious boyfriend, his Ultra Lord doll. This boy is named Sheen.

Jimmy prides himself on teaching valuable and completely accurate science lessons to other children. Here are a few examples of his teachings:

  • Despite the total lack of atmospheric gases in interstellar space, you can breathe and talk there just as easily as you can on Earth.
  • Inanimate objects, such as pants, will develop advanced brainial capacity and megalomania if a computer chip is installed into them.
  • Man-eating venus flytraps and spiders that are approximately 20 times the size of an average human exist in the wild.
  • The space-time continuum can easily be manipulated to allow someone to travel backwards in time, proving that that Einstein dude's theory of relativity is completely full of shit.Just like jimmy's mom after goddard was finished with her.
  • According to Jimmy, Snakes live in packs.

Contents

Early Life

When Jimmy was even an unborn fetus, it was already obvious that he would one day be something special. Jimmy was born in St. Luke's Hospital, (without a penis so as soon as the Neutrons got home Jimmys dad poked a hole in Jimmys Crouch and then printed out a picture of a dic off the internet and then used a glue stick to put it on... but then Jimmys mom walked in and thought he was rapping him so he had to go to jail for 327590278247534857938758347598348932896472367236473647658735678478367546587346578346578346587346857643857438543687563478478564398574-3985958659043789065789537896784378387348578345783485347589342394890237502397589738957329504238958948957689747485584398574395734950374598457 years DDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMNNNNNN SEX MUST BE HHHHHHHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)) and his head was so large, it made it harder for his mother to push him out of her vagina. Also, the doctors were too dumb to know what they were doing. They thought Jimmy was a girl, and called him Alexis. When they discovered his balls they renamed him to James. His father, the child molestating retard, being the most embarressed of this mistake.

When Jimmy was 6 mos. old, Minerva the Shiny Froslass would often babysit him. Of course, Minerva had been abused by her legal guardian, Erin Okujna. While her guardian was around, she would beat Jimmy and Minerva with a whip. By the time he was 12 mos. old, his parents discovered Erin was abusing Jimmy and the babysitter and Minerva was without a job.

When Jimmy was about a toddler age, he found the cure for cancer, but because no one believed that a toddler could have done so, everyone decided to pretend he didn't and ignore him. Which is why people are still yet today trying to find the cure. Dumbasses.

In pre-school, Jimmy had a male teacher, who tried to attempt having sexual relations with him. However, when his mother found out, she filed a lawsuit against him, and won. This gave the family a hell of a lot of money, only to waste on a crappy suburban home. But it at least explains how the hell Jimmy has the equipment to make his inventions.

In kindergarten, Jimmy got his so-called "hair", which was actually someone's shit when he crawled into the toilets to try to look at Carl Wheezer's penis.

Jimmy was discovered by Nickelodeon, when they were on their weekly pick-up-some-random-person-off-the-street routine, and they decided that a big-headed boy genius was the most original cartoon idea ever. How ever it got put out of bussiness because people picked up a weasel on the street next to his and thought that it was a better idea

When Jimmy was 11, he shot his grandmother, Cindy, Carl, Sheen, some guy and Nick Dean to death.

A rumored relative of Jimmy.

in case you didn't know my great great great grandfather Issac Newton invented pornography isn't it shocking what a lonely bastard.

Love Life

Jimmy has had past relationships with many different women. His most infamous relationship was with Cindy Vortex, a part-time dominatrix and a succubus young girl addicted to sadism. Jimmy was disgusted by her frighteningly stalker-like actions, as well as her abusive ways. However, instead of breaking up with her, Jimmy raped her mercilessly, (just as Cindy had done to him due to a contract perviously made) and hit her on the back of the head with a shovel, then buried her underground.
Oooh, she's pissy.
He also had a relationship with Betty Quinlan, who dumped Jimmy and morphed into Mandy Moore.

Her friend Libby apparently found out about it... but she just said, "She was a bitch anyway," and walked off not telling anyone. Sheen, a bisexual, has been recently engaged with Libby. They plan to marry whenever they feel like it.

Jimmy's other ex-girlfriend was none other than Miss Jessica Simpson. At first, he just dated her because she was seemingly attractive and famous, but then he just got sick of her, realizing how dumb she really was. Like one time, they were supposed to meet at a restaurant for a date, but Jessica found her way into a sewer instead.
Who HASN'T dated her?

Obviously, this caused Jimmy to want a definite ending to this relationship. He broke up with her, before the "is this chicken or tuna incident?" luckily. Jimmy had traded her to Nick Lachey, for a pot of gold.

Another relationship Jimmy has been rumored of having, was with Hilary Duff. Jimmy was actually a big fan of her totally hardcore television show, Lizzie McGuire, or as the correct title, "Lezzie McQueer".
Wow, she's so totally not a dumb blonde.

However, this caused the uproar for Aaron Carter (who has some of the best music in the world). Aaron, whom was one of the the best pop artists for Jimmy's soundtrack, had been enraged and jealous of this particular event. Aaron and Jimmy were friends, until this battle over the blonde rock- wannabe began.

Using swords and maces, Aaron and Jimmy had a battle to the death. Jimmy almost lost, without his trusty technology, but he kicked Aaron in the balls, causing him to fall into an empty abiss. He was never seen or heard from again. But no one remembered him anyway. This happened in 2006 which was the same year Jimmy's show got canceled. However in 2007 Nickelodeon had a Jimmy Neutron special called Genius, Sheenius, or Inbetweenius? where Jimmy was seen again, same as in 2009 where Aaron Carter was seen on Dancing with the Stars.

Jimmy stayed with Hilary for five hours after that fight, upon realizing how dumb Hilary herself also was. (Not as bad as Jessica, but really close.) Breaking up with her as well, he sold her to goth-prince lead singer of the most hardcore gothic punk band out there called Good Charlotte, known as Joel Madden. Joel and her have been together, even before Duff was even legal for him. Jimmy also had a short lived sexually charged relationship with Gary Glitter.

It has also been rumored that Jimmy might live a bisexual life and that he actually likes it in the ass too. There's evidence suggesting that Jimmy has been seen holding hands and making out with Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory. Unfortunately the couple has not been seen together again ever since Jimmy cheated on Dexter with his sister DD and got her pregnant.
Here, a most recent picture of Dexter himself.

Anime Debute

Back before Jimmy got his show on Nickelodeon and guest star appearances on Bill Nye the Science Guy, Jimmy went into Tokyo, Japan for a few years. He met up with some Japanese animator, and they began on their own action-packed, kickass, and scientifical action/comedy/romance anime, called Jimmy Neutron: The New James Bond. It is hard to find on even DVDs, these days, since the show was so underrated and hardly any bit known, it didn't make enough money to survive. However, on rare occasions, Adult Swim gets the compulsion to show it on their channel... when no one's watching their channel in that time period.

Music

One of the many CDs Jimmy had played bass in MCR.

Jimmy is also into the music businass. Jimmy has now currently joined the Christian band My Chemical Romance, creating the new genre better known as Christian-emo. On that note, Jimmy has also turned into an emo kid. He slits his wrists regularly and writes fake Myspace suicide notes for sympathy.

Jimmy is the new bassist for MCR, As Jimmy had murdered Mikey Way just to get him into the band. They are now working on a new album, available on Emo Jesus Records. The album is claimed to be called Razorblade Science. After The Album Lead Singer Gerard Way Quits As The Rest Of The Band Follows And Because Jimmy Became Emo He Slit His Wrist And Died On June 4 2008.

Though Jimmy is gone for good in this heartless world, his first solo lack-of-effort into music was a rap album called "My Science Fo' Shizzle" that flopped hopelessly and sent several listeners into a coma.

MySpace

Jimmy is also none other than the creator of the infamous online hell, Myspace. Created to warp the minds of his fellow Christian-emos, it accidentally attracted the whole planet's most idiotic people to walk the face of the Earth. But it became a trend, and made him rich. Who cares?

Under the identity of 'Tom', with a fake photo ID, Jimmy adds every member automatically, as creator, even if they're a pedophile. In fact, that's how Jimmy found out his father was one.

Jimmy's job to be taken seriously on this site, is to basically pretend to be older than he actually is, so that people believe that he created the site. His age was listed around 21-120.

Myspace had also attracted none other than Satan, whom converted Jimmy to drop his Christian faith, and join him in the dark side. Together with Satan, his new boyfriend after dumping Virgin Mary, ruled over the eternal pit of hell... or Myspace. Emospace, Hellspace, same thing.

In fact, Jimmy and Satan had met over Myspace, and had talked over AIM in AOL slang for hours, realizing how much they really had in common. In fact, here's a segment of that exact conversation:


Neutron182: hi

DevilDaddy: ... hoo iz dis?

Neutron182: i saw ur myspace. i notcd we had a lot in commn.

DevilDaddy: o rly?

Neutron182: ya rly

DevilDaddy: lolz!

DevilDaddy: so

DevilDaddy: asl?

Neutron182: 10/m/california

Neutron182: u?

DevilDaddy: 85,234,567,789/m/hell

Neutron182: lolz rly?

DevilDaddy: ya rly

Neutron182: u sownd hawt

NADER1061: HEY! dont forget about me

Neutron182: Who the hell is this?

NADER1061: Its me....Ralph Nader

Neutron182: Didnt you rape me last week?

NADER1061: YAAAAAAH.......

Neutron182: any way u sownd hawt

DevilDaddy: sam hr

Neutron182: do u lik siense?

DevilDaddy: only cuz itz agenst mai asshol brutha, god lol

Neutron182: kewl

DevilDaddy: r u into guys?

Neutron182: i usd 2 lik chiks, but dey all wr retrdd

DevilDaddy: LOL!

Neutron182: ROFL

DevilDaddy: roflmao

Neutron182: omfglolzbuttsecksroflmfaokk

DevilDaddy: hay

DevilDaddy: wanna cybr?

Neutron182: lol kk

DevilDaddy: just toking 2 u maks me horny

Neutron182: i neva hd asssex be4

DevilDaddy: den letz cyber, n den u tell me wre u liv lol

DevilDaddy: or u can cum ovr 2 mai place

DevilDaddy: ???

DevilDaddy: waddya say?

Neutron182: sur!!!!!11

FredtheDark: OLIOLIOLIOOOOOOOOOOO!


... Obviously, we're stopping here, since no one wants to read the conversation on Satan and Jimmy Neutron cybering.

Porn Star

To earn some money, since at the time Jimmy was broke due to no one wanting to pay him for his shitty science ideas, he decided to work in the porno business. He met up with director Quentin Tarantino, the one responsible for the sick, twisted porno-horror movies of today. They are currently working on a new movie called Dick Worm, and is set to be released into theatres this winter. The movie stars Jimmy, along with Jessica Beil, and is about a boy who is about to get laid with a hot chick he meets at a bar, and right after a whole half of the movie dedicated to nudity and sexual innuendo, it is revealed that the boy had unleashed the horror of the giant flesh eating dick worm. The film is obviously rated R, unless they want it to be even more underrated and in an NC-17 rating.

It is also heard that Jimmy makes a cameo in the movie Hostel, near the beginning of the movie getting laid by one of the chicks at the whore house.

After blowing all of his money from pornos on cheap, French Canadian gigolos, Jimmy desperately needed a way to support the most terrible addiction of all....sodomy and heroin. After selling his body for years and just barely surviving on fifty doses of black-tar heroin and just one gigolo visit a week, Jimmy made a deal he would forever regret. In search of money, Jimmy headed to the worst loan shark of them all, the Pope. Jimmy's terrible addiction to manchowder clouded his judgement as he signed a contract that stated he would not owe the Pope any money, but instead the Pope would pay for Jimmy's sexcapades if Jimmy agreed to allow the Pope to pillage his body on demand. Jimmy was terrified. This was the same contract with which Cindy tormented Jimmy on a daily basis. This was truly his darkest hour.

War in Iraq

On 9/11, Jimmy had heard about what had happened, and had automatically realized that they were dealing with Afghanistan. Then Jimmy's arch rival, Bush, had decided to send America into war into Iraq to bring 'democracy' into Iraq. (Which in Bush language, is code for 'sodomy')

Jimmy kept trying to convince them otherwise, in fact even creating an organization against it. This organization, or cult, was called Shouting Highly Intelligent Townspeople, otherwise known as S.H.I.T. However, this failed to get any actual intelligent people to join, but only LSD addicted hippies.And Michael Jackson

Despite how he was against the war on terror and the president, Jimmy joined the military, where he was enlisted to help the soldiers in Iraq. However, he was rejected quickly when he only got shot in the leg, but only because they wanted to come up with a dumb excuse to get rid of him because of his large head. He tried to make his head small but then blew it off into pieces but somehow still lived.

After the war, Jimmy went back to Satan, and they settled down in Las Vegas, where they had illegal sex, illegal drugs, and illegal drinking. Theres a video on the internet of 3 cows having sex.

Nickelodeon Mind Control

Herb Scannell, aka some dumbass who works at Nickelodeon and likes cancelling shows that are actually entertaining, was one day sitting in his office with his Spongebob sex toy/plushie and a cup of coffee, when suddenly Jimmy barged in on him. Spilling coffee all over his plushie, Herb fell to the floor in tears of emoness.

And after about an hour of this, finally Herb had stood back up, acting like nothing had happened, considering that he gave his Spongebob plushie to the Snuggle bear, whom raped the Spongebob doll with its furry l33t powers.

Jimmy had forced Herb, at gunpoint, to allow his show to stay on the air, along with Spongebob (Though Herb whored off of it too much to listen to the nuns who complained about the show's homosexuality displays), and instead make only sucky shows and add them to the Nickelodeon line-up. That way, Jimmy's television show would receive more views, since they'd be desperate for entertainment. Afterall, fucking gay shit over the years like Phineas & Ferb, and recently, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody are total FOR DA FAIL. Jimmy also used his hypno-ray to be able to convince the Nickelodeon staff to go along with his plan.

Nobel Prize

With Ben Hawkings in second place, Jimmy had won the 2003 Nobel Prize award. However, this happened by total accident, due to some dumbass accidentally choosing him. Third place was a pebble. He then got really drunk then went up on stage and said "hey people!!! STUFF!! yeah dats right! STUFF!!! y'know bitch I am da best I just SOOOOOOOO soo soo so.. wait I FORGOT! ha ha ha !!! th.. th. THAT is So funny that im gonna..." then he jumped on a guy and started have sex with him.

The Sweet Life of Jimmy and Satan

He's beautiful

Satan and Jimmy are currently living in a quiet, nice suburban home, in the outskirts of hell. Their hobbies include giggling over their favorite boy bands, and watching tragic soap opras like As the World Turns and Dragon Tales. They also love cooking burnt and disgustingly made cookies and muffins in their Easy Bake Oven, in their favorite shade of pink.

They both share the same master bedroom, with a huge, fluffy bed, for hot yaoi demon/human boy sex every night. Dam u should really watch dat vid! The cows on goin CRAZY down there!!!

Trivia

  • Ashlee Simpson is a huge fan of Jimmy, and tried to strip for him once. Though her nose and fake boobs repulsed him.
  • Satan and Jimmy were getting married in November 2009, before the latter died.
  • It is also rumored that Jimmy is now under male preg of Satan's baby.
  • Cindy Vortex is rumored to be a lesbian and to have relations with Libbi.
  • Carl Wheezer was just recently discovered to be a girl. No one knew before, since not even the doctors wanted to check. Jimmy found out by raping him after a fight with Satan, and was traumatized for a month.
  • Sheen Estevez went to jail for 10 years for two convicted murders.
  • Osama bin Laden and Jimmy are best pals that meet up to hang out at the lounge every Tuesday.
  • After listening to some of Jimmy's scientific speeches, some children in his class got seizures, and died. He was sent to jail for 55 years because of this,but after 30 minutes in prision he raped all the guards then ran to hell.
  • Tom Brady, from "A Sweet but Sour Death of iMac or Tom Brady" is one of Jimmy's ex-boyfriends. Their child, ProBi, is a porn star.
  • Jimmy killed all of his friends, under Satan's request, and buried them underground, along with Cindy.
  • Jimmy is a cheap knock-off of Dexter.

Fatherhood and Death

Jimmy's untimely death came to end after raising his only son to be a man/demon/thing. After having been dumped by his boytoy of three years, Satan, Jimmy was left in care of their evil, mutant lovechild. The court ordered Jimmy to act as the child's father even though it was proven multiple times that he was not it's biological parent. As the years went by, Jimmy and his omnisexual child grew up with a deep dislike for one another. While desperately struggling to put the child through elementary school, Jimmy began working his first steady job in decades as an accountant at a local FedEx. Each night, Jimmy would return home, stinking of cigarettes and self-pity and cook his son (At birth, Jimmy jammed a red crayon in the child's crotch and called it a penis) macaroni and cheese before passing out on the family couch, still stained with semen from Jimmy's various sexual partners. The boy, who was eventually named Forrest by a sleep-deprived Jimmy, was burdened with most of the household chores. While his only parent was passed out on the couch, Forrest would turn off the stove, turn off the coffee pot, turn off the washing machine, turn off the radio, turn off the bunsin burner, clean the cheese-covered dishes, swap out the rat traps, swap out the bug tape, unclog the toilet, unclog the sink, finish his homework, and remember to cover his father with the only blanket the two owned before proceeding to rape him in his deep slumber. This continued for twelve years before Forrest graduated high school and moved out of his decrepid house, his father still passed out on the couch. Forrest moved in with his longtime girlfriend, Jamie Lynn Spears, and briefly attended Stanford Buisiness College. At this time, Forrest received a call from Jimmy, who told him to return home for one final adventure. Assuming his father was in another alcoholic rampage, Forrest drove his crappy 1998 Ford back to the house of his childhood. Expecting to see Jimmy with no pants on, Forrest entered the house with a Polaroid camera. Upon opening the door, Forrest was shocked to see his father being held at knife point by none other than his old friend, Sheen,who had not died of his injuries Jimmy had inflicted on him after all. While claiming to not care if his father died or not, Forrest noticed Sheen beginning to lower the knife. Jimmy took this opportunity to turn on his once good friend and stab him in the gut with a nearby broken beer bottle. This victory was short-lived, however, as Jimmy fell to the floor, suffering from a slit neck justifiably sustained from his homocidal friend's aptly-named henchmen, The Killers. Forrest ran to his father's aid and held his head in his arms, not bothering to clot the blood in any way. As he lay dying in his only son's arms, Jimmy confessed through bloody garbles that he loved Forrest, and that, next to Jimmy Neurtron: Boy Genius, he was the only thing worth-while he had ever made in his life. Tears in his eyes, Forrest thanked Jimmy for raising him right and keeping him from living the terrible life his Dad had lived. Slowly, Jimmy died from massive blood loss in Forrest's arms. Although he died happily, Jimmy's soul was sent to Hell, where he and Satan reconciled and made the most hideous love imaginable atop the bodies of Sheen, Carl, Libby, Cindy, and Judie Neutron.

See also

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This article uses material from the "Jimmy Neutron" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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