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Uncle Andross: Wikis

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Up to date as of February 05, 2010
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From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Uncle Sam?
“UNCLE ANDROSS!!!!!”
~ Andrew Oikonny on Uncle Andross
“He has a nephew.”
~ Captain Obvious on Uncle Andross
“Come on, let's play Monopoly!!!”
~ Uncle Moneybags Andross on Monopoly
“Go to Jail. Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200 dollars.”
~ Uncle Andross on Jail
“Only I have the money to buy Lylat!!!”
~ Uncle Andross on who has the money to buy the deed for the Lylat System.
“ALL YOUR MONEY ARE BELONG TO US”
~ CATS to Uncle Andross during a Monopoly game

Uncle Andross is the final boss of three Star Fox games. He is also encountered in Monopoly, under the alias Uncle Moneybags.

Contents

Early Life

Uncle Andross, uncle to Andrew Oikonny and grandfather to Dash Bowman, Fox McCloud's biggest stalker fan, was once a member of the Corneria Furry Science Committee. Uncle Andross became insane due to extreme kitten huffing and then performed wacky experiments on himself, this guy, that guy, <insert name here>, many furries, your mom, Oscar Wilde, and you. Uncle Andross, now a strange face of tiles made his own physics theory. (After all, he is a scientist.) After a series of arguments about the theory, a Monopoly game, and a threat to the Cornerian Science Committee, Uncle Andross was exiled to the Jail Space by Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Pepper got promoted to general, but Andross vowed revenge and escaped Jail by rolling doubles. Then he built an army using uncollected money from the Free Parking square. A mercenary group of furries, known as Star Fox, decided to fight Uncle Andross and stop his attack. Uncle Andross was defeated. General Pepper gave them money and they used it to build hotels on Boardwalk.

Uncle Andross between his experimentation and kitten huffing stages.

Reincarnation

Andross, barely clinging on to life, used 400 dollars to buy Dinosaur Planet, a bizarre demented Legend of Zelda place in the Lylat system. He kidnapped a furry named Krystal to serve as his sex slave bait for Fox, and placed her on the Jail space, since this would allow him to steal Krazoa Spirits and resurrect himself. Fox, lured in by the idea of sex saving Krystal, gathered the Krazoa Spirits and saved her from the safety of the Just Visiting space. Andross came back to life, and battled Fox. However, the battle was very one sided, since Andross would commonly eat meteors and bombs and choke on them. This head damage made him nutty, and he made the mistake of paying 10% income tax instead of 200 dollars. He then landed on the hotel on the Star Fox owned Boardwalk, and had to go bankrupt. His head asploded, and he was dead for good.

Attacks

Uncle Andross is known for many random attacks. In the original Star Fox, he would spit out tiles at Fox. But then he realizes that he is spitting out teeth, so he inhales them to keep them from getting away. Then he would spit out his teeth because he is eating his teeth. Then he would inhale them to keep them from getting away. That is why he spits out tiles. This is similar to his meteor attack, where he attempts to eat the player, but inhales meteors instead. Then he spits out the meteors because they taste like chicken bad. Then he tries to eat the player again.

Uncle Andross and Free Parking

If you get to the Free Parking space in Monopoly, Uncle Andross will spit the missing cash out at you. This is a great way to change the favor in the game, and annoy your friends by showing off the money that was once your opponent's. However, side effects include inflated ego, cheating, retribution via Go-To Jail space, and slobber on your money.

See also:


This article uses material from the "Uncle Andross" article on the Uncyclopedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.

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