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Up to date as of February 05, 2010

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NBC Showing Americans and the Rest of the World its Pride. And by pride, we mean Keith "I hate Republicans and especially hate George Bush" BLOWberman.

NBC (Never Been Crappier Television Network or Nothing But Cunts) is a propaganda machine operated by Left Wing nut jobs that is disguised as a television broadcast network biased for every liberal money-grubbing Democrat in the United States that has been delivering the very best in news to Americans through radio and television networks.

NBC News is a biased news source that fills Americans' heads with liberal propaganda that is also the most untrusted name in the news industry. Since 1926 NBC has been Filtering covering news that matters to every American. During the 2008 Political season, NBC had the highest rankings for following Obama around and drolling at the Second Coming's every word equally covering both political parties interests and platforms so that Americans could listen to us and vote for Obama make informed decisions on their own unlike those other fair and balanced biased networks in the television industry like CNN & Fox News.

Contents

The Daily News

Who cares about a American fought war over here.....
When we can tell you how unfunny tonight's Saturday Night Live with Sarah Palin is going to be.

NBC has been screwing up their daily news broadcasts ever since the News Department's creation in 1926. Rather than reporting on news that matters to the average American, NBC would rather talk about their mediocre prime time shows during the news. NBC also hates to cover any news about a war being fought in Iraq or other global conflicts, that is unless its about George Dubya Bush doing something stupid. Reports about any global conflicts will end soon after the inauguration of Barrack Obama since President Obama is the messiah and will not make any mistakes.

The Local Weatherman always doing something stupid when he should be giving you the weather.
Your local news team working every day to bring you the very best in news. You stay classy San Diego!

NBC also has a morning news program that talks about things that are only of interest to a hard core liberal. Their favorite morning subjects include talking about how we need to be more green and how overweight the typical American is. NBC is also famous for jumping to conclusions and making sweeping generalizations to make the news more sensational. In 2005 NBC would probably said that "There is not enough evidence to prove any global warming." Nowadays a NBC broadcast tells people to panic, more hurricanes are coming, and tells everybody to buy a Toyota before the polar ice caps melt leaving the world flooded.


Even more hysterical is the networks hate of any international or world news. When asked about tribal fights in Africa NBC usually replies "Who gives a fuck they're always fighting over there." The only international news that they cover is the war in iraq and they fail at that too. NBC can go weeks on end without saying anything about the war in Iraq.


NBC also operates their news networks with more local stations. Stations vary from city to city but usually its two anchors a man and a woman who like to make dumb jokes when telling the news. But the most out of place reporter is always the weather man. When you can't see him he will start talking to the anchors on the screen and they will have a 10 minute conversation with the anchors. When he finally gets around to doing the weather he tells you that its raining and that global warming is making the temperature go up.

NBC Shows

When Sarah Palin starts rapping and singing during an SNL sketch you can't help but wonder why NBC has let the show stay on the air this long

Jay Leno NBC has failed so miserably with their so called Prime Time lineup they recently signed on tired old Jay Leno to create a daily comedy sketch show from 10:00 - 11:00 PM EST every night. This will save the failing network millions of dollars in production costs which they can use to promote more of their Left Wing drivel. Critics hailed this move as exciting as they were growing tired of yet another season of ER and there are just so many pedophiles they can catch on DATELINE NBC (see below).

Conan O'Brien recently took over the Tonight show. But NBC, being the jackass they are, can't settle with a hip new audience. So they got rid of Conan and will moving Leno back to the Tonight Show, paying Conan 30 million dollars so he can go take his show to FOX.

Saturday Night Live Used to be a funny show but they let it stay on the air too long. They usually have one good sketch about New York Governor David Patterson (because its fun and cool to make fun of blind people) or Obama but then Sarah Palin sings for the rest of the show and it gets old fast. Former SNL stars Chevy Chase, Steve Martin and Davey and Goliath have all signed sworn statements with the CIA and the National Association of Broadcasters confirming that SNL now "really fucking sucks ass".

The Office American show that was originally a British show that was actually Japanese. Actually not a bad show ... they really ought to go our and find a real network instead of dealing with the bozos at NBC.

Chuck To be honest, Chuck is perfect. It requires nothing else. Except for the fact that maybe Chuck could use his new matrix skills to kick Jeff Zucker in the nuts and wake him up.

Scrubs This is actually an excellent comedy program. New ideas and refreshingly good acting make this one of the best comedy programs on TV. Hats off to NBC for having such a great show.

(Oops! Was just informed that NBC canceled this great show. But no worries - ABC has picked it up so you have yet another reason not to watch NBC).

My Name is Earl Juvenile show written to appeal to liberals people with a 2nd grade education or lower.

DATELINE NBC This pseudo news program is loved at NBC because it is cheap to produce and is an easy way to spread more liberal propaganda tackling the tough issues of today. The show is famous for surfing the internet for men looking to hook up with young girls, attracting them to a nice house and interviewing them. After all, what's more entertaining than interviewing pedophiles? They also love to find stories that involve people getting hurt or knuckleheads that are really friggin guilty going to prison and whining they didn't do it. That's how I want to spend my night .. watching felons and pedophiles. This Is Must see TV!

Notre Dame football. They suck. They lost to Connecticut, for God's sake! Fight THIS, Irish!

In the new series called "Go Ape!", chimps are dressed up in clothes and run around saying wacky things. What could be funnier than that??
Excerpt the new series called "Go Ape!" - It's a chimp listening to an Ipod! I don't know about you, but I am just laughing my ass off! NBC has created yet another hit series!

Plans for New Programs over the next 5 Years

NBC has revealed several approved projects for programs that will premiere over the next five years. These new programs include the following gems:

Parks and Recreation

Amy Poheler plays some small town mayor or something. It comes from the guys who made "The Office", so we know it'll be good.

Gone Ape!

Gone Ape is a program all about chimpanzees that are dressed up like humans and run around with gum in their mouth so their mouths move so clever comedy writers from SNL and other washed up losers that will work for peanuts incredible comedians can make the chimps say really wacky things.

In the pilot episode, the main chimp (who the genius writers called "Bananas") gets a job as a jockey at the local race track but then accidentally drinks a fifth of Grey Goose Vodka and hilarious hi jinks ensue! The laughs include Bananas winning all his races while intoxicated and an especially wacky scene when a talking horse tells Bananas to "trot over to package store" to get some more vodka before the 8th race".

The laughs get uncontrollable when Bananas finds out that the track refuses to pay him for riding the horses to victory because he doesn't have a Social Security card and the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) storms the track looking to deport him back to his home at - the zoo! (Are you howling at these gems or what?) But clever Bananas (who is much smarter than us dumb humans) manages to evade the INS and the show ends with Bananas flying a jet from Detroit to Minneapolis for Northwest Airlines as the Captain of the aircraft. The show ends with Bananas jumping up and down in the cockpit because the Flight Attendant has just told him there is no banana flavored vodka on board.

GO APE! Is scheduled to premiere in September 2009. The network has signed on [Jason Alexander] who is desperate for workof Seinfeld fame to do the voice of Bananas and washed up has been famous actor Tony Danza will do the voice of "Chipper", Banana's sidekick.

Meanwhile, NBC has indicated the fifth episode will be "a very special GONE APE! episode". An intoxicated Bananas will discuss global warming and it's horrific effects on everything and everybody. Algore will guest star for this biased, left wing environmental wacko propaganda very special program.

Won't it be fun to listen to this poor sap apologize over and over for using the "N" word during an ill advised rant a few years ago?
Sure - he only said something racist once in his life and was trying to be funny ... but leave it to NBC to exploit that mistake and paint Richards and anyone who is not as liberal as them as racist. That my friends is MUST SEE TV!

The Michael Richards Show

After numerous complaints about bias towards those backwards ass Country fucks and religious zealots that don't understand the way the world should be Republicans and Conservative thinkers, NBC has decided to do something about it by creating The Micheal Richards Show. Many will remember Richards for his delightful portrayal as [Cosmo Kramer] in the last television show NBC had on that was worth watching hit TV show "Seinfeld". Well, Richards is back ... but this time he will be continually apologizing for an incident that took place several years ago that has haunted him ever since .... what could be more fun than that?

Richards' career took a horrific nosedive after a racist rant in a nightclub several years ago when he used the "N" word during a stand up routine in a comedy club and media whores like NBC that love to ruin people's lives over a single mistake the ever vigilant media reported the incident for months and ruined his life ... NBC figures giving an obviously racist right wing asshole who was properly tried and convicted by NBC alleged racist like Richards his own show creates "balance" for it's liberal, always correct and never wrongleft leaning news department while subtlety promoting the idea that anyone who is not as liberal as they are is as bad as Richards is! Plus, this allows NBC to crucify this once network headliner for an eternity help Richards clear his good name for a mistake he made years ago and has apologized for numerous times.

Program Note - NBC had originally planned ""The Dubya Show"" for this time slot but former President George W. Bush was not interested. Apparently, Richards was the only celebrity desperate brave enough to participate in such a ridiculous and exploitative exciting and ground breaking endeavor.

The News will include main character Marie Richards and her friends Rhonda and Phylis. You GO GIRLS!!
The News is a fresh new program in development for 2011.

Another program in development is The News. This comedy is about a local news team that has a perky and energetic writer, an older, sage writer, a grouchy, drunken yet wise News Director and a moronic anchor man.

The energetic writer's name will be Marie Richards and she will be the main character. The News Director will be names Drew Grant. The dumb anchors name will be Fred Baxter and Marie's co writer will be known as Murray Cotter (how do those writers at NBC come up with these gems??). Also included will be several of Marie's friends ... Rhonda Morgansperm and Phylis Windstrom. NBC writers have already announced plans for spin off shows for Marie's friends and her boss (One show will be called Rhonda and the other will be called Phylis for Marie's friends. The third show will be called Drew Grant and will change Drew's role from fumbling drunkard to serious journalist.

Slated for 2011, this show is still under development but the professional writing team at NBC says The News will be "a fresh, never seen before comedy experience. More details to follow.

Test Pattern - the return of the popular show that was broadcast between Seinfeld and ER in the mid-90s. Here's a sneak preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PUIiQNcnZM&feature=related

EDITORS NOTE: Those poor sport, lowlife losers over at the FOX Network who kick our ass on a regular basis claim The News is based on a 1960's - 1970's comedy program called The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Check out their quite accurate and damning flimsy evidence here http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065314/. And their claim that most of our other shows were stolen from the BBC is accurate crap!

NBC Sports

NBC Sports has signed a contract to be the Official Network of the Detroit Lions. NBC and the Lions have a lot in common.
NBC Sports has awesome sports planned like their intense coverage of man on man figure skating. Men love guy on guy figure skating.

NBC Sports has announced they have signed on to be the Official Broadcast Network of the NFL Detroit Lions. They will now only broadcast Lions games and will only broadcast playoff and super bowls when the Lions are in the games. NBC feels their new alliance with the Detroit Lions better reflects their feelings about the future of their network.

The Detroit Lions and NBC certainly have a lot in common.

This will fill out NBC's complete exclusive sports coverage program that includes Notre Dame Football, Tampa Bay Lightning Hockey, Washington Nationals Baseball and, of course, their exclusive programs with the ever popular only in Europe and not here because we know soccer is a fag sport MLS and the you have to be kidding me WNBA. Plus any other sport that has a limited audience and is really friggin cheap to broadcast other networks don't have the guts to broadcast. And let's not forget about all that great figure skating they like to broadcast all the time - true sportsmen really love to watch gay men in tights skating around on the ice making effeminate moves.

BTW ... Is it me or was scheduling figure skating after an NHL game on New Years Day one of the worst programming decisions of all time?

See Also

CNN (More Liberal Bias)

Fox News (If you prefer conservative bias rather than liberal.)

Dan Rather (More Liberal Bias packaged in a convenient, self important ahole)

Rush Limbaugh (Same as above only Conservative Bias)

JNNN TV Anda (A real propaganda machine that blasts out more bias than Fox, NBC and CNN put together)

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NBC is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.

This article uses material from the "NBC" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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