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The Who whooing in 1967.
“The Who? I saw them live at Woodstock.”
~ Oscar Wilde
“YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
~ CSI on The Who
“Who's who?”
“You should all be dead.”
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
~ Keith Moon on blowing up your toilet
“Who are you?.”
“What are you asking me for?!”
~ Abbot

The Who (AKA The What, The Where or The When) is a classic rock/Electro dancing band from the pits of Hell (Norfolk) known for their stage act of playing guitars at maximum volume and then destroying them in a sexual fashion, all the while singing "Hey Nonny-No" and prancing around the stage like complete lunatics. The Who have had released over seven bazillion albums, each one of which went on to sell well over ten trillion copies worldwide. Polka Rock has never been the same since. They composed several youth anthems and the CSI soundtrack.

What many people don't know is that The Who were originally known as The Flossynossypaedophilicifications, but after constantly being referred to as "the who?", soon adopted the name.

Contents

Band Members

It is trufax that the members of the Who are always good. The people that those members are attached to are alright as well.

Keith Moon

The asshole of the band, Moon was described as "daffy" for his outrageous and rebellious antics both on and off stage, including (but not limited to):

  • Biting the head off a Teddy Gram and then eating... a dog.
  • Urinating on the band and himself, licking it off until he could be sick over his kit, and then playing it, claiming the vomit added to the sound.
  • Sucking lead singer Davy Daltry's toes mid-song.
  • Making love to his drum kit.
  • Ordering one of everything on a hotel room service menu except for badger soup, of which he would always order two.
  • Destroying his drum kit, then using shards of the kit to attack random audience members.
  • Missing flights so he could throw televisions into hotel swimming pools.
  • Driving into a swimming pool and drowning (that was his best one).
  • Ripping in half the wives of people he disliked.
  • Taking horse tranquilizers before every show.
  • Passing out from said horse tranquilizers. (actually happened)
  • Making random idiots in the audience drum for him while he was nearly dead from said horse tranquilizers.
  • Drumming with the limbs of roadies and audience members.
  • Shoving dynamite up the arse of a policeman.
  • Snorting anthrax with the Pope.
  • Throwing shit at the audience.
  • And, as a finale, conjuring the devil to breathe down their throats, dissolve their testicles and turn their intestines into snakes.

John Entwistle

The bass guitarist. John Entwistle is one of few Ents in British popular music. He earned the nickname "The Ox" because he never bathed and smelled like an ox. Entwistle is most commonly known for playing the greatest bass solo of all time in "My Generation," but that is only the beginning of it. He uses a unique style using all 4 of his fingers with his right hand. He is the Roman God of the Bass. He learned to play the bass by means of apprenticing with centaurs and by selling his soul to the Devil. He was the best bassist in the world, and now is being forcibly held captive by Satan himself. We must gather the angels and quest to earn his freedom!

Pete Townshendhendbendsend

Peter Dennis H. Christ and his chosen one, Roger the nudist.
Born on December 25, 1 AD; thought to be Jesus's twin brother. He was sexually abused as a child (some call his abuser "Uncle Ernie") which explains why he dances like he has a hot potato in his pants. Contrary to popular belief he was not born with a Gibson in his arms. Instead, it was brought to him by a fourth wise man who mistook him for Christ. After hearing of his mistake, the wise man exiled himself to America and founded the Mennonite religion. He has been in a heated relationship with Davy Daltry since the Battle for Middle Earth in 3050. Pete has written many love songs about Daltry's hair such as: Who's the Dude With the Hair That Looks Like Creamed Corn?, I Love Yellow People, and the smash hit "Sexy Back". Lives today happily with Davy and popular singer/songwriter George Michael in a van down by the river. Wrote Album Tommy. Funnily enough he was the first Japanese ballerina to do the Swan Lake backwards up David Geffen's anus.

Roger Daltrey

Commonly referred to as "wot!?!?!?" since that's his reply to everything. Lost his voice in the 2006 tour; still looking for it. Found it with the passport he lost last year (1385), only to see it had been in a baby's mouth for a month. It is heard that it was lost when the old geezer did the scream to "Won't Get Fooled Again", and his old geezer lungs couldn't handle it. He has a small acting career (only shorter than the man himself, who is 4'11"), including when he guest starred on CSI, but it doesn't matter since no one watches that show anyway.

Also known for his intense sex appeal, he has been known to set up a ticket distributor outside his hotel rooms for all his hoes... He's got a few.

A Brief History

The Who formed in the year 1963 because there was a large calling for confusing band names that cannot be searched easily in Google. Ex: The Band, The Guess Who, The The, A-Ha and Let's Be Pretentious. It started with Roger "bumping" into John on the street, after many weeks of stalking him. Roger famously asked John "Wot he was carrying" refering to his large bass fish. To which John replied with many years of silence. After many weeks of Roger asking him dim questions, he finally allowed him to join his band. Pete then showed up after arriving out of a bubble and stated his place in the band and that they need more musical sensationalism. Even though no one really knew what the hell he was talking about, they allowed him to be the leader. After weeks of touring, the band felt something was missing. Keith "Ginger Sort Of Vision" Moon appeared and saved them from many years of undestruction and sober nights. One night he came up to the band and said "I can beat the shit out of your drummer better than him." To which he did. This was the start of the English derrogitive "bloody".

Selected Discography

  • My Penetration (1965)
  • A Sick One/Happy Jack The Ripper (1966)
  • The Who Sells Their Bodies For Smack (1967)
  • Magic School Bus (1968)
  • Mffmfmfmffmfmfm (1969)
  • Live At L33ds (1970)
  • Who's On First? (1971)
  • Meaty Beaty Big And Flaccid (1972)
  • Coprophilia (1973)
  • The Who Smokes A Number (1975)
  • Who The Fuck Are You? (1978)
  • Lap Dances (And Keith's Dead) (1981)
  • It's Long And Hard (1982)
  • Endless Careers (2003)
  • Who's Left? (2013)

See also

The Who had several rival bands, including, but not limited to:


This article uses material from the "The Who" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.







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