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Uncyclopedia

Up to date as of February 05, 2010

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

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George W. Bush and John Madden. Yes, this photo is real.

Stupid is a disease that has been plaguing society for many millenia. It has gotten to such people as Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, and Hilary Clinton. From the special children born ass end first to people with blonde hair, stupid is now far more lethal then the AIDS virus. Cases of stupid have been reported all around the globe, though in other parts of the globe nothing has been reported because people can't read. The 'stupid' gene, the gene which the disease targets, has been known to be vastly more attracted to these certain social groups: Scientologists, Hippies, the creators of Family Guy, Conan O' Brian, blondes, and many more. Basically, any person involved in any form of religion is a carrier of the stupid gene.

Contents

The History Of Stupidity

"That a stupid place to put a piano"..

Stupidity has been around since the dinosaurs. Seriously, they look up at the sky and go 'uuuuu pretty meteor' and fuckin bang! they're extinct. The only dinosaurs to not contract this disease were crocodiles, as they have an immunity and hatred towards stupidity (hence their love of eating asian tourists). The evidence of the disease is also present in the hyroglyphics of the ancient Egyptians, as many had contracted the disease and were unable to walk in the third dimension.

I'm guessing you're stupid then?

Well, to be honest, yes. With the rate of inbreeding in today's society there seems to be no way to stop this plague of stupidity. Paris Hilton, as a matter of fact, is a carrier. Think of Typhoid Mary only she's carrying stupid and lots of it. The fact people like her can become famous for downing a cock proves the existence of stupid sufficiently enough for all of us to be scared. Especially anyone who comes within a 1000 mile radius of her. The Notable Tanner Statham was well known for being the first to actually bring a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Spotting an 'infected'

They are not hard to find. They'll usually be reading gossip magazines about how awesome Robert Pattison is, or investing into the church of Scientology. Other ways to spot an 'infected' is to look for any person running Windows on their PC, any person who talks about celebrities, any person with their hat backwards (See 'Fred Durst'), Iranians, anyone whose sister is also their wife, anyone whose wardrobe includes knock-off Burberry, and anyone who voted George W Bush into the White House (particularly since this happened TWICE).

DO NOT GET INTO DISCUSSIONS WITH THE INFECTED! Due to the nature of the disease, discussions with the infected will often involve topics such as bananas, chickens, or how smart the president is. Stupid people will often spontaneously combust. Seriously, it happened to a friend of mine. I mentioned a book I was reading and BANG!!! You only learn that lesson once. To add, stupid people don't understand all caps. Also, the stupids have been known to spontaneously combust if you make literal use of modern day sayings. For example, the statement "I didn't end up going on the date tonight cause the other person had cold feet," coupled with the response "Well you should've bought them some socks," would cause the infected's head to explode from trying to process too much information.

Prevention

There is a way to prevent yourself from becoming stupid. Scientists have been working on a cure since 1921 in the 'Diputs labratory' located somewhere in Antarctica. It was rumoured they had discovered the cure, but unfortunately German backpackers visited their labratory and the scientists caught the disease, and the scientists therefore decided to make epic joints using their research as the papers. They got really high. Too bad we're all going to become stupid. Fucking assholes. However it is rumoured that another group had also been working on a cure...

UASTOEP

It is rumoured that in the world today, there are those looking for a cure. The Ultimate Anti-Stupid Team Of Extraordinary People (UASTOEP), consisting of Pamela Anderson,Your Mother, Bill Gates and Cesar Milan were rumoured to be creating a cure to the disease. They were creating revolutionary concepts to try and stop the stupid. Pamela Anderson tried by making people watch Baywatch, which made men focus on tits rather than anything else. It's purpose was to keep the stupids at bay, however all it did was cause more simultaneous erections then a worldwide orgy. Bill Gates tried to counter stupid with stupidity by creating an OS incapable of performing the most simple tasks. It didn't work either. The counter to stupidity I mean, the OS is actually incapable of performing the most simplest of tasks. Cesar Milan tried teaching the 'uninfected' to be dominant towards the stupids. It did nothing because the 'stupids' were incapable of deciphering the man's harsh Mexican accent, and the normals had no idea whether he was homosexual or just had a dog fetish...or both. But with their powers combined, they created a program that had dogs with titties on computers. It did nothing. Literally. Because Windows crashed. At least one of their ideas worked. But we're still cowering from stupidity. Fucking assholes.

The Seth MacFarlane Theory

The saviour of stupidity...(Not featured: Irony)

Apparently there is a way to become so stupid that your body goes full circle and rejects the disease. Seth MacFarlane had inadvertantly found this cure by creating an animated series that dilutes all intelligence from the mind and makes it come out the viewers anus within a period of 23.657 hours. This show was called Family Guy. After airing several seasons, countries with TV's have now shown a decreasing level of stupidity, due to the Seth MacFarlane theory of going full circle. Other theories are that people could not stand to watch such crap on their TV that they decided to gather large amounts of cinder blocks to destroy as many TV's as possible so the show would get cancelled. They succeeded...for a few years. Fox then restored the series, inadvertantly beginning to cure stupid once again.

But is it over?

The main question on everyone's minds is: what will happen after Family Guy? Surely there is no show that can possibly equate to the amount of mental diarrhea that is presented in every single microsecond of that show, is there? If such a show existed, wouldn't it cause the world to collapse on itself as the stupidity of the show would cause reality to bend and twirl into a portal of non-existence? No it wouldn't. It'd just be a replica called American Dad.

See also


This article uses material from the "Stupid" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

Wackypedia

Up to date as of February 07, 2010

From Wackypedia

Are you stupid? Experts decide.

Why is the world so obsessed with knowledge? We should all stop thinking for one day and eat grass.

~ Stu Pid

Gnn? No, I are not!

~ Man on the street
Stupidity being delivered.

Contents

Discovery of Stupid

Stupidity was discovered by the Europeans, though the Europeans like to claim it was the Chinese or the Arabs. It was isolated and kept in its purest form by esteemed 18th-century British chemist William Rofel Copter, later King Stupid. Beleiving stupid to be a miracle cure, he started a chain of restaurants known as Stupid King, where all food served was sprinkled with stupid. This produced disastrous effect amongst various people who decided to eat there. Unwittingly Copter had given 5% of the population of England stupidity. Not knowing what to do with these people, they were duly shipped off to the colonies, where they reproduced (stupidity causes permenant genetic mutations) and a significant community of them still survives today.

Stupid Extraction

Stupid ore (known as dumbite) is mined in a variety of places, the most abundant being America, Zimbabwe, and 4chan. Illogiland has a smaller reserve of stupid, which seems to be growing. Stupid is rumoured to be the only resource we will never run out of. The raw dumbite is converted into stupid through a process known as the Müt-Copter method, which involves large numbers of really awful jokes, causing any chemicals the stupid was stupid enough to bind to to leave in disgust.

Major Importers of Stupid

Japan consumes 80% of the world's stupid, having very little of its own. It converts most of this stupidity into xenophobia, and sneaks it into its water supply.

Chemical Properties of Stupid

Nobody knows where stupid stands in the periodic table, or if it is even an element, because it keeps losing its electrons and sending protons after them, changing its composition. Stupid is prone to forgetting the laws of thermodynamics, and occaisionally may spontaneously decrease its entropy. For this reason many other compounds hate it and will avoid it at all costs, often with limited success.

Toxicity

A man in the later stages of stupidity.

If inhaled, ingested or injected, stupid, permenantely modifies DNA and brain tissue, causing stupidity. Like baldness, sneezing and chocolate, stupidity is contagious. Unfortunately by using the Internet you have most likely already contracted it. Yes, the reason stupidity is so catching it can be transmitted in the form of electricity.

Signs of Stupidity

  • Deliberate typographical errors
  • Using a remote control to change the channel on the microwave
  • Attempting to punch the man in the mirror
  • Using wrong end of the pool cue to poke someone's eye out
  • Watching reality shows
  • Trying to heat up an ice cube
  • Trusting a guy whose name is a flavor of ice cream

Environmental Impact of Stupid

Already, our birds are being tragically mutated, with hilarious results.

Due to lax environmental regulation, waste stupid from factories is often simply released into the atmosphere. It is estimated that the air you are currently breating is up to 0.01% stupid. Industries especially responsible for stupid emissions are reality TV and Hollywood. It is thought that the planet is now increasing in stupidity by the day, and by 2020 birds will have forgotten how to fly.

See also


This article uses material from the "Stupid" article on the Wackypedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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