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Up to date as of February 05, 2010
(Redirected to Hitler the Red-Nosed Reindeer article)

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Adolph the Red-Nosed Hitler was Adolf Hitler's half-brother. A gene mutation gave him a glowing red nose and other unique features. Consequently, despite the similar given names, there was never difficulty telling them apart, although his brother grew a toothbrush mustache, just to make sure.

Though abnormal, the nose made Adolph look more elegant when marching and it glowed beautifully in the dark, attracting women. Adolph the Red-Nosed Hitler has been known for trespassing, backyard-grazing and eating out people's gardens and bushes. The police hunted him but it was a guerrilla war and Adolph hardly appears simian. Adolph's tactics, such as Surprise Buttings and Butt Kicks, prolonged this hunt for 17 months, until Adolph was nearly frozen to death while taking a bath. Adolph was caught, sentenced for his several offenses, and released into the depths of Sumeria.

His life at Sumeria

In Sumeria, Adolph adapted to the life of the Sumerians. He settled in the city of Sumer to a harsh life, eating only when necessary, on the brink of death. Adolph tried to get a job and finally became a lantern at the Street of Elmo district, warning cars when they neared a corner. He eventually quit and became a salesman of Christmas decorations.

The Sumerian government took due notice of Adolph's capacity for self-defense, and installed him in the Navy during the Great War. He fought in the Gunboat battles against Hittia. Although his formal title was Forward Beacon, he also showed skill at gunnery. He received the Sumerian medal of honor for shooting down the Flying Desert Tiger with nothing but a Panzerfaust. For schizophrenia and showboating, he received the Red Circle.

His Death

Adolph the Red-Nosed Hitler In the Army (Portrait)

Fatefully, Adolph wandered into the wilderness after the war. He came to the Limpopo River where a snake lived. The curious Adolph asked the snake what it ate. The snake said "come closer so you can hear what I say." So Adolph went nearer, but too near and was thus eaten alive by the great python.

His Song

Adolph, the Red-Nosed Hitler
Had some very curious views
And if you ever heard him,
You would know he hates the Jews

All of the other Germans
Used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Adolph
Play in any German games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Satan came to say:
"Adolph with your nose so bright,
Won't you kill the Jews tonight?"

Then all his followers loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
"Adolph, the Red-Nosed Hitler,
You'll go down in World War 3!"

This article uses material from the "Hitler the Red-Nosed Reindeer" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

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