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Uncyclopedia

Up to date as of February 05, 2010

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Welcome to the Mad House
For those who aren't going down to Uncyclopedia, not gonna have themselves a time; Wikipedia has a boring article about South Park .
“I hereby declare this day, Matt Stone and Trey Parker day for teaching me that my eyesight fools me and the world is really made of construction paper.”
~ George W. Bush on July 4, 2002
“I eat construction paper and crap this.”
~ Oscar Wilde on South Park

South Park is an American animated educational television series created by a pair of closeted sociopaths named Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Originally intended for children, the show unexpectedly gained a large following among Adult audiences, and has since become infamous for the sophistication of its humour, as well as its sharp, biting satire focused on a diverse range of targets; although more often than not, usually celebrities who need to shut up and Liberals.

The ongoing narrative has been lauded by many for being highly complex and difficult to follow if you have not seen any earlier episodes, unlike South Park arch-enemy #1 Family Guy, and revolves around the adventures of four extremely average children- Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick- and the melodramatic events of their lives as they grow up in the small, quiet, peaceful mountain town of South Park, Colorado.

Contents

Origins and Creation

It is still debatable which one's the bitch, and which one's the butch...

Parker and Stone developed the show from two animated shorts they created in 1992 and 1995, attempting to create one of the first internet viral videos. Unfortunately, no-one bothered to use Youtube back then, due to dial-up internet connection being the highest speed available. Many people would have perished from starvation if they waited for the the video to stop buffering, and so it was seen by barely anyone. However, leading actor George Clooney, being as fat and lazy as he is, managed to sit through the entire video loading up, surviving off a 24-pack of Cheetos and the blubber stored up in his own body. After finally watching it, he was greatly impressed and burned several copies onto CD and sent them to several Network Executives, most of them being the ones he hooked up with when he was in ER.

At first, 20th Century Fox was approached to broadcast South Park, but they refused adamantly, stating that:

  • A: They would not air a television show with so many similarities to The Simpsons.
  • B: They would not air a television show that was so vulgar and crude, relying heavily on toilet humour and racism.

After heavily rejecting South Park, Fox then immediately went on to acquire the highly original and sophisticated animated TV show Family Guy. Fortunately, the much less classier network, Comedy Central, agreed to pick up the rights to South Park and began airing it on August 13, 1997 to great success, consistently earning the highest ratings of any basic cable program.

Premise

Setting

“I have no idea where this road will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange!”
~ FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper on the main road into South Park

South Park is a small town located within the South Park Basin in the Rocky Mountains of central Colorado. The town, sometimes described in song as a "Pissant, Whitebread, Redneck, Trailer Trash, Mountain Town", has been enjoyed by tourists and residents for its peacefulness and its spiritual quality of life; no doubt in part from being twinned with the nearby town of Silent Hill. Unlike most isolated rural communities (See Deliverance), South Park contains a highly diverse range of cultures and ethnicities, including Jews, Blacks, Deers, Koreans, Peruvian Flute Bands, Chinese, Aliens, Crab People, Vampires, Goths, Canadians, Vampire-Goths, Indians-I mean, Native Americans, and most importantly, good
old-fashioned White People. A full list containing all of the population's names and their corresponding ethnic background can be found in South Park resident Eric Cartman's school project paper, Mein Kampf gegen die Juden.

Themes and Style

Each episode opens with a tongue-in-cheek disclaimer:

Just your average day in the Park'.
Warning: This program may cause severe mental retardation if you have no life and enjoy writing complaints to the Parent Television Council. If this applies to you, it is recommended that you turn the TV off and deny having ever watched this channel before.

Most episodes revolve around a plot serving as a parable for religion, politics and numerous other topics. Although it has been criticised by many high-art critics that this is not entirely evident till the end, with one of the characters using the "You know what? I've Learned something today..." speech in order to tie together what before seemed like a random collection of toilet humour gags, slapstick violence, vulgar insults, racism, sexism and downright disregard for human life into a profound message preaching about how we must change for the better in society.

Many of the attitudes and values of the show stem directly from the creators themselves. Adults in South Park are often portrayed as gullible, irrational, and prone to having distorted views on morality. Matt Stone and Trey Parker both use Kyle and Stan as their representative characters in South Park. However, due to both Matt and Trey being complete Psychopaths with a total lack of empathy, they identify more with the character of Cartman, and through him express their prejudice and hatred for anything remotely Human. They then attempt to justify their evil doings by having Stan and Kyle frown upon Cartman and express their disapproval, often saying "You shouldn't say that, man. That's not cool." Because of this, Matt and Trey manage to narrowly escape being convicted of inciting Hatred every single episode.

Characters

Eric Cartman

Eric Cartman
Stan playing Guitar Hero with Jack Black in a special guest apperance.
Kyle on LSD

Eric Theodore Cartman is arguably the breakout character of South Park and is a cult favorite. He is a fat, spoilt, racist, foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, ill-tempered and prejudiced fourth-grader living with his hermaphrodite, crack-smoking single mother/father. Many psychologists and school counsellors such as Freud and Mr. Mackey have expressed puzzlement as to where his personality disorders stem from.

Eric is notable for his hatred of any ethnicity or subculture that he is not a part of, giving special attention to the Jews and hippies. Fuelled by this rage, Cartman has proved himself a master tactician and a cunning genius when it comes to abusing people and tricking his classmates into doing his bidding as the Neo-Fuehrer. Cartman has received high critical praise for his character development, with many expert university professors and scholars highlighting the Shakespearian overtones of his character, in that during his quest to eradicate the world of the Jews, he has become one himself, going at great lengths to hoard any possessions or objects Kyle may want, as well as having a single-minded goal of owning $1 Million.

It has also been debated by leading Psychiatrists (mostly Freud) as to whether Cartman's intense hatred and urge to kill Kyle are mainly the result of misplaced Sexual Attraction. Much like the Oedipal complex, Cartman's feelings are so strong, yet he has been raised by society in a way that he may not understand them, that he believes he wants to kill Kyle rather than have sex with him. On several occasions Cartman has attempted to elicit sexual interaction from Kyle, at one point spending 3 back to back episodes trying to get Kyle to orally imbibe his scrotum and pubical sack.

Stan Marsh

Stan Marsh is arguably the de' facto leader of the group. He is noticeable for always wearing a puff ball hat and instinctively vomiting whenever he is sexually aroused (usually around Kenny). Although his exact placing is unknown, it is highly reasonable that he is quite high up on Cartman's list of South Park residents to be sent to the gas chamber.

Kyle Broflovski

Kyle Broflovski Or Brovlowsky... or is it Brovlovski... ski or sky? Anyway, he is the token Jew of the group, despite secretely worshipping the secondary Pagan god of Christmas, Mr. Hankey. He always wears a green hat, that if you squint your eyes really hard it looks like a dragon with a wig on. Kyle even earns his own special category as "Dirty jew #1" on Eric Cartman's list of South Park residents to kill.

Kenny McCormick

Kenny in a rare moment of not being dead.

Kenny McCormick is the token working-class kid who is so poor that his main diet consists of pancake waffles with no condiments, yet somehow managed to buy a Sony PSP. He resides with his family in the Ghetto, and is subject to the usual harrasments and insults that society can offer. Kenny is often regarded by the upper-class people in South Park as being America's worst nightmare, raised in a run-down house with three generations of hopelessness, poverty, and profanity. At the beginning of the series, Kenny was the main focal point of the plot, with each episode revolving around the mystery of "who killed Kenny?" It is revealed 0.75 seconds after the murder (on average) that They did it. They are then punished by being called "Bastards", and for the rest of the episode the surviving characters set out to solve the remaining subplot.

After six Seasons and roughly 843 deaths, Kenny decided to take a break from being viciously mutilated and stayed dead. After a nice holiday in hell, partying with Princess Diana and Ghandi, he then returned with demonic superpowers that make him strong enough to stay alive almost as long as the rest of the boys can.

Secondary Characters

Former resident of South Park; we do not speak his name.
Mr. Mrs. Mr. Garrison, another citizen of a South Park (shown here in his female form).
Steve Irwin stinging his heart out at Satan's Sweet 16 party.
  • Aunt Flow: Aunt Flow is the sister of Stan Marsh's mother. According to Stan's father, Randy, Aunt Flow visits once a month for a period of 4-5 days, during which time Stan's mother is easily irritated, makes unreasonable demands, forces Randy to sleep on the couch, and is basically the cause of much unhappiness for all members of the family.
  • Bebe Stevens - Basically, the fourth grade's resident slut with huge boobs. Clyde is her pimp.
  • Butters - Real name: Leopold Stotch (not scotch, dumbass). He is generally everyone's bitch by everyone's consent except his own. He enjoys playing with toy cars when not being smacked around or tricked into having sex by Cartman. After he was fired as as Kenny's replacment he became Professor Chaos and went on a mass-murder spree around South Park.
  • Clyde Donovan - The fat kid whenever Cartman is absent. Bebe's pimp.
  • Heidi Turner, Anne Polk, Millie, Red etc - Background girls that do jack all. Giggle a lot and bitch about people.
  • Ike - Also referred to by Cartman as "Kike", he is Kyle's little brother who was adopted from Canada. Due to his heritage, his head resembles something similar to Weebl and Bob.
  • Jimmy - T...T...To...ken cri... cri...ple #... #...2 (see Timmy). Comedian and member of the Cri... Cri... Cri..ps.
  • ManBearPig - A mythological creature comprising Half Man, Half Bear, and Half Pig (or some variance and combination of these. MIT researchers are currently working on it.) He must super-cerealisy be stopped, before he can... erm... I'm sorry Mr. Gore, what is it that ManBearPig does that is so bad for society.
  • Mr./Mrs. Garrison - Oh SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! She teaches the children all about world cultures and practices, such as Filthy Sanchez and the Hot Karl. AMBIGUOUSLY STRAIGHT, then AMBIGUOUSLY GAY, then VERY GAY, then TRANSSEXUAL, then GAY AGAIN. Now is female and STRAIGHT, Then LESBIAN, and then BECOMES A MAN WHOSE SEXUALITY IS UNKNOWN. She/He... erm... It enjoys baking, pissing sitting down and strutting. It had sex with its dad and has a gay slave. Man. What a fucked up but funny guy, girl....thing.
  • Mr. Hankey - Walking, talking piece of Christmas-poo that lives in the sewers underneath South Park. Hooooooowdy ho kids!!! Is often seen crawling along children's faces at night on Christmas Eve.
  • Mr. Mackey - Now, Uncyclopedia's bad, M'Kay! Uncyclopedia doesn't have real information, M'Kay. And doesn't expand your mind, M'Kay... Uncyclopedia's bad, M'Kay...
  • Mr. Slave - "Oh Jevuth Chrifft!" He is Mr. Garrison's boyfriend; and in school, the teacher's assistant (aka the teacher's ass). He breaks up with Garrison after the sex-change operation, and is currently married to Big Gay Al.
  • Mrs. Cartman - A bubbly-voiced, promiscuous crack whore who wears a poofy-neck sweater typical of 70s design and a red skirt.
  • Phillip - A dick-faced cock master, according to his comedic counterpart, Terrence.
  • Pip - The British kid of the school who is often degraded by Cartman for being "a French piece of crap".
  • Randy - Stan's dad, and part time moronic role-model. Like all fathers, he enjoys getting getting hammered and then fighting at Little League softball games, overreacting to any event that may threaten South Park, and Internet Pornography.
  • Terrance - A donkey raping shit-eater, according to his comedic counterpart, Phillip.
  • Timmy - The token cripple along with Jimmy...He enjoys playing Wheelchair Wars and shouting TIMMMMMAYYYYY!!!! He has Attention Deficit Disorder, contrary to Public Opinion in South Park.
  • Token - The only black-skinned kid in South Park. From the way he acts, though, he seems as white as Whitney Houston's nostrils on a Saturday night. And the way he has lots of money and flaunts it would bring to mind more comparison to the Jews than Kyle.
  • Tom Cruise - Contrary to popular belief, Tom Cruise will come out of the closet; but only as long as he can take the closet with him.
  • Towelie - A towel originally designed by aliens to dehydrate the people of Earth, he prefers instead to sit around and get high, like all anthropomorphic towels. He also reminds kids to bring towel with them wherever they go. When told that such advice is useless, he'll stubbornly attempt to refute the statement by saying 'it IS useful'. If they contradict him, he'll continue to say 'yes it is!' until the conversation hopelessly ends at some point. He will ask attending third party by-passers who might happen to be in the same room if they wish to get high. If they refuse, he'll say 'You sure?', producing a minimally awkward moment. If they refuse a second time, he'll wander away.
  • Tweek - A coffee addict who fears Coffee. He was lucky enough to replace Kenny after he died and went on vacation in Hell.
  • Wendy Testaburger - Hippie douche who cheats on Stan with anyone with a cock as Stan had his chopped off by Pedobear.

Plagiarism Accusations

Twin Peaks

Stan, Kyle and Kenny(dead as usual).
South What???

South Park has been criticised by fans of David Lynch (all 3 of them, as a matter of fact) of plagiarising many themes and ideas from his 90's TV show, Twin Peaks. Lynch has yet to comment on this, mostly because he doesn't care. However, his loyal and devoted triplet of fans have compiled the most damning of evidence, in order to take action against South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

  • Who Killed Laura Palmer?
  • Who Killed Kenny?
  • "That's a damn fine slice of Cherry Pie!"
  • "MOMMMMM... get me a piece of pumpkin pie, you lazy whore!"
  • A small quiet Mountain town with a bizarre and seedy underworld and overtones of the supernatural.
  • A small quiet Mountain town with a bizarre and seedy underworld and overtones of the supernatural.
  • James Hurley, a greaser who talks like "Oh my gawd, Laura Palmer" IS trapped in the closet.
  • John Travolta, a greaser who talks like "Oh my gawd, Mr Kotter" gets trapped in the closet.
  • Bobby Briggs gets used by his girlfriend in order to supply her with drugs.
  • Clyde Donovan gets used by his girlfriend(s) in order to supply her with shoes.
Jimmy Valmer


Seeing as David Lynch has not returned any of his fans' calls, or replied to their mail concerning this matter of plagiarism, they assume that he is so spiritual that he does not believe in using a phone or letters. So instead they intend to visit him about this travesty personally, as soon as they get enough money together to hire a car for the trip, as well as finding out where he lives.

Dick Cheney

South Park's bashing of supervillain Dick Cheney.

One night at the White House, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney were having a sleepover and up late, way past George's usual bedtime in order to watch Family Guy. While the commercials were on, George momentarily flicked over channels and ended on watching an episode of South Park. They watched it through to the end, with George giggling on the floor, and Dick grumbling slightly, a major compliment for any comedy show. At the end of the credits, this odd exchange was recorded by the White House security monitoring system.

Bush: Hey Vice.


Cheney: *grumble* what?


Bush: You know, one of those kids kinda reminded me of you.


Cheney: *grumblegrumblegruble* Which one?


Bush: Well, the fat one of course!


Cheney: *grumblegrumble* I don't know *grumblegrumblegrumble* Besides being fat, foul-mouthed, racist, intolerant, cunning, bigoted, mean-spirited, delusional, ill-tempered, prejudiced, narrow-minded, and calculating... I really see no resemblance.


[An awkward pause between George and Dick.]


Cheney: *grumblegrumble* Go fuck yourself...

Exteral links

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South Park is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.

This article uses material from the "South Park" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

Cybernations

Up to date as of January 31, 2010

From the Cyber Nations Wiki, the wiki dedicated to the Cyber Nations Game.

Vendeta
Capital Cell V
Alliance Affiliation Maroon Defence Coalition
Nation Team Maroon Team
Official Languages English
Government Revolutionary
National Holiday November 17th, V Day
Head of State V
Religion Mixed (with a hint of nutmeg)
Currency Dollars
Statistics as of 11/19/2006
Infrastructure 1.57
Literacy Rate 20.00%
Tax Rate 16%
Tot. Area 0.028 miles diameter
National Strength 8.210
Nation Rank #22787 of 25,417 nations
Tot. Population 114:
                             42 Soldiers  
                             72 Working Citizens 
Gross Income $53.85
Natl. Resources Water, Sugar

Contents

Nation Information

Vendeta is a small and new nation at 0 days old with citizens primarily of British ethnicity who follow mixed religions. It is a backwards nation when it comes to technology and many refer to it unkindly as a 'Third World Nation'. Its citizens enjoy freedom from high taxation and as a result tend to earn more money. The citizens of Vendeta work diligently to produce Sugar and Water as tradable resources for their nation. It is an aggressive country that some say has an itch for war. It believes nuclear weapons are necessary for the security of its people. The military of Vendeta has been positioned at all border crossings and is arresting all drug traffickers. Vendeta allows its citizens to openly protest their government, even if it means violence. It has an open border policy, but in order for immigrants to remain in the country they will have to become citizens first. Vendeta believes in the freedom of speech and feels that it is every citizens right to speak freely about their government. The government gives foreign aid when it can, but looks to take care of its own people first. Vendeta will trade with other nations with questionable ethical treatment of their citizens but prefers to keep such trade agreements a secret. Based originally on Warren Street, the nation of Vendeta is designated a state of Revolution. Ruled by the man known as V. We are a proud member of the MDC. Ask to join.

Future Goals

The goals in near future are to create a large and stable empire, gain acceptance into MDC, and take over the world (I kid)

National Holiday

November 17 is dedicated to a man known solely as V, and as such is called V Day. V Day is a memorial to the heroic heretic whom some would call a terrorist, others a murderer. But the people of Vendeta believe V is a hero, and as such his legend will never be forgotten. V was responsible for overthrowing the old power of the nation, and in doing so insighted a Revolution. It is known only as Revolution V. In creating the Revolution, V also created a new coutnry. People doubted the ideals would carry on. But carry on they did, and as a memorial to the legend himself, along with the numerous statues and posters throughout the country, November 17th is known as V Day, or to some, Revolution Day.

Revolution V

As stated, Revolution V was incited by V, the hero of the people. It began with several thousand civilians marching on the nations capital of Cell V, all wearing the trademark mask of V. A national monument was then destroyed in the square, symboliing the beginning of a revolt. For a few seconds, there was no movement. Then, after the last spark had faded, the gathering dissolved, did the revolution begin. The revolution lasted several weeks before the totalitarian goverment was overthrown, and people prepared to elect V as Ruler. At first, it was thought V had been killed in the firey spark of revolution symbolized in the destruction of the monument, but then he reappeared, and lead Vendeta onward.

Government

After the totalitarian rule the people had endured, the revolutionary ideas V represented were a welcome change. And with that change came the power, trust, and loyalty of a people united. Revolution is on its way to democracy, and freedom is ringing in Vendeta.


This article uses material from the "South Park" article on the Cybernations wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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