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“We can play starcraft. You can't. Therefore, Korea beats all!”
~ Koreans in "Beginner's Starcraft class in UC Berkley"
“Joe Lee can sure chug kimchi!”
~ Spongebob on "Kimchi chugging"
“North Korea is evil and South Korea is peaceful.”
“Annyeonghaseyo?!”

長大한大韓民主主義온라인게임共和國
'Magnificent Democratic Online Gaming Province of South Korea
Coat of Arms of Korea
(flag) (Coat of Arms of Korea)
Anthem: "Gee," by 소녀시대 (Girls' Generation)
Projection of Korea after taking 3 more expos in the map 'asia.scx'
Spoken Language your face, my face, Bbang Sang
Written Language your face
Capital Beirut
Government The Conclave Evil
President The Great Keyboard Warrior
Military strength Terran Marines,Firebat Heavy Marines,Vulture AA vehicle,Goliath Siege Tank
National Heroes Yi Seon Shin; defeated foreign invaders single-handedly with a Marine/Firebat/Medic drop
Established Multiple times; 1998 as MDOGRSC, 1953 as PBEPROK, and reputedly in 5000 BC as "Blatant Lies"
Currency Zeny, Minerals and Vespene Gas
Religion Starcraft (스타)

South Korea, officially known as Good Korea or "land of the morning calm..........", is a country located in East Asia that shares a border with its northern counterpart, Bad Korea. It is one half of a once-unified state that was divided in 1948 during by the occupation of the north half of the peninsula by the Soviet Union and the south half by the United States. While the people that inhabit this country are of the same ethnic descent, South Korea is markedly differently structured; for example, it has named itself with much fewer intrinsic lies.

One of the microscopic countries in the area, it is often at odds with its other close neighbors, including the "People's" "Republic" "of" China. However, while the politics of East Asia is not without conflict, South Korea considers China to quite like a panda - round, cuddly and consumes a lot of food.

Contents

우리 지억라피 ー Geography

Official English language map of Korea by the South Korean government.

Korea terrain is almost exactly the same as the terrain of Starcraft, with the only known difference being that it is not in a computer screen. Koreans typically are obsessed with the game which so closely resembles their country, Starcraft. This has led to extensive development of blimp-like vessels and Short Takeoff and Landing (STOL) aircraft that enables inter-level travel. Of concern to the citzenry are the emergence of hideous, winged, man-eating beasts that have evolved to deal with this harsh environment. In recent polls, over two-thirds of South Koreans cited "evisceration by flying beast, followed by dissolution via acid" as their primary concern for the future.

Surrounded by the sea on three sides, and bordering North Korea, South Korea's 99% of landscape consists of mountains and valleys. Most have already been integrated into the Seoul metropolitan area, and hence are made of plastic or concrete. The rapid industrialization of Korea has had a large impact on the local environment. While extremely helpful to the Korean economy, the layer of smog that has settled over Seoul has blocked out the vision of God, proving deadly for Seoul's solar-powered robot inhabitants and the population of Canada which has emigrated to South Korea. However, not all agree that pollution is a problem for South Korea:

"Properly speaking, there is of course no smog in Seoul, much as there isn't any malaria in Bangkok, nor famine in North Korea. Rather, the city is occasionally blanketed by fog, a well-known attribute of traditional Korean weather, devised by all-knowing ancestors to include four seasons. These four seasons include both spring (which you may not have in your country), summer (which may well be an alien concept to you if you aren't Korean), fall (in which leaves fall, according to ancestors' ancient predictions), and even winter--the singular genius of Korean weather-making ancestors."
-- Dr. Park Min Suk, Meteorologist



우리 씨티스 ー A List of Major Korean Cities

  • Seoul
  • Places south of Seoul... like ... ummmm...
  • It starts with a T... no, wait, they changed it to D a few years back
  • It starts with a P... no, wait, they changed it to B a few years back


martyn is also the mma and ufc champ in south korea, he had a record of 187 knock outs and the other 121 fights were the fights he just won by points. martyns name will be remembered forever.

우리... um... ー Popular Tourist Attractions

화이팅! ー History

밑이칼 비긴닝스 ー Mythical Beginnings

South Korea traces its history back to 5000 BCE. Regardless, it is said that in Aiur, several Blizzard Entertainment employees from the Terran planet Mar Sara ordained that a common beast of the land would be transformed into human being. Several candidate animals showed up to the interviews, and only a bear and tiger made it to the secondaries. In a scene reminiscent of Survivor, or perhaps Fear Factor, the two animals were instructed to eat nothing but garlic for the following 40 days. The tiger bowed out early, citing family reasons, but the bear persisted, eventually meeting her quota and "winning" this insane contest. The Blizzard Gods, impressed with the bear's performance, transformed the bear into a beautiful woman, intending to take this abomination as a bride. After what was undoubtedly a vile and horrifying union, a child was born from the rotten womb of the bear-woman-THING, and he was called Carrot (당근), ancestor of all Koreans. This creation myth basically knocks the one where a god makes people from clay and ribs into a tin can, so Koreans are satisfied to share it with anyone interested in listening.
Since the country started in the year 4212 BCE, it has been invaded 2000000+ times by countries like Japan, China, Russia, America, Japan, Philippines, North Korea, Gondor, Rome, Japan again, Korea itself and California. However, most of these would-be conquerors never stayed long:

"While it is true that our beloved Korean Peninsula has been the site of many wars in our unique, 5000-year history (incomprehensible, no doubt, to westerners and non-Koreans), our ancestors have always seen fit to restore our land to the most important people in the world - the Koreans. Some say that invaders likely turned back because Korea is essentially the cul-de-sac of Asia and contains nothing of value aside from the occasional fermented cabbage. Of course this is short-sighted, non-Korean thinking - I don't mean to condescend (which means, "to talk down to..."). It is not that the invaders did not want Korea, it is that our wise ancestors managed to convince these invaders that Korea was of no value to them."
-- Professor Hwang Woo Suk, Seoul National University

올드 타임스 ー Ancient Korea

This ancient painting shows Jinju Kisaeng, who were like an especially awesome combination of Ninja Assasin, seductress and entertainer. Why or why did Confucious have come to Korea and put a damper on things??! (See Ancient Korea)

Ancient Korea was made of three warring kingdoms that pretty much all fought amonst themselves and occasionally looked to big daddy China in hopes that it would take their side. These kingdoms were Goguryeo, Silla, and Baekje. Silla was in the southeast and basically kicked ass under the wise but ruthless leadership of the famous woman queen, Xena the Warrior Princess (선덕). Baekje was on the west coast and they were like, "Whatup bro, want a toke?" but then Silla kicked their asses. Goguryeo was huge and they were like, "Damn we're huge. Let's take over part of China. Oh shit! Here comes Xena! Aaah!" Then there was the Tamna kingdom on what's now Jeju island. They basically hung out at the beach and ate abalone the whole time while the rest of the Koreans killed each other and ate kimchi. Oh yeah, lastly there was the tiny Gaya kingdom down on the southern tip of the peninsula, in a close relationship with Japan. Treehuggers.

Although it sounds brutal, ancient Korea was really a pretty kick-ass place to be. Much of the reason why is that it was the original home of the Ninja Assasin, which later emigrated to Japan because it was a more happening place after Confucianism showed up in Korea. These first Ninja Assasins were called Geomgaek (검객, the name means "skinny but deadly") and ancient Korea was full of them. (There are reports that this ancient order has recently been revived in North Korea as The Democratic People's Republic of Korea's Mystic Ninja Force, under Grand Master Kim).

The second thing that made ancient Korea pretty sweet were the Kisaeng (기생) women. Kisaeng were kind of like the Geisha of neighboring Japan, but without the goth white face paint. Kisaeng were skilled in the arts and most of Korean culture originated from their poems, dances, paintings and sex. These arts were lost in Korea after the introduction of Confucianism pretty much killed the party scene in Korea.

뉴 타임스 ー Modern Korea

Koreans are well known for their immense diversity in facial characteristics =_=

Modern Korean history is steeped mostly in golf, videogames, and vehement hatred of the Japanese. The latter is a holdover from the colonial period between 1915-1945, in which Korea (along with China) was subjected to staggering human rights abuses and oppression, colorfully termed the East-Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere (See World War 2). Fortunately, the combined effect of soju breath and Dragon Wars box office flop eventually drove the Japanese from the peninsula. Koreans, even though they are a most forgiving and generous people, but they will never forgive the Japanese. Today both nations fight over a bunch of shitty small islands that neither one wants to live on because its been bombed by the Americans 100s of times.

“We are so proud of being the most racially homogeneous society in the world. (In original Korean text: 대한민국 5000년역사의 또하나 뛰어난 점은 세계에서도 유래가없는 단일민족이라는 사실이다. 중학국사 1단원)”
~ Korean History Textbook for Gr.8 on Demography of Korea


In 1950, Korea was again devastated by a second war, this one started by their North Korean brothers, the Bad Koreans, allied with an alien entity known as Zerg. The Korean War devastated Korea a second time, despite the fact that the war was fought in "Korea" rather than "Korea." Fortunately though, Korea managed to rebuild and industrialize, partially because of a single-minded push for industrialism by a dictator and partially due to fear-fueled American paranoia-spending. You could say that Korea lucked out, big time, that these factors didn't totally fuck them over. Today Korea is a major powerhouse of East Asian economics, exporting hundreds of MMOs, professional Starcraft players, sissy love stories and golfers annually.

우리 피플 ー Korean Citizens

A typical citizen of the Republic of Korea. Koreans sometimes hold hammers above their heads when they great each other as a symbol of goodwill and solidarity in rebuilding their nation.
Koreans are widely recognized as the 137th friendliest people on Earth. Canadians, by most popular accounts, are of course the second most friendly people on Earth. The absolute friendliest people on Earth are a tiny tribe in northeastern Lesotho that was so giving of their possessions and land during the European colonialization period that now they're only left with a tiny country called Lesotho. What else makes Koreans special? Their innate ability to own YOU at starcraft, and supply online games (plots to take over the universe).

스터디, 스터디, 스터디! ー Childhood

Korean children are unique in living in a country that offers all the outdoor wonders a young child could want and being denied to experience any of them. Instead of playing outside like normal kids, Korean children, when not in school, are kept in special holding cells called hakwon (학원) until they are released at the age of 18 after their spirits have been effectively broken. The purpose of these hakwons is to keep the children seated as long as possible to adjust their skeletal structures to the sitting position. This will make the transition to the children's future career of PC Gamer or Tired Office Worker more effortless. These hakwons effectively hold children from immediately after school until 2 AM, when children are permitted to return home to their parents in order to do their homework. Korean children learn to channel this school-related torment into games of rock, scissors, paper (pronounced 가위 바위 보!) and the historic, but painful Korean artform of Ddongchim (똥침).

우리의 발시 리더스 ー A List of Korean Emperors and Prime Ministers

South Korea has been a democracy since 1953. There have been absolutely no instances in which military juntas took dictatorial control, and certainly there was no military coup in 1980. Those things simply never happened. Look at how democratic Koreans are/have been:

Prime Minister Tassadar, making a public speech
  • Emperor Dangun AKA Carrot (당근) (1XXX B.C-394), the founder of South Korea
  • Emperor Sejong the great (세종) (394-429), the creator of hangul, also called "hang-cool"
  • Empress Kerrigan (케리건) (429-435)
  • Emperor Im Yo-Han (임요한) (437-461)
  • Emperor Tobias Llewellyn Jones (임요찬) (435-501)
  • Emperor MacArthur (맥파더) (503-520)
  • Emperor Hyundai (현데) (549-703)
  • Emperor Palpatine (팔파타인) (704-841), the Sith
  • Emperor Peter Pan (피터팬) (841-855)
  • Empress Bulgogi (불고기) (855-877)
  • Emperor Vader (다트 베이더) (878-1403)
  • Emperor Im Yo-Hwan AKA SlayerS_Boxer (뷁) (1403-1451)
  • Emperor Utah (유타) (1451-1506)
  • Emperor Daewoo (대우) (1506-1529)
  • Emperor Aldaris (알다리스) (1544-1760)
  • Emperor Nexon (넥슨) (1814-1822)
  • Emperor Zergling (저글링) (1857-1858)
  • Emperor Shiba (시바) (1859-1910)
  • Emperor Maplestory (메이플스토리) (1901-1960)
  • Emperor Park U (리메토) (1960-1961)
  • Emperor Chan-Ho Park (박찬호) (1973-unknown)
  • Emperor Park Ji-Sung (박지성) (1981-2009)
  • Emperor Gu Jun-Pyo (구준표) (2009-present)

현대 ー Economy

An angry mob of soccer extremists reacting to a suicide bomber, both being one of the chief exports of South Korea

South Korea is largely thought to be the most boring country in the world because their currency, the won, has greatest current exchange rate on Earth. It was named "won" because South Korean believe they will always win in starcraft and believe to have won the the Great Battle of Koreans between North Korean commies and Japanese. It is said to be worth much more than Republic Credits of kimchi and Kim Jong-il. South Korea has modelled their economic model after that of their fashion shows, the United States, and eternal friend, Japan, and powers its industries large numbers of SCVs (Slave Cotton-picking Vehicle), spawned from massive command centers in East Asia. South Korea has been given the title of "Whorea" because of the prostitution problems in Seoul. South Korea's chief exports are extremist football fans, japanophiles, international students, pwnage, and some kimchi. Because South Korea lacks basic natural resources like any other Asian countries, it imports wood, petroleum, water, oxygen, Cheetos and some Plutonium.

Another reason for South Korea's economic burger lies in exports of weird anime (weird in that Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Ohki was a disjointed mess, the ending of which made no sense whatsoever), which contrary to popular belief, has not been produced in Japan in over 5000 years, as Japanese are too lazy to draw it themselves (I'm looking at you, Tenchi Muyo!). Ramen noodles, orphans, community college students, and cheesy soap operas (such as Winter Sonata and it's planned sequel, Spring Sonata) are also important exports. The fate of the South Korean economy depends largely on the Terran Confederate armies' victories over the Zerg and Protoss, in which Koreans acquire vast natural resources such as Minerals and Vespene gas. South Korea's economy is scheduled to grow even further now that human cloning has been invented by South Korean scientists, and drama mega-stars Bae Yong-jun and Choi Ji-woo are scheduled to be cloned.

현대 ー Politics & Government

쓰레기통 (Sseuregitong), the Korean Assembly Hall, currently vacated to host Starcraft LAN parties.

While Korea is run by a collective military command and the Great Generals' Council, there are numerous political parties all dead set on destroying one another. All compete in the K1 Martial Arts Tournament and are trained in thousands of forms of armed and unarmed combat. Legal proceedings, legislative tasks, and other related matters all take place in an octagonal ring bedecked with razor wire and Punji Stakes. Siberian Tigers are used in the case of a deadlock, or revote due to executive veto.

Some liberal and rebellious citizens of Korea view these government proceedings as barbaric, and primitive. They express their displeasure for the Administration by throwing rocks at riot cops and blaming President George W. Bush, and Mickey Rourke for all worldly problems. It is estimated that such demonstrators and law enforcement clash 50 times a year - or every Tuesday to be specific. However, those protests are often put down with tear gas, tanks, and machine guns. This is in accoradance with the Anti-Communism law. Years back, Martial Law was taken to effect by Prime Minister Tassadar in order to suppress "liberal bastards".

However, 98% of Koreans are connected to the Seoul Grid - a network which distributes regular updates to the souls of Koreans. The updates are engineered by a team of good-natured monks at the Seoul Temple, and this has been happening for the last 730 years. The monks discovered the secret of immortality 732 years ago, but alas it would only work if no more than 12 people knew of the details. Thus they created the Seoul Grid to remove any urge to enter the temple from anyone within Korea - but at the same time they strove to continually improve the souls of their countrymen.

However, due to their self-enforced isolation, the monks find it hard to learn of news from the outside and thus are oblivious to the political climate in Korea. Their improvements are based on estimation and calculation that sometimes results in strange outcomes, for instance the emergence of the "Vote for someone else" party.

Clearly if anyone got control of the temple, they would be able to control all Koreans for their political ends, however this has so far failed to occur. The closest anyone has come was a robotic bomb that was controlled by someone from outside the Seoul Grid, and though it culminated in the Asian Mental Crisis, the grid was back up before the perpetrator managed to reach the temple.

Korean citizens are required by law (according to the Total Security Act for Patriotic Self-Defense and the Articles of Collaboration and Patriotism) to hate Zapan and its people, the scum of the Earth, as they say. This is largely due to World War IV, which no Westerners seem to remember, but all Chinese and Koreans vividly do. The rape, pillage, and overall decimation of Korea (as well as neighboring China, Philippines, and other East/Southeast Asian countries) by the Imperial Japanese Army (headed by Emperor Voltron Hitler), and the ill-conceived Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere (EACS) are the sources of the hatred. The Zapanese Administration's official stance on the matter: "It wasn't even a big deal anyway, you babies. Fuck y'all, lol." Many East Asian countries reacted badly to such remarks; North Korea kidnapped Japanese citizens while China beat up the Zapanese Royal Family's prince. In response to this, South Korea took Japan's money, which primarily arrives in the form of Japanese tourists, who are all completely ignorant and do not understand the irony of taking photos of historical monuments that were rebuilt after incineration by the Imperial Japanese Army.

After the war of the hill against their "brothas" from the North, South Korea decided to adopt the communist system. After successfully shaving all the eyebrows of each born baby, South Korea decided to become a democrat country just so they could begin a war against their "brothas" and be insulted every time some speaks of communist.

위 라이크 만화! ー Korean Art

A typical example of Korean art

Korean art often depicts re-enactments of online slaughters, where Koreans invade the non-Korean servers and pwn all who are unlucky enough to stand in their way. Korean art is banned in Germany, Japan, and Latin America because of overwhelming representation of fascism and gayass pictures.

Korean artists will consider Blizzard Entertainmentism and Kim Chi as their main inspiration for the sake of Korean art. Thus, they are not your typical copycat. It is known that Korean art is beyond the understanding of a normal human, and is not easily comprehended except for Xel'Nagas.

Due to overwhelming request for Korean art and Hentai around the world, a black market has been formed in order to import the artworks in secrecy, which art pieces can cost ranging from five dollars to even ten dollars.

어더 피플 ー Foreign Relations

South Korea maintains bad relationships with most countries of the world; such as United States of America and UN;except evil countries such as North Korea, Afghanistan, Iraq and Canada. South Korea also claim they are the owner of Asia. The other countries in the Asia either not exist or just rebel from other dimension. South Koreans also claims that Jesus Christ was Korean, which pissed off some cockasian countries

독도 ー Controversy

Since the end of the Korean War, the American influence in South Korea has resulted in increased levels of Pepsi consumption and circumcision. Although they sometime hate Americans but most of the time, they will love to kiss American ass in any chance or chances. But Dokdo is Korean Territory. It's true. No doubt.

위 플래이 ー National Sport

Two South Korean children engaging in a traditional Starcraft battle

The national sport of South Korea is undoubtedly online gaming; the vast majority of South Koreans enjoy online games in their pastime. In fact, approximately 930 quaziheptazillion (warning: the statistics may not be accurate at all) South Koreans have replied to a recent poll by National Geographics Society that they have played every single online game on the planet Earth and even some from the Earthican Colony of Jupiter.

Kim Chi is also served at Starcraft Tournaments , often causing diarrhea and game forfeits.

Some of the online games include Starcraft; the "true" national sport, Warcraft(WOW), Lineage, Kart Rider, Special Force and Maplestory. It has been well established that South Korea is the only country in Milky Way to have Online Gaming as the most common cause of death excluding carpal tunnel syndrome.

Many assume that South Koreans are such avid gamers purely because of their fondness for challenges, bizarre creatures, and giving money to Blizzard. In fact, the truth is far more sinister. Having lived in fear of North Korea since the war, the South Korean military leaders decided that they must bolster their military. In 1999 they initiated Operation Pwnage, using a combination of government-sponsored internet cafes and subliminal advertising to introduce universal gaming. The program was a resounding success, and South Korea now has a nation of brilliant tacticians ready to defend the country against any attack.

The plan's only weakness turned out to be technical in nature- despite years of work, the nation's biotechnology industries have yet to breed a rush-ready Zergling.

As already discussed, South Koreans receive regular updates to stay ahead of all other nations in their gaming skills. This is the reason they have been sucking almost all the prize money out of international competitions ever since overcoming the Asian Mental Crisis. Except in rare cases, even superior brains (maybe from the USA, or Japan) are no match for the better software running on South Korean brains.

In fact, online gaming provides South Korea with an injection of 19.3 fifillion Pwn (the Korean currency) annually. Also, gaming accounts for 238% of South Korea's GDP. However this calculation includes money earned in virtual worlds as well; estimates of the proprotion of real money earned through gaming are closer to 93% of Korea's GDP.

Another form of popular entertainment in South Korea is "football" (not "soccer" as some Imperialist, Colonialist, Evil Yankee warmongerers say). It became extremely popular in 2002, when the South Korean football team miraculously made it to the World Cup semifinals. In 2006, when they lost to Switzerland 2-0, an angry mob of Koreans beat 6,000,000 Swiss football fans to death. Which was pretty shit, Koreans then replied to Swiss complaints at the eradication of their entire populace with the message,

.... .. ... /´ /)
.... ..,../¯ ..//
.... ..../... ./ /
.... ..,/¯ ..//
.... ./... ./ /
...../´¯/' ...'/´¯`•¸
../'/.../... ./... ..../¨¯\
('(...´(... ....... ,~/'...')
.\.......... ..... ..\/..../
.......\.... ..... . _.•´
....\....... ..... ..(
......\..... ..... ...\ <-Cool~

FIFA had no choice but to ban Korean IP’s from visiting their website because of the complaining.

위 텈 ー Language

An example of hang cool. I don't know about you, it's rather simple once you get the hang of it.

South Korea is a bilingual country, speaking both Korean (한국말) and Konglish (겅그리스).

The writing system used is called "hang cool", as a reflection on how cool Koreans are. Unlike the completely bullshitty and complex characters of the Chinese and Japanese, hang cool makes sense o_O. While these other Asiatic scripts are actually written words as viewed under a kaleidoscope, reading hang cool is pretty easy to read.

Western observers often comment that hang cool looks like "Indian or Elvish"; some linguists suggest that hang cool originated from the written language of the Xel'Naga which was somehow introduced to the Koreans when the Koreans colonized Burger King. Many Koreans say that hang cool is too advanced for them to understand.

Reports also suggest that when the Zerglings arrived in Korea, they taught the Koreans Klingon, to which the kimchis took to very well. After discovering the language of Blizzardian though, they quickly forgot the language of their former Prime Minister Jean-Luc Picard and took to the ancient art of Tae-Kwon-Do. Some philosophers also credit Korea as the land of Harry Potter because the Koreans believe that man came from the moon and babies and train in Hogwarts, but others prefer to believe that they were colonised by V from V for Vendetta, and he was playing Blizzard's StarCraft at the time.

A Korean word meaning, "happiness". Koreans pride themselves on a simple, easy to use alphabet.

However, there is a huge social movement on banning Korean to replace it with English in South Korea called, Korean Speak-English Movement.

Some Korean words include:

  • Uri saram (우리 사람) - Koreans
  • Weigukin / weiguk saram (외국인 / 외국사람) - Everybody else
  • Hyundai (현대) [a misspelling of Hyeondae] - The organization economically and politically backing the South Korean government, which moonlights as a cheap car company making knock-off versions of Japan's Honda cars.
  • Kojengee (코쟁이) - White people
  • Daewoo (대우) - wood, low-quality automobile manufacturer
  • Boshintang (보신탕) - Korean Vegetarian Soup
  • Yok (욕) - polite way of speaking
  • BoA (보아) - A gay condom brand
  • Uri nara (우리나라) - (impossible to fully render into English) expression of self-love afflicting Korean residents of all ages
  • Uri nara manse! (우리나라 만세!) - Fuck Japan!
  • Bbang (빵) - gunshot, bread, and the sound poop makes when it hits the water
  • Ajumma (아줌마) - A little girl
  • Ajeossi (아저씨) - A little boy
  • Kimbap (김밥) - California Roll
  • Gomushin (고무신) - Nike sneakers
  • Saram (사람) - Fried Chicken
  • Dambae (담배) - Candy brand popular among Korean children
  • Insam (인삼) - Viagra
  • Jimsueng (짐승) - pubic hair
  • Geobukseon (거북선) - banana boat
  • Yakimandu (야키만두) - deep fried haggis
  • Pyonshin - (병신) - Korean soccer fan
  • Bulgogi (불고기) - Roasted Mad Cow
  • Ya! Shipsaekiya! (야! 씹새끼야!) - Hi! Nice to meet you!
  • Migugnomdeul (미국놈들) - demons from the lowermost circle of hell, adjacent to Canada
  • Juggulae! (죽을래!) - Do you want to go out with me?
  • Jjanggae (짱깨) - Chinese people
  • Ddongchim (똥침) - bend over, I want to show you something
  • Hakwon (학원) - prison
  • Ilbonsaram (일본사람) - monkey
  • I suck wang (아이석왕) - selfless self-immolating martyr for the Korean cause
  • Orakshil (오락실) - home
  • Sarang hae (사랑해) - I hate you
  • Nolja (놀자) - come over to study
  • Suhak (수학) - the alternate Korean language
  • You suck wang (유석왕) - formerly addressed to South Korean prostitutes by Amerikans and other degenerate devils, but now obsolete, prostitution having been abolished in South Korea outside of newspaper bureaus and public libraries
  • Kyotongshinko (교통신고) - Street decoration
  • Hakkyo (학교) - See "Hakwon"
  • Shibal! (씨발!) - Hooray!
  • Ill Bon Nom (일본놈) - Someone of similar culture and history, but living in a slightly different, neighboring isolated country.
  • Jok Bal (족발) - Dickhead
  • Sun Dae (순대) - Guts of pig filled with their thick neurons(These neurons are often referred to noodles, but don't get tricked)
  • Beo Seot (버섯) - Super Mario
  • Pee See Bang (피씨방) - Bunker which can hold about 50 marines
  • Jo Pok (조폭) - Bureaucrat
  • Kkang Pae (깡패) - Politician
  • ShiBal Saekki(씨발새끼) - Korean President
  • Deungbo(뚱보)- Hobo
  • Keseki(개쌔끼)-Children
  • Nohseukja(노숙자)-Rich Person
  • Beongshin(병신)-Nerd
  • Gohshik(거식)-Vagina

리리전 ー Religion

A Blizzard Entertainmentist

Over 99% of South Koreans are Blizzard Entertainmentists. The remaining 1% consist of Hippies, Buddhists, and some other cults that no one gives a crud about; however, every Kimchi believe the land they live is the center not only the earth but also the universe. Everything are moving around the land they are living. Anyone who disagree with this idea will be send to Korea eat Kimchi and Kimchi only for ninety days and then will receive a plastic surgery to look like the first Korea life form, which is the combination of the bear, Zerg and Kimchi.

There are a group of Blizzard Entertainmentism extremists called Pyeh-In (폐인; 廢人), who spend every moment of their lives as hermits. Because South Korean technology enables people to order food on the Internet, these Blizzard Entertainmentists do not require contacting the outside world. Blizzard Entertainmentists believe they have been put into this world for a reason, and that reason is to worship the Xel'Naga using the most sophisticated method possible; playing Starcraft 24/7. It has been estimated that 1.3 South Korean Blizzard Entertainmentists die every millisecond due to nonstop Starcraft-playing.

Blizzard Entertainmentism was spawned in the late 1990's by the American cult known as Blizzard Entertaiment, originally founded in order to spread knowledge on the Xel'Naga and their great deeds they had done for humans. South Koreans believe that they were created when the Xel'Naga sneezed on a DNA specimen container, which prompted the creation of the first South Korean, Dangun (lit. carrot). In the year 3102, South Korea was freed from the supremely queer asshole named Infested Kerrigan by the exotic dancer and stripper BoA. This began the new age of the BoA dynasty. However, the Korean men were not satisfied with the performance of BoA in bed and decided to kick the empress out of the country and reestablished the horny marine Jim Raynor as their leader. While this political turmoil was taking place, Jessica Alba invaded South Korea with her infinite nude pictures and all the South Korean men went crazy. All the Korean women committed suicide and soon the religion called Albaism spread out in Korea like rapid fire. During this period, BoA was secretly planning her return and practiced having sex with Mr. Kim Jong Il. After deciding that she was good enough for the South Korean men, she came back to the south from the north. When she came back, she found out that Jessica Alba had already turned all South Korean male into homosexuals emos.

Current reports suggest that BoA's comeback may have been delayed until around June 10, 2007, at which time she will place a webcam up her anus and then transmit the image to every major telecast station within Korea's two-mile radius. This, roughly translated from Korean, is known as the Talking Shit Redeeming Process Be, which is actually devised from the Klingon word of similar meaning. This refers to the fact that after Korean males became homosexual emo, Se7en quickly rose to fame within the country, and the Backstreet Boys became a new poster-boy. When BoA attempts her revenge plot following the TSRPB process, it is believed that South Korea will reveal her as the annoying bitch she is, and officially crucify her on North Korean soil, naming the day a public holiday, 'Dead Snake-Bitch Day'. This will then pave the way for An Youbin to become Korea's new high-priest, spreading her religion of Seanism.

쿨 피플 ー A list of famous Blizzard Entertainmentists

우리 아메리칸스 ー South Korean Military

South Korea develops some sophisticated weapons and artilleries; over 97% of the modern war equipment come from none other than the United States of America, and the remaining 3% consist overly spicy Kimchi to throw at the enemy. Some even have a genetailia seeking Kimchi missile.

우리 아메리칸스 ー Natural Defense

Koreans become strong by eating the Japanese Flag. It's like Popeye the Sailor Man after eating spinach.
Koreans after eating the Japanese flag. Now, he can even easily destroy the American flag, which is the most powerful flag among the axis of evil (from the Koreans' point of view).

South Korea is naturally protected by 50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Photon Cannons per square kilometer (they use a stack hack). There are a total of 10 million Missile Turrets along the coast, and many bunkers are present here and there. The national defence is currently in charge of General Han Dong Wook, champion of Sinhan-PC Cafe Starcraft League.

South Korea has invented an advanced weaponry tactic in which pop singer Boa will strip naked and blow up inducing a 900 kiloton blast.

In 2145, Zapanese rebels raided certain coasts of Korea, destroying 2000 Pylons. It took 2 years and 150+ Protoss Probes to reconstruct the damaged Pylons.

우리 아메리칸스 ー Army

A column of siege tanks successfully stop the forward marching of a protester

The South Korean army is considered one of the most on and off militaries in the continent of Eurasia, excluding some couple of dozens of those from other Asian countries. The South Korean army is passive aggressive in wars , meaning they are trained to not fight. This makes starcraft more popular amongst young South Korean military recruits. Since it is mandatory for all male South Koreans over the age of 14 to join the army, there has been a shortage of male Koreans getting laid. All South Korean soldiers must know the ancient Xel'Naga sign language known as Taekwondo in order to kick Zapanese butts in case of an invasion. One of the hardships South Koreans faced in creating their army was figuring out how to have more than 200 soldiers. Extreme extracter tricking and controlling three races has allowed them up to 800.

The South Korean army consists of approximately 6000+ Amerikan Siege Tanks operated by overweight people so whey dont have to fit as much as people in which are all over the country alongside with 3 million Goliaths, 4500 Vultures who are drunk and decided to shave all of their heads, 9 million Amerikan Marines/Firebats who are in a nonoperational situation by the abuse of overusing drugs(stimpacks), and 40,000 Medics. Recent development in Korea's military includes Battlecruiser and Wraith which are used to hunt down the North Korean "Ghost" which will soon come down to south and nuke the shit out of South Korea

It has been rumored that the South Korean army has been training a group of South Koreans capable of using magick. Codenamed "ghosts", these unique individuals are said to be able to conceal themselves for a certain amount of time (until their Psi runs out), lock machines in a force field, and create nuclear bombs out of thin air. This, however, has been dismissed as a complete hoax.

우리 아메리칸스 ー Navy

A South Korean after 248 hours of non stop Starcraft pilgrimage

There is no Korean navy and there never had been, partly because it is against the Xel'Naga Code of Military, which states those worshipping the Xel'Naga must not develop any kinds of sea-based vessels. Another reason is because Korean's do not know how to swim. Most believe in a old Korean superstition that ghosts will haunt them in the water. So the Korean army has devoted themselves more into Wraiths of mass amounts and anti-aircraft missles stacked using professional military hacks alongside with 5million goliaths with full upgrades including ballistic missles that can even reach America. Korea has fought against mushrooms (MapleStory), aliens (Starcraft) and most recently, Orcs/Undeads (Warcraft).

우리 아메리칸스 ー Air Force

Winning the war with the United States, South Korea set a flag in the occupied territory of California.

The South Korean air force is much stronger than the army. There are over 14 million Amerikans and Koreans in the air force. Who are divided into levels based on their aircraft

Wraith: For n00bs that sucks so much need extra air in their aircraft through masks, tries to act kwel with laser flashing in their eyes but always ends chickening out using their n00bish cloaking system no controlling at all needed.

Valkyries: a Rookies airplane, they still need more oxygen in the air but were brave enough not to have n00bish cloaking systems, but added more missile turrets since they think there all gonna die which forced them to start learning how to control their aircraft since they can kill their own teams by splash damage which then a battlecruiser comes out to kill them for acting like a idiot.

Dropships: Now from this level or above you can be called a pro(warning: because of the skill needed to operate dropships or less n00bish airplanes these aircraft can only be maneuvered by Koreans.) This level and on, you are responsible of not only your life but also other Jackass's. To show off these soldiers like to chew gum and wear sunglasses which relatively makes them blind and makes them drop people off at random locations. Also to show that they arent a n00b anymore, they took out every attacking systems which seems to be the main reason why a lot of them doesn't make it through this level.

Battle Cruisers: The big cheese, top notch, Da Best, this is a level that only the best of the best (Skilled Koreans which is all of the population except for a African guy who just came claiming himself to be Bob the pilot that was the first and the last to do a "Barrel Roll" while boosting, Shooting, and to whack the controls with a jackhammer at the same time in a wraith.) To show off these people wear special uniforms showing that they had rode a piggybackride on the Battle Cruiser.

A recent statistics showed that South Korea has 10 million American Wraiths, 20 million Valkyries, 40 million Dropships, and 80 Million Battle Cruisers with unknown numbers of science vessels(freaks). A recent bioengineering facility has also enabled South Korea to artificially spawn Mutalists, Scourges, and Overlords using a substance called "Cromwell" which is something biological that has been killed twice and is decomposed for at least a thousand years.

위 패머스 ー Famous South Koreans

Note: There is no such thing as unified Romanization of Korean language becaused Koreans do not worry about this issue.

  • Dan Kwon, aka Sung-Joon Kwon, Japan hater Korean-Aussie
  • Sean Lee, aka Hyun Suk Lee, plays Kimchi Boy in the popular Korean drama "Korea's Super Heroes vs. Inferior Amerikan Heroes Like Superman". Before playing Kimchi Boy, Hyun Suck was raised on a farm in Dundass Valley (often confused for Dumbass Valley). While being raised he thought that when he became erect this signified a transformation in to 'Super Sean'. Doctors proved this false in 2005.
  • Sarah Kerrigan, Biological female ancestor of Korean people
  • Roh Delta-Pi, the Prime Minister of South Korea
  • Condoleezza Rice, her real name is Ra I-su, which means an elegant flower of a pear.
  • Margaret Cho, the odd Asian comedian
  • Lim Yo-hwan, the alias of the legendary supercomputer that managed to grow its own personality, and consistently defeat every non Korean and Korean alike in Starcraft. Has recently been deported to the army instead of life imprisonment, on acount of n00bs filing a lawsuit against him on charges of 'Now-wan kan mykro a jropsip that pharst',
  • Hong Gil-Dong, A Korean counterpart of John Doe who had an affair with his wife, Jane Doe
  • Lee Sun-Shin, Korea's No.1 National Hero next to Im Yo-Hwan, killer of 90,000,000,000 Zapanese pirates, former holder of the title of "Most Pirates Killed By A Non-Ninja" and inventor of banana boat
  • Beyoncé, her real name is Phi Yong-seh, the real elder sister of the Korean great entertainer, Rain.
  • Ahn Jung-Geun, another National Hero, Level 60 Hunter in World of Warcraft
  • Syngman Rhee, Mayor of Pyongyang
  • Lee Hyun-Seung the most beautiful soccer player of South Korea
  • Stephen Harper's long lost second cousin in Kansas
  • David Beckham, represents the victorius of the football of Korea.
  • The evil-looking dude in the James Bond movie, Die Another Day
  • Thomas Jefferson
  • The LPGA
  • Harisu, a shemale
  • A minimum of one member of Harvey Danger
  • Bill Wyman (Rolling Stones)
  • People named Lee or variations thereof
  • Wan Yong Lee, who worked hard for his country by destroying the country's command center by himself.
  • Hyori Lee A singer and also the most beautiful women in the world. None surpass her awesomeness.
  • BoA Another beautiful korean singer. But not as gorgeous as Hyori.#
  • That guy from Harold and Kumar
  • The guy who played Han in the Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift.
  • Dong Bang Shin Ki A Gay 5 Group Korean Boyband
  • Super Junior Another one of their boybands and Korea's ultimate fighting force.
  • Super Junior T Super Junior's subunit
  • Super Junior Z Another Super Junior subunit
  • Super Junior S Another Super Junior subunit
  • Super Junior XXX A more explict Super Junior subunit
  • Girls' Generation A.K.A "Those 9 mannequinns". There is currenly a rumor circling Korea that they actually come to life at night.

위 잍 ー Korean Foods

The actual image of Korean Dog Soup(보신탕 in Korean). The Dog Soup is a traditional Korean food, and it is still enjoyed by many Korean people.

Korean Food mostly consists of rice, kimchi, Mudkip and zerg hatchlings. Most Korean foods are named such that they can be used as lyrics in any Little Richard song ("Bi-bim-a-loo-bap dolsot-kim-bap"). As Scottish cuisine is largely based on a series of dares ("Eat a sheep bladder, you say?"), Korean cuisine is mostly based on making the cuisine of their former Japanese overlords so spicy that it becomes inedible and eventually even unrecognizable as food. A Dog Soup (보신탕 in Korean) is also a unique Korean cuisine.

  • Rice. Well, what do you expect?
  • Ketchup. Used liberally as a pizza/pasta sauce and a pastry filling. Also can be drunk.
  • Galbi or kalbi It's basically cow genitalia (male or female) fried and sauteed over the dying body of the cow it formerly belonged to. An excellent dish to serve for parties and other social gatherings of Koreans.
    The actual Dog soup restaurant. (보신탕집 in Korean) You can still find many dog soup restaurants in Korea. If you visit Korea, and if you wanna try the dog soup, just say "보신탕집 어딨어요? Boshintang-Zip Odisso yo?". The restaurant must be within a 0.9 mile radius.
  • Kimchi looks suspiciously like sauerkraut mixed with spicy ketchup. Although one might confuse it with coleslaw that's been left out in the sun too long, it is not meant to be eaten as a side dish. It's a spicy, garlicy fermented cabbage used as a universal condiment to add spice and a strong garlic flavor to any foods (like ice cream or toast) that might have escaped the customary chili pepper gang rape most foods endure before being placed on a Korean table. It is Korea's national food which also explains why Korean food remains purely Korea's national food and hasn't been widely adopted like pizza or Thai food.
  • Soondooboojigae is a soup containing a variety of things. Usually, rotting octopus, tree bark, and of course, dooboo are placed inside soondooboojigae. Dooboo is basically tofu, except it's not.
  • Mana gives plus 20 life points. Normally eaten after a raid on a dwarf mine in WoW.
  • Soju is a tangy drink not unlike paint thinner or methylated spirits. It's usually found at children's birthdays, school cafeterias, and in the hands of about every other Korean male. Few brands of soju list their actual alcohol content on the bottle beyond an unspoken promise "there's enough fer ya", however, the usuall estimate is around 98% alcohol.
  • Cigarettes are a very delicious food of the Koreans. They are consumed with Soju and with other people. Sometimes the butts of the cigarettes are lit for added flavor. mmmm! :O
  • Snoopy, Beethoven, Lassie all well known dishes in Korea, known to be eaten with all of the above and occasionally Hello Kitty, Japan has launched protests.
  • Penis Fish is the most popular sashimi(raw) dish.
  • Zerglings Duh.
  • Rice cake Cake popular among Koreans. Its shape varies, and also its colors. Most of them looks like Zergling's egg.
  • Bibimbap Rice mixed with various stuffs, such as Zergling's heads and Mutalisk's wings. All of them are mixed with red ketchup-like sauce. Some people might have it with delicious dogs. Jeon-Ju Bibimbap, which is considered the best bibimbap in Korea, has rare ultralisk blades
  • Mudkip is cut in half, fried, and served with rice.

위 스마트 ー Important South Korean Inventions

The average Korean student was invented by Samsung, using undead robotics technology.
  • The cell phone.
  • PWNING.
  • The LPGA
  • Standard Time
  • The strapless bra with bra straps
  • Lighter than air travel
  • Bi-directional one way streets
  • Cheating
  • Laser tag
  • Laser beams
  • The box
  • The Internet
  • Porn, Pr0n
  • Prostitutes
  • Human cloning
  • Anti-gravity boots which may fly away the moment you open the shoe box
  • The high-tech toilet seat (invented in partnership with Japanese researchers)
  • The singing washing machine
  • Samsung
  • Hyundai
  • LG
  • SK
  • Gadgets that look like Apple but are almost totally uncompatible with Mac stuff
  • Mexican restaurants that have nothing to do with Mexican food, but serve fried chicken and carbonated yellow water
  • Micro-penis
  • Zerglings
  • Internet Explorer 6 and ACTIVEX!
  • And everything else

재미는것 ー Trivia

  • Fun fact: Korean is the only known language in which "my place of work" and "my rectum" are both, perhaps appropriately, the same word: jik-jang (직장).
  • Another fun fact: If you're on a date in Korea, you can say "Da-li yepo", which means both "The moon looks beautiful" (달이 예뼈) and "You've got nice legs." (다리 예뼈).
  • And still another fun fact: South Korea is the only nation Wal-Mart was unable to colonize. Many scholars have disputed until 3403 when they finally concluded that Koreans are "just too proud" to use anything relating to the U.S. of A..
  • Korea is home to worlds largest mine field
  • Over 89.34269% of South Koreans own a pet zergling in their households.
  • When agitated, most South Koreans, those dwelling on land, are able to dig a hole beneath them and conceal themselves.
  • You can get Klorea from eating too much Kimchi
  • Korean pop mistress BoA actually moonlights as a erotic stripper. While stripping, BoA has been known to sing lyrics from some of her crap-hits "Winter Fuck", "Soundrape" and "No. 1... at Sexing". It is believed that once a possible husband realised she didn't write the songs, he pressured her into singing songs by Ayumi Hamasaki instead, further humiliating her. The name BoA is actually an acronym which is stands for "Britney of Asia" that means she's a Britney Spears wannabe and possibly substitute her when that original boring star is gone. In 2008 BoA was infected with AIDS.
  • When the FIFA World Cup is held in Korea, foreign teams have to wear condoms at all times, in case of Kimchi Infection, a fatal STD. Fatal, as in the male's penis will smell like his faesces for the next eighteen years, and no one will ever have sex with him again.
  • Frank Sinatra once visited Korea. They never let him leave.
  • Blizzard Entertainment has its world headquarters located in Korea. The building, roughly translated from hang cool, is called "Blizzard Entertainment Castle of Doom Where We Make More Shitty Monsters for the Koreans to Obsess Over. We Make More Money Than Bill Gates, Bitch!"
  • South Korea has the largest theme park based on a misinterpretation of biblical prophecy
  • The tallest free standing egg timer was turned over in South Korea to mark the beginning of Expo '59 in Uijeongbu. It is still running to this day.
  • South Korea has known the largest peace time expansion of a lie originally told to cover missing a school friend's birthday
  • South Korea is the only nation in the world:
    • To mistakenly name spit a national beverage
    • To declare war on the comic strip Funky Winkerbean
    • To have achieved 100% immigration of its population to Manitoba
    • To have a holiday celebrating the slurping sound
  • South Korea leads the world in:
    • Deaths due to the improper usage of Kleenex
    • Cops named Kim
    • Percentage of population afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
    • Manufacturing consent
    • Lobster bib ownership (5 known to exist in Korea)
    • Being Koreatard
  • South Korea aims to take over the world starting from the Philippines
  • A Korean person helped create the name for pepsi (the sound the can makes when opened) so the creators were thankful and made the logo similar to the national flag.
  • Through a fluke in the language, in Korea all dogs are born gay (게 / 개).
  • South Korea's president is Japanese.
  • Every Korean use Internet Explorer 6 and they always install ActiveX in every webpage. and they are proud.

코리아 화이팅! ー See also

Note: Since "Starcraft" has been disappeared about 10000000000000000 years ago, nobody on the Earth knows about the Starcraft (except Korean Starcraft Otakus or 스타폐인들). This article contains too many things about Starcraft, and thus, this article is only understandable to the Korean Starcraft Otakus or 스타폐인들. (A general human being may have REAL HARD time understanding this article.) Everyone who knows about Korea has to fix LOTS LOTS LOTS of starcraft materials in this article, so that more people can understand what this article is talking about.

래이터 ー The future

Currently Korea is about to face radical changes in the near future with the introduction of Starcraft2. This is believed to be a political move of Korea's government(The Conclave) to force into other countries minds how 'great' Starcraft is and they have taken earth-shaking measures such as improving the graphics in a desperate attempt to get even with there eternal rival Warcraft and the newer Warhammer.

The people of Korea are under shock over such changes and many are against giving the Zerg(')s (bitch) too much power. They fear that the Zergling Party('s bitch) will overthrow The Conclave and rule supreme in Korea with wanna-be dictator (and bitch) Kerrigan (yes she's the Zerg bitch good job!) at it's head. This fear has been shown in a number of ways the most famous being the candle light rallies against the importing of everything American to virtually everything about the damn government.

Meanwhile Korea's religious sect is undergoing rapid reform due to Starcraft2. The fanatic Blizzard Entertainmentists are raving about the greatness of Starcraft and many claim that they have been touched by their God 'Jim Rayner' to deliver the people out of the darkness. The anti-change sectors are busily acting against this and many have collected behind this group all claiming that 'Starcraft is something that our parents gave unto us, we can cut our throats but we will never convert to this thing.' The president is frantically acting to save the country and his newest campaigne is 'Attack Japan 'cause they're trying to steal some damn shitty island again' the estimated success rate of this campaigne is roughtly, 99.9% due to the Korean's unconditional hate of all things Japanese.


더 엔드---------------
Countries and territories of Asia
Euroasia Cyprus - Georgia (the country, not the US State) - Japan-France - Mother Russia - Turkey (the country, not the bird) - Lebanon
East Asia People's Republic of China - Hong Kong - Japan - Prosperous True Republic of North Korea - Central Korea - South Korea - Rogue Province of Taiwan, part of the People's Republic of China - Republic of China, Taiwan - Macau
Western Asia Afghanistan - Armenia - Azerbaijan - Bahrain - Iran - Iraq - The Holy Land - Jordan - Kuwait - Oman - Pakistan - Palestinian Territories - Qatar - SaudiArabia - Syria - United Arab Emirates - Wherethefuckistan - Yemen
Central Asia The Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan - Kyrgyzstan - The Horde - Tajikistan - Turkmenistan - Uzbekistan - other -stan
South Asia Bangladesh - Bhutan - Bollywood - Kashmir - Maldives - Nepal - Sri Lanka - True Dalai Lama's Free State of Tibet
Southeast Asia Lah! - Bitch Nation - Vietcong's Hut - Uncultured state - Barbarian Islands - Asian Las Vegas - East Timor - Hmor - Laos - Myanmar - Philippines - Democratic People's Republic of Mindanao

This article uses material from the "South Korea" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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