Montenegro: Wikis

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Up to date as of February 05, 2010

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Crna Gora
Црна Гора
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "The biggest little nation in Europe"
Anthem: Oj, svijetla majska zoro?

Montenegrin Cyrillic: Ој, свијетла мајска зоро?
"Oh, Bright Dawn of May, Why are You Looking at Me That Way?"

Capital iPodgorica
Largest city iPodgorica
Official languages Monte, Zott, Negro, Pionir
Government Selfproclamed Parliamentary republic
  President   De jure Dmitri Medvedev

De facto Vladimir Putin

National Hero(es) Aragorn
of Independence
Currency coins: Nokia 6300

banknotes: Nokia N95, 8GB

Religion Lazyness

Montenegro is a country located in Southeastern Europe.[1] It has a coast on the Adriatic Sea to the south-west and is bordered by Croatia to the west, Bosnia and Herzegovina to the northwest, Serbia to the northeast and Albania to the south. Known for its intimidating size and scope, advertisements within Serbia tout it as being "like a whole 'nother country."



Montenegro first burst onto the scene in ancient times, when an independence movement emerged in opposition to the Illyrians, who had been occupying the land. Not willing to be a part of a nation whose greatest accomplishment was inclusion into a mod for Rome Total War, the movement gained momentum. Though early battles were decisive defeats for Montenegro, the addition of the night battle feature gave a needed boost to the movement, and independence was achieved.

While they were soon conquered by the Romans, this didn't squelch the movement for independence - nor did their subsequent re-conquering by the Venetians, Ottomans, Austro-Hungarians, Germans, Poles, Hobgoblins, Yugoslavians, and Serbians

In 2006, knowing that Serbia had fought brutal wars to prevent the secession of other parts of their nation, Montenegrin leaders cautiously presented the Serbian government with papers stating their intent to secede. But, knowledgeable about the poor track record of empires who occupied Montenegro, and their propensity to collapse dramatically - the most notable case being that of the Hobgoblins - Serbia decided to cut its losses and allow Montenegro to leave.[2]

Strangely, even though Montenegro is in southern Europe, all of its inhabitants are black. Hence the name "MonteNEGRO". Large controversy surrounds the question of weather or not someone is truly a "negro" if they are from Montenegro.


While control of Montenegro has shifted, their mountainous terrain provides for a climate perfect for growing starchy, tuberous crops. Both stem tubers, growing slightly above the ground, and root tubers, are especially popular staple foods. In addition to these, bulbs from lesser plants are a commonly eaten and formed the most common currency before the adoption of the Euro. Bulbs from tulips, and even garlic, are squeezed into lush drinks and consumed for their nutritional value. Most of these items are harvested by hand, using spades that are additionally made of dried tubers, typically of the woody, hearty variety.


  1. Some scholars dispute this claim.
  2. Kosovo didn't get the memo.

See also

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Montenegro.

External links

Socialistic Federal Republic of Yugoslavia

Montenegro | Bosnia and Herzegovina | Croatia | Slovenia | Serbia (Kosovo) | Macedonia

This article uses material from the "Montenegro" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

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