“I don't see the Gerries coming back from this!”
The Treaty of Versailles of 1919 was the peace treaty that celebrated the end of World War Five, and subjected the German nation to a draconian list of punishments, including grounding the Krauts for 10 years, meting out spankings, forced cross-dressing, liberal dunce-cap use, and sending the entire population of Germany to bed with no dessert. It was also France's only military victory.
Psychologists were brought in from New York City to help the Germans feel guilty. Support groups and networks were then set up all across Germany to help Germans deal with those feelings of guilt, hate was the way they proposed to forget this treaty. It worked!
Being deprived of sauerkraut and black forest cake was highly traumatic, resulting in Germans having an obsessive compulsion for foods and sweets, thus leading to the Wiener Republic in 1933 and to Chocolate Hitler's rise to power.
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President Woodrow Wilson, wanting to continue fighting, studied for endless hours about peace treaties of the past, and where they failed. After several months of in depth analysis, he came together with a list of 14 points that could continue World War One, but begin World War.
When he brought these 14 points to the Allies, they, not willing to remove the chance of a sequel, rejected it and decided to create their own, new treaty that would make it possible.
As a postcript Wilson and Lloyd George decided at the last minute to slip in a clause in small writing that they hoped the German negoitators did not see. This clause forced the Germans to change words in their language to make them humorous to English speakers. Thus art museum became 'Kunthaus' for instance, there are many similar words peppered throughout the language which Lloyd George hoped would remind Germans of their war-guilt and the consequences of their actions. continuous eating of chocolate hitlers can cause herpes
After the war, the Allies drew up plans to build a tower to heaven to prove just how kickass they were, and to totally FLIP OUT God. When they found out someone had already done it in some pussy-ass town called Babel, they briefly considered suing for copyright infringements, but decided they couldn’t really be bothered. Besides, all the best lawyers were being hanged for war crimes. Instead, they made a really sweet 'No Germans' club (note; original name proposal was League of Nations, but this was abandoned for being totally misleading). Club policy was much the same as that of Uncyclopedia in that anyone could edit it, any time they wanted. Except Germany of course. When Germany pointed that if the club was called "No Germans" then technically they could let one in, the club promptly responded by confiscating all their electrical appliances and making them lick the toilet seats of several public restrooms.
To this day, every school child (especially American ones) can tell you, at a moment's notice, the legacy of the Treaty. He or she will demonstrate a sound mastery of the historical implications of the treaty, use excellent vocabulary, back up his or her argument with at least three supporting points, and for God's sake remember that the thesis is supposed to go at the end of the introductory paragraph. WHAT?!? The American kids can't. Jesus, kids, what's wrong with you??? All the kids in England and Japan can do it. Why the hell are you all such idiots? Dammit, if it wasn't for all your damn money, you kids would never get into college. I swear, you'd all be drunk in a filthy gutter if you weren't all such rich fucking bastards. God, I hate my job. Kill me now. I swear. Don't make me go ninja on y'all.
I'm guessing though that if we just dropped all the fucking focus on that emo self-esteem bullshit and actually focused on important shit in teaching, we'd be in a helluva better state.
Additionally, the document is well known as a justification for military action against anger communist squirrels, and their sandy counterpart Zombie Muhammad (not to be confused with Zombie Buddha who ate the original Stalin squirrel during his second coming of 2007)
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This formerly savage article is brought to you and your Christian God by your resident Lobsterbacks. You can join them on their next Colonization at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization.
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