Neville Chamberlain: Wikis


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Uncyclopedia

Up to date as of February 05, 2010

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His most famous quote "Cheese in Our Time."
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Neville Chamberlain.

Neville Chamberlain was Prime Minister of Great Britain from 1937 to 1940. He was made famous for bringing back to London a sheet of paper given to him by Adolf Hitler . It said Thank You Nev written in shit.

Contents

Not Up To It

He was the son of Smokin' Joe Chamberlain and brother of Austen-Seven Waxwork Chamberlain and had seemed an unlikely candidate for high office. Chamberlain admitted that he 'hated foreigners' and anything beyond the White Cliffs of Dover and liked to spend boring weekends fly fishing in knickerbockers. So it was Britain's bad luck that he became Prime Minister in 1937 with sod-all qualifications when dealing with dictators and especially ones called Adolf.

Chamberlain was also very interested in Scatology and understood the German leader liked to bottle his excrement for visiting dignitaries. He was another European leader who fell for this old trick in bodily intimidation. The British Prime Minister believed he was following a policy of appeasement when in fact it was more like abasement..in that it meant to agreeing to one sided deals that always ended in a big stink.

Returning to Downing Street, Chamberlain was cheered by crowds shouting Piss In Our Time and retired to a back room to do a 'smell test' Hitler's letter. Satisfied that it was the genuine article , the note was kept in a bottle and stayed on a dusty shelf for the next sixty years. It was later incorporated into the Labour Party's manifesto for 2001.

It didn't take long for Hitler to disillusion Chamberlain though he offered other incremental/excremental letters asking for British favours for the next twelve months. Finally Chamberlain said 'No' and declared war on Germany in September 1939. He lasted a bit longer as Prime Minister before Winston Churchill locked him in the secret Downing Street lavatory and became Prime Minister. That was the last anyone saw of Chamberlain.

The prewar joke

One of the best jokes of all time was as the picture shows the "peace treaty" between Britain and Germany. This was the last greatly funny joke before the war broke out.

Notes

Neville Chamberlain is not to be confused with either Winston Chamberlain, a saucy postcard seller in Brighton or Neville Churchill a centre forward for Arsenal in the 1930s.

See also


This article uses material from the "Neville Chamberlain" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

Alternate History

Up to date as of January 30, 2010

From Alternative History

Neville Chamberlain, born Arthur Neville Chamberlain (18 March 1869 – 9 November 1940) was a British politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1937 to 1940. Chamberlain is best known for his appeasement foreign policy, and in particular for his signing of the Munich Agreement in 1938, conceding the [[Sudetenland] region of Czechoslovakia to Nazi Germany. When Adolf Hitler continued his aggression, Britain declared war on Germany on 3 September 1939, and Chamberlain led Britain through the first eight months of World War II.

After working in business and local government and after a short spell as Director of National Service in 1916 and 1917, Chamberlain followed his father and older half-brother in becoming a Member of Parliament in the 1918 general election at age 49. He declined a junior ministerial position, remaining a backbencher until 1922. He was rapidly promoted in 1923 to Minister of Health and then Chancellor of the Exchequer. After a short Labour-led government, he returned as Minister of Health, introducing a range of reform measures from 1924 to 1929. He was appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer in the National Government in 1931. When Stanley Baldwin retired in May 1937, Chamberlain took his place as Prime Minister. His premiership was dominated by the question of policy towards the increasingly aggressive Germany, and his actions at Munich were widely popular among Britons at the time. When Hitler continued his aggression, Chamberlain pledged Britain to defend Poland's independence if the latter were attacked, an alliance that brought Britain into war when Germany attacked Poland in 1939.

Chamberlain resigned the premiership on 10 May 1940, after the failed Allied incursion into Norway as he believed a government supported by all parties was essential, and the Labour and Liberal parties would not join a government headed by him. He was succeeded by Winston Churchill but remained very well regarded in Parliament, especially among Conservatives. Before ill health forced him to resign, he was an important member of Churchill's War Cabinet, heading it in the new premier's absence. Chamberlain died of cancer six months after leaving the premiership.

Chamberlain's reputation remains controversial among historians, with the initial high regard for him being entirely eroded by books such as Guilty Men, published in his lifetime, which blamed Chamberlain and his associates for the Munich accord and for allegedly failing to prepare the country for war. Most historians in the generation following Chamberlain's death held similar views, led by Churchill in The Gathering Storm. Some recent historians have taken a more favourable perspective of Chamberlain and his policies, citing government papers released under the Thirty Year Rule.

Chamberlain features prominently in various timelines across the multiverse, including:



This article uses material from the "Neville Chamberlain" article on the Alternate History wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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